


this busy city won't wait for you

by brujadelmar



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Alcohol, Angry Kissing, Angst, Friends to Enemies to Lovers, Hate Sex, Jealousy, Kyungsoo/Taemin, Love/Hate, M/M, Minor Byun Baekhyun/Kim Jongdae | Chen, Minor Byun Baekhyun/Zhang Yi Xing | Lay, Minor tao/chen, Multi, POV Alternating, Possessive Behavior, Social Issues, Swearing, Violent Sex, toxic masculinity
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-08
Updated: 2018-10-13
Packaged: 2019-06-07 04:55:04
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 57,676
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15211550
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/brujadelmar/pseuds/brujadelmar
Summary: Some things change, some things don't. One thing is for sure, Chanyeol still wants to tap that ass.(and Kyungsoo still doesn't know what the fuck is going on)





	1. jupiter return

**Author's Note:**

> Read the tags!

 

_._

 

_Around 24 years, you get your Jupiter return for the second time. Every time, he opens a door. Or many doors. Jupiter amplifies everything it touches._

_Be more balanced. Don’t lose yourself by wanting too much. Control your feelings._

_14.8.5.61.12_

_._

 

 

 

“I don’t get it,” Chanyeol says, frowning. “What that means?”

“Huh?” The boy behind the counter extends his arm. He wants the tiny paper. Chanyeol gives to him, shaking the remaining pieces of the cookie. The boy – the tag says “Mark” – laughs.

“You choose by your year. It means that now, you’re passing by a Jupiter return.”

“I choose my birth year, but I’m 25…” Chanyeol mumbles. “What does that mean?”

“24 years, this is not age, man,” he laughs harder. Chanyeol is still frowning. “It’s like international age.”

“Oh…” Chanyeol nods. “So, what does that mean?”

“What’s written on the paper,” Mark gives him the tiny piece of paper back. “Jupiter is a planet of good luck and exaggeration. It’s Sagittarius ruler.”

“Oh,” Chanyeol claps, pointing to himself. “I’m a Sagittarius!”

Mark nods. He’s really young, Chanyeol notices, but he has blonde hair like he’s a celebrity. The boy gives him the rest of his bags. Chanyeol holds them carefully.

“Enjoy you good luck, then,” Mark laughs. “The astrological luck cookie never fails. And be careful with those booze, man.”

“That’s not just for me,” Chanyeol nods. “But thanks, take care!”

 

Chanyeol smells the food; he’s more excited to eat tasteful things. He’s been out for six weeks now and he doesn’t get tired of food and his bed. He’s still getting used to the new phone apps and he spent his free time getting into new music and series. Now, he’s using his first salary after the service to have _real_ fun.

Jongdae and Baekhyun are waiting for him at the front of the store. They’re also ready to party, also greedy for having new experiences. Baekhyun got less time, Jongdae got more, but in the end, they’re back together. And nothing feels better than meeting his old friends, knowing that if the service or adult life haven’t divided them, then probably nothing will.

“Come on,” Jongdae whines. “These things in my eyes are melting.”

“The names are eyeliner and eyeshadows,” Baekhyun says, slapping him. “It’s not that hard.”

Jongdae isn’t a man of much adornment, but he agreed to makeup – he looks out of words, even with a simple black button up shirt and jeans. Baekhyun is borderline a Drag King now, in shiny clothes and dark eyes, but Chanyeol doesn’t blame him at all. Even himself - not a big fan of dressing up or caring too much about those things, - he put on some effort on his look. He needs to do every little thing that he couldn’t before. He feels like he just lost two years.

Baekhyun starts driving as soon as Chanyeol closes the door. Jongdae turns his face to talk.

“So, tell me about your new job,” he smiles. Jongdae is still the same sweet guy. Nothing in the world could affect him.

“It’s kind of boring,” Chanyeol yawns. “I have to write emails and bring coffee, mostly. Once in a while I can see some famous person in the rooms. But the people who work there are nice.”

“Well a recently barista let me say that at least you can do nice things on the Radio in the future,” Baekhyun complains. “Working exclusively for money sucks.”

“It’s not like… easy,” Chanyeol says. “I’m trying to make friends there.”

“Don’t worry, Chanyeol, I’m sure you’re going to succeed,” Jongdae smiles. “My classes are pretty boring too and being an assistant is kind of… I don’t know.”

“You said the professor was hot,” Baekhyun grins, Chanyeol can see through the mirror.

“He is, very young, very hot and also gay,” Jongdae says. “And his boyfriend is a head taller than me. You can flirt with the clients.”

“Yeah, for tips. It’s like… softcore prostitution,” Baekhyun says. “Oy, Chanyeol! Don’t sleep!”

“I won’t sleep,” Chanyeol scratches his back and move his legs. He shouldn’t have picked his most comfortable jumper. Now his body thinks he’s going to stay in bed until he passes out.

“I should have brought coffee,” Baekhyun mumbles. “We’re not used to this anymore.”

“Isn’t this going to be at Kyungsoo’s house? He must have coffee,” Jongdae says.

Chanyeol blinks.

“What?” He pushes his body up, sitting straight. “Kyungsoo? I thought we were going to Jongin’s birthday party?”

“Yes,” Baekhyun laughs. “They were born almost on the same day, don’t you remember?”

“But…” Chanyeol tries to focus. “I haven’t heard about him in years…”

Jongdae laughs. The song on the radio is that one about Piña Coladas and the noise of the dices hanging on the mirror makes it sound like a remix.

“It’s because he enlisted just after high school,” Jongdae explains. “Then he started working in an animation studio. I heard he’s pretty good there.”

“No surprises,” Baekhyun says, looking at the road. “Kyungsoo was good in everything. I miss his expressionless face. Tiny cute guy.”

“You’re not that big yourself,” Jongdae points.

Chanyeol can’t think straight. Literally. He’s gay and his high school’s biggest sexual fantasy is going to be at the party. He should have dressed better. He can still remember Kyungsoo bending to pick a pen on the floor… _great times_ … When he used to skip class to play guitar and when he still thought he was going to be famous someday. Now his knees can’t even bend right.

“Fuck, man,” he whispers.

“Chanyeol had a crush on him, right?” Baekhyun laughs. “On his ass, to be more precise.”

“Ah, Chany. You used to be such a hormonal teenager…” Jongdae mocks. “Good to see nothing has changed.”

“Is he single?” Chanyeol asks, ignoring their fun. “I mean, is he dating? Kyungsoo was so dedicated back then. He must be married by now.”

“Not that I know,” Jongdae says. “I only speak to Jongin these days. I mean, from our class, I guess I only met Amber… I saw Juhyun-noona… And Seulgi, she’s close to Jongin, so I guess she’ll be there.”

“Ah, pretty girls,” Baekhyun sings. “That’s what we need to see…”

Chanyeol’s mind is screaming. He could… He didn’t even think about Kyungsoo in the last years. When he was a teenager, he would spend his entire time following Kyungsoo around. They were good friends, after all. Kyungsoo was a fun, nice guy, but too quiet sometimes, keeping parts of him to himself. Chanyeol was a flirting teenager, but he never got the guts to be that careless with Kyungsoo. Kyungsoo was over focused when Chanyeol was disperse; they parted ways in adult life in a quite regular way.

“He still doesn’t have any social media?” Chanyeol sighs. “How do I know about Jonghyun getting married and I don’t know a single thing about Kyungsoo? We used to be so close…”

“Yeah, Kyungsoo doesn’t even have a facebook,” Jongdae nods slowly, frowning. “That’s kind of sad. Remember the sleepover in your house? He was there…”

“I do,” Chanyeol says and he’s getting angry, for a reason – he’s definitely not sleepy anymore. “He slept in my house many times. He was my mother’s favorite.”

“Not that it was a challenge. Didn’t she catch me and Jongdae making out once?” Baekhyun laughs.

“Awkward,” Jongdae laughs too. Baekhyun stops the car, parking messily. Chanyeol looks around and sees Seungwan and a girl walking the street.

“Fuck, is that…” he forces his vision, gluing his face to the window. “Yeri??? Wasn’t she a… kid?”

“She’s eighteen, still a minor…” Jongdae says, opening the door. “But well, she’s not like… twelve anymore.”

Chanyeol feels a hundred years old, but he’s not worried. When he leaves the car, the night breeze hits his face and he can hear the song in the other side of the street, a slow, dark The Killers song that makes his heart beat faster. He fixes his jumper and walks him, chatting with the girls. He doesn’t see Kyungsoo immediately, but he reunites with many old friends. Yixing, the exchange student, Hyoyeon, Seulgi, Minho, Taeyeon… Seems like the time moved backwards and he’s walking around in his old school. It’s not the same, of course. Some of them are married and most of them are already settled down. Chanyeol only sees Jongin after bumping into a lot of people.

“Chanyeol-hyung,” he smiles brightly, beautiful like always. “I’m so happy you came!”

Chanyeol, of course, doesn’t miss the chance to pick him in his arms, carrying him bridal style and spinning. Jongin laughs hard, holding on him.

“You’re heavy,” Chanyeol says, putting him down. “I see you’re working out even more.”

“I am,” Jongin says, standing up elegantly. “It’s hard for me to be sitting all day at work, so I guess I get too happy when I go to the gym. But you’re all buff too, hyung.”

“Well, that’s the only good thing,” Chanyeol sighs. “I mean, besides survive skills, drama knowledge and few friends. In case you want to feel my muscles, you just have to say and I’ll let you touch everything.”

Jongin snorts. He’s holding a beer, but he doesn’t seem drunk. His clothes are expensive and fashionable, but that’s no news.

“My girlfriend is in the other room, hyung, please,” he smiles sincerely, his soft hair moving on his forehead.

“So, you got a girl, that’s okay, I’m not a jealous guy,” Chanyeol mocks, just to make Jongin laugh again. “How about Kyungsoo? That one didn’t speak to me in whole five years, I think.”

“He’s around. He offered his place so he could lock himself on his room, I think,” Jongin smiles again, because he’s not bitter at all, especially when it comes to Kyungsoo. “But he’s exactly the same, hyung. Works too much, hardly complains and helps everyone… He’s tired, I think, but he would love to see you.”

“Really…?” Chanyeol asks hopefully but changes the subject after. He doesn’t want to look that much interested, because… well. He’s not expecting Kyungsoo to be interested on him. At all. He spends his teenager years being thirsty and he doesn’t want to spend his remaining adult years just wanting it too. He can find another nice ass around.

He does find some nice asses and even flirts, but he does it more because he misses being carefree. Still, doesn’t sound the same like he used to; there’s a heaviness, a sobriety that Chanyeol is sure that’s never going to leave him. Chanyeol drinks to forget some ghost feeling of being too rigid, trying to make his body softer. He starts the cycle of peeing, which means that the alcohol already went too deep on him. About the third time he goes to the bathroom, he notices that the only locked room is now slightly open. It’s pretty loud, so he walks to see what’s going on. He shouldn’t, of course, but he’s not thinking right anymore.

“… _hyung, can you please leave the room,”_ Chanyeol recognizes immediately Jongin’s voice. “ _At least for a minute. It’s your birthday too, let’s sing happy birthday together.”_

 _Oh_ , Chanyeol blinks.

“ _… I told you I’m not in the mood. I’m tired, Jongin.”_ Kyungsoo’s voice is even deeper and Chanyeol skips a breath. He tries not to move, but he’s unconsciously getting closer to the door.

“ _Please, hyung. Everyone is expecting to see you…”_ There’s a small noise, like something being dropped on a table. “ _Do you know who’s here today? Chanyeol hyung. He was asking about you, why don’t you go there and talk to him?”_

Chanyeol gets closer as he listens his own name.

“ _Chanyeol is the last person I would like to see right now,”_ Kyungsoo answers and he sounds offended. _“He’s exhausting. Please, just go. I don’t want to see anyone. Just leave.”_

Chanyeol is frozen on the spot, but he almost runs when he hears steps. His heart is palpitating hard, and his hands are slightly shaking, so he doesn’t pay attention and hits his shoulder on his way out to the balcony. It hurts and he holds himself, letting his cup fall on the floor. A random girl frowns and approaches him.

“Are you okay…?” She asks and she sounds genuinely scared. Chanyeol can’t focus on her face and he mumbles, _yeah I’m fine_ , but he’s not sure if he said loud enough for her to hear. He walks on the balcony and tries to breathe fresh air, but the place is filled with smokers. Chanyeol gives up and goes back to the party – the music suddenly seems too loud, the people too strange and he feels truly disconnected.

A hand holds his non-hurt shoulder.

“Chanyeol,” a soft voice says. He looks down. It’s Yixing.

“Yixing… hyung…” he whispers.

“Come with me,” Yixing says, rubbing his arms. Chanyeol follows him, even if it’s hard for him to avoid the people walking around. Yixing is leaving the apartment and he holds Chanyeol’s hand firmly. Chanyeol just stares at the ceiling.

“Look at me,” Yixing says and holds his other hand. Chanyeol looks at him again. “You’re in a party, with his friends and you’re fine. You’re just a bit drunk. How long since you drank this much?”

“Two years… two years and a half… I guess…” Chanyeol says.

“Okay, sit here,” Yixing points to the wall and helps Chanyeol to sit on the floor. “Wait for me. Until there, breathe slowly. Close your eyes. It’ll help.”

“Yes,” Chanyeol closes his eyes and breathe slowly. He has no idea of how long it takes to Yixing to comes back, because he’s sure he blanked out at least for some seconds. When he wakes up, his head is on a pillow and he’s on the floor. He tries to sit down, but his head is spinning.

“Calm down, hyung,” he hears and he recognizes Jongin’s voice. “Go slow.”

“What?” He blinks. Jongin, Baekhyun and Jongdae are standing next to him. Jongdae squats to look better at Chanyeol.

“You just… passed out, friend,” he smiles, unbothered as ever. “Yixing brought water but you didn’t wake up. We were already ready to put you on the couch and call the emergence.”

“Sorry, I guess I’m not used to alcohol anymore,” Chanyeol rubs his face with both hands. Baekhyun offers him a mourn mug. “What’s that…?”

“It’s a tea to help you to get better,” Jongin says. Chanyeol takes the mug and drinks it vigorously. “Hey, calm down! You don’t have to drink that fast… Kyungsoo made more in case you need it…”

Chanyeol stops drinking in the exact moment he hears Kyungsoo’s name. There isn’t much left, anyway. He gives back the mug to Baekhyun.

“I’m sorry for causing trouble, guys,” he says, standing up with difficulty. “I’ll go home…”

“You don’t have to, hyung,” Jongin says gently. “You can stay—”

“No, thanks,” Chanyeol says, trying to focus. “I miss my bed. I need to rest a bit.”

“I’ll take you home,” Jongdae says, smiling. “I’m also very sleepy. I had fun, but it’s enough…”

“Are you sure?” Baekhyun frowns. “We can take him home and then come back…”

“No, I’m serious, I’m sleepy…” Jongin reassures them. “I’ll just drop him safely then sleep too.”

“Fine,” Baekhyun nods. “I’ll take a cab home… take him, but please call me if he throws up or anything like that…”

“Don’t worry,” Jongdae says, grabbing Chanyeol’s arms. “Let’s go, Yoda, I’ll be your Luke Sky walker tonight!”

“So you’ll carry me?” Chanyeol laughs, pretending he’s not feeling like he’s about to die.

“If you were Yoda’s size, sure…”

The stairs are a problem, but the car moving is even worst; Chanyeol feels nauseous, but he knows he won’t throw up. The street lights pass by too fast, the chill music on the radio makes him dizzy and he really wants to cry, for some reason he can’t explain.

“Hey,” Jongdae says while driving, not looking at Chanyeol. “Are you good?”

“Yeah, just dizzy,” Chanyeol says. “Thanks for taking me home. Sorry if I ruined your night.”

“You didn’t,” Jongdae snorts. “You gave me a nice excuse to leave.”

“The party wasn’t cool…?” Chanyeol looks at him. Jongdae looks different, driving like that. His eyes are kind of sad, Chanyeol concludes.

“No, it was lovely. I was really happy to see our friends again…” Jongdae says, gulping. “I am just tired… I don’t know. I’m not in the mood for partying all night, drinking my ass off and flirting. I just want to go home after a while.”

Chanyeol let his words sink, closing his eyes to avoid the lights.

“It’s weird to feel like things will never be the same again?” Chanyeol says and he gulps slowly. “Like when we were young… I mean, we are young, but…”

“Things can’t be the same because we changed,” Jongdae says simply. “Some of us can still enjoy the things we did before, some don’t. I… think I want to do other things now. I don’t feel like partying. I used to do those things because I wanted to experiment, but now it doesn’t make sense anymore.”

Chanyeol opens his eyes and he nods slowly.

“I think those weeks being lazy kind of fucked up my body,” Chanyeol says absently, resting his had on the window. “I need to work out. Train again.”

“Don’t we all…” Jongdae laughs.

“Can I sleep in your bed tonight…?” Chanyeol asks quietly. “I don’t want to sleep alone…”

“What happened?” Jongdae frowns and looks at Chanyeol for the first time. “You look sad…”

“Nothing,” Chanyeol dismisses him. “Kind of tired too…”

  


But in the end of the night, even if he’s sleeping in Jongdae’s bed, Chanyeol can’t forget.

_Chanyeol is the last person I would like to see right now._

 

_He’s exhausting._

  


.

 

When the alcohol leaves his body, Chanyeol starts to run. Only in the morning, when he wakes up, since his radio schedule is a mess. He even goes out to buy healthy food, but as he gets home, he doesn’t know much what with them. Jongdae prepares few things, but Chanyeol has to use his money to consult a nutritionist and he didn’t actually expects her to give him nothing but some diet, but she actually gives good advice.

“I talk to many men like you, you know, who just left the military,” she puts her arms over her immaculate white table, inspecting the results of his exams. “It’s always the same… nothing wrong… besides few vitamins, but… just one or two fruits and cereals will help…”

Chanyeol frowns, confused.

“The problem isn’t here, understand?” She points with her long nails to the paper, but she’s looking at him. You are healthy, but you’re not used to your new life. The problem is in your mind.”

“So I need a psychologist?” He asked and move in his sit, uncomfortable.

“Well, we all need one,” she says, picking a pen. “Try to make some sport instead of running, something competitive, with rules, that give you some sense of objective. A type of fight? Maybe. I will pass you a new diet, then you come back here to tell me how you have been adapting, ok?”

He watches her writing and he feels like she’s right, somehow, but he can’t help but feel lost. Feeling lost is exactly the feeling. He knows that he can’t sit down and wait for the things to adjust to him, but… His sister is about to marry, his parents are too busy working, his friends are trying as hard as him to fit into their new lives and the ones who are settled already, well, they’re living their lives – in very different ways.

  


“A fight, she said,” Jongdae says thoughtfully, munching his hamburger. “Like Martial Arts?”

The place is crowded. It's the new popular place in town; Chanyeol wanted to see, even if he knew he was going to pay an astronomical price for a simple hamburger. The music was loud and there were so many young people that he felt like he was back to his partying days. They all look younger than him, somehow, but he wasn’t sure if it was true or just because he was feeling old.

“Hey,” Jongdae continues. “I think I know a nice place where you can train. I mean, I know a nice boxing gym near home… Everyday I pass by it when I stop to buy some bread… I would visit it, but I’m a bit shy to goin by myself…”

“I thought you and Baekhyun were going to work together… what happened to your give-a-ride schedule?”

“I don’t know, we’re lazy,” Jongdae shrugs and then takes a huge bite of his burguer. “Also, Amber recommended me the place. She says all her friends go there.”

“He lives upstairs,” Chanyeol says dryly. “You can take the elevator, if you’re tired.”

“When do you want to visit?” Jongdae ignores Chanyeol’s complaints. “We can go on Monday after work…”

“Fuck, no, Monday I take the night shift,” Chanyeosl says and he finished his burguer in two bites. He continues, still munching, “how about Thursday? I only work at morning.”

“Done,” Jongdae asks for a high-five, munching. A lady accidentally bumps into his shoulders while passing and he, of course, apologizes first.

“No problem, it was my fault,” she says, smiling and bowing. She’s using a tight rainbow dress and she looks out of this world, all long black hair and stunning pretty face. “Wait… Jongdae-oppa?”

“Huh?” He asks, a bit shy. Chanyeol wants to laugh; Jongdae is threatened by her beauty and scared at the same time. “Do we…?”

“Sooyoung, I used to go to Juhyun rehearsals, we did that wonder girls cover…” she points to herself. “Do you remember me, Chanyeol-oppa? People would call me Joy in high school…”

“Ahhh, of course,” Jongdae snaps his fingers. “How are you doing…?”

“I’m great, I’m just having a break from uni and—”

“You’re in uni…?” Chanyeol gapes. “How old are you now?”

“Twenty-one…” She smiles – she’s using gloves and that would look ridiculous in anyone who doesn’t look as good as she does. “I mean, almost twenty-one, I’m legally twenty.”

Chanyeol and Jongdae stare at each other and laughs. Sooyoung crosses her arms, but she smiles.

“What?”

“Sorry,” Jongdae says politely. “It’s just that we kind of spent a long time travelling before doing service and seems that we found every high school kid now and you’re all grown up.”

“Yeah, I forgot you guys didn’t stick around, Sehun was just talking about that—” She was pointing when Chanyeol makes a loud, indignant sound.

“Oh Sehun, you asshole,” he screams, before even spotting Sehun talking in a table just few meters away from them. “You were supposed to meet us an hour ago!”

Some people look at them, curious, but Chanyeol couldn’t care less. Sehun and Yeri look at him shocked; they look all ready to go to a party. Sehun goes to them, giggling.

“Sorry, hyung,” he smiles and Chanyeol already forgave him. “I just bumped into the girls and got distracted. I hope you two have already eaten.”

“Don’t worry about that,” Jongdae says, wiping his mouth with the napkin and Chanyeol is almost amused by him trying to show some manners. “Chanyeol already ate three. He’s out of control lately.”

“I never wait for people when the thing is about food,” Chanyeol agrees, rubbing his belly.

“Is this how you got so big, hyung?” Yeri asks, half mocking, half shocked. “I think your arm is like … Joy’s waist or something.”

“You can touch, if you want it,” Chanyeol flexes, pushing his short sleeve up. “But not too much, because you’re a minor and this is a whole over nineteen body.”

“But as you can see, he’s still the same dumb guy,” Sehun says plainly. Chanyeol punches him slightly and Sehun makes a face like he’s suffering. Sooyoung and Jongdae both laugh.

“Don’t worry, hyung, I’m taken,” Yeri says, nodding. Her tiny loose pony tail shakes. “Ah, talking about that… Me and Joy were in our way to meet my girlfriend at the party and Sehun is coming with us, want to come too?”

Chanyeol blinks. He’s not even surprised by Sehun’s betrayal, the annoying pop song that it’s been replayed over and over again or how Jongdae looks at him, blinking, too worried. He’s just surprised how casually the word was dropped, how simple it was.

“By the way, she’s calling me, so we better hurry,” Sooyoung says, distracted. Sehun and Yeri seem to be more aware of Chanyeol’s sudden discomfort. Jongdae taps his knee under the table.

“Let’s go,” he says gently. “I can’t let you eat another hamburger. You’re losing your control these days.”

“I’ll pay for it,” Sehun smiles. “To apologize for… my delay.”

“You didn’t even come,” Chanyeol frowns. “You’re only here because Sooyoung found us.”

“Shut up or I won’t pay for your food,” Sehun smiles.

“Fine,” Chanyeol nods.

 

He feels a bit better after walking a little. He’s still getting used to stay awake until late at night, but he wants to see people and maybe drink again. He will drink less, of course, to not be a burden to his friends. The street is full of people and most of them are new faces, even if Chanyeol stare at them trying to recognize someone. He’s tired, because he ran in the morning and worked a lot, climbing stairs to pick papers and bring coffees, making his knees too weak, but he would be better with some company. When he’s alone at home, he thinks about how he has no idea of what he wants to do, because there’s so many things he wanted to accomplish and he can’t sit down to materialize them. It’s like he’s in living in a weird hiatus that he didn’t planned, in between two realities that he can’t define yet.

And sometimes, he thinks about his parents’ expectations, his friends being too busy chasing their dreams and… Kyungsoo’s words. He didn’t expect to be so hurt after that but… he never did anything wrong to Kyungsoo. Ever. Even if Chanyeol was clearly attracted to him, he tried to not show this often because he was scared that Kyungsoo would reject him – and Chanyeol couldn’t imagine another scenario, really. He tried so hard to be Kyungsoo’s friend and then… Chanyeol was just annoying him. Or maybe _everyone_.

“Chanyeol,” Jongdae holds his arm. Chanyeol blinks and then stops walking. “We’re here.”

The girls are already crossing the street, but Sehun is waiting for him. Chanyeol nods, looking at the small club. It was a house, painted all black and there were people drinking outside and lights inside. After they cross the street, Chanyeol can see better and he spots a tiny, discreet rainbow flag on the main door. Chanyeol gulps, looking around. Everyone is just talking, hugging and drinking; well dressed and smiley.

A tall guy comes to hug Sehun and Chanyeol and Jongdae just watches them, two steps away.

“Oh, you should have warned me you were coming,” he says in a sweet way, holding Sehun’s shoulders. “I would’ve pick you at home, honey.”

“Ah, I told you I was going to meet my friends,” Sehun gets out of the way. “Chanyeol is the tall one and Jongdae is the tiny. Hey guys, this is Zitao…”

“Nice to meet you,” Jongdae smiles brightly. “I’m tiny…”

Zitao laughs. He’s… like a movie star, Chanyeol thinks. He has a platinum hair, pushed up, make up done and he’s dressed in all black and shiny clothes that seems expensive. He even has a bag.

“Nice to meet you,” Chanyeol says enthusiastically.

“Well, I don’t think I have seen these two yet…” Zitao says gently. “Your other friends are here… I mean, some of them.”

“Sehun has a thousand friends…” Jongdae nods, smiling. “It’s awful. We can’t even blink and he’s gone…”

Zitao smiles, nodding and it’s like a scene of a movie when you can see two people slowly meeting their romantic pair – maybe Chanyeol is spending too much time watching Netflix, but the music on is an oldie by Boa and it feels kind of nostalgic. Maybe the lights on the back hit them accidentally, but Chanyeol just stares at Sehun uncomfortably because he doesn’t want to be some cockblocking friend. Sehun takes the hint.

“So, where are the guys at?” He coughs to break the long staring between Zitao and Jongdae. “I want to talk to them.”

“Oh, of course,” Zitao blinks, clapping. He’s using some 90’s bracelets and it looks weirdly fitting in a man of his size. “Do you guys want to drink anything? We kind of exaggerated, because you know, my friend just left home today and he never fucking leave home…”

He says while walking and he waves his long arm, smiling. Chanyeol looks around, a bit excited and afraid to meet people. They are sitting in a small table next to the club, that look like any other garden table. There are boys and girls sitting in simple chairs and lots of bottles on the table and the ground. Only now Chanyeol realizes that Yeri and Sooyoung have disappeared of their sights. He thought they were the girls kissing on the other side, but then he realized they were too small and stopped staring.

“Hey,” Jongdae laughs. “Look at where you heading to, I’m in your way…”

“Sorry,” Chanyeol hasn’t noticed that he bumped to Jongdae or that he was surrounded by people. “Ah…”

He looks at the table and now he can see “Sehun’s friends” that basically consisted of people they met in school time plus some random beauties like him. Jongdae runs to talk with Amber and Chanyeol just smiles and bows.

“Hey,” she says, smiling into Jongdae’s tight hug. She still looks like a mischievous kid. “Finally, you guys showed up!

Sehun gives Chanyeol a beer.

“Wow, you look… even bigger, Chanyeol,” Amber says and they half-hug like “bros”; a tradition since teenagers. “What are you eating? I can’t get muscles like that…”

“Everything,” Jongdae says, pretending he’s sad. “He’s eating like he’s possessed. I can’t let food be unattended anymore…”

She laughs hard and Chanyeol slaps his friend.

“I’m starting a diet tomorrow,” Chanyeol says solemnly.

“You have said that every day since last month,” Jongdae retorts.

“I have the diet now,” Chanyeol bickers.

“You guys haven’t changed at all,” Sunyoung says, passing an arm around Amber’s shoulders. Her hair is long and brown, with short bangs and the bright yellow shirt she’s using has written on big pink font ‘LIKES GIRLS’. “I could recognize your whining from far…”

“He’s provoking me,” Chanyeol whines.

“Ah, there’s something missing… where’s Baekhyun?” Amber asks.

“He doesn’t leave home anymore,” Sehun says. “He’s changed.”

“He’s working on his line of clothes and he’s king of obsessed…” Chanyeol explains. “But sometimes he goes to parties. “

“Ah, I know what it is,” Sunyoung says, nodding. “Hey! Kyungsoo!”

She turns her head while she screams – she was always a good singer – and they all turn to see where’s she looking even before realizing who’s she calling. Chanyeol stares, in shock at Kyungsoo, sitting quietly in the corner, sitting next to Seulgi. He’s just like he used to be: short, cute and eating something. Chanyeol’s stomach does that thing that he feels like vomiting and laughing at the same time and he can’t help but check Kyungsoo out. He’s in all black, his clothes so dark that the sneakers look like they’re a part of his skinny jeans.

“Ah, didn’t seen him there,” Jongdae smiles. “Kyungsoo!”

“He’s camouflaged,” Amber says, winking.

Kyungsoo stares at them and, to Chanyeol’s horror, he gets up and walks to them, still munching whatever he’s munching. He looks so good, Chanyeol thinks, now he’s using that undercut and the right glasses to his chubby cheeks… Chanyeol wants to slap himself.

“Hello,” he says and his deep voice is still a heavenly sound. “Nice to see you again…”

“Hello,” Jongdae imitates him. “It’s too cold to stand on your own, friend. Or are you like Chanyeol that goes out with gym clothes in winter?”

Kyungsoo stares at Chanyeol. Chanyeol gulps.

“Oh, hi, Chanyeol. I saw you weeks ago, but you were sleeping…” he says casually, and he gives Chanyeol that heart smiled that used to make teenager Chanyeol’s heart goes crazy in his chest. Now, Chanyeol kind of wants to punch that squishy face. Yeah, he’s cute, but he won’t fool Chanyeol anymore.

“Yeah, sorry about that,” Chanyeol says dryly. “I didn’t mean to be a burden. I don’t drink that much anymore…”

“It wasn’t a problem…” Kyungsoo says quickly, somehow apologetically. Jongdae frowns. “I even asked Jongin to make you stay in case if you—”

“But I didn’t, thank you for being _so_ nice,” Chanyeol says, angry, and he sips his beer. The girls are completely confused and Zitao pops up with a cute looking drink in a martini glass.

“A friend of mine is doing drinks inside, anyone wants one?” He offers, completely unaware, and Sooyoung picks the drink, happy.  

“I want one,” Jongdae says and Zitao smiles. “Can you tell me where…?”

“Come with me,” Zitao says, a bit shyly and Jongdae just follows him, leaving Chanyeol in astonishment. He looks at Segun and that’s all they need, to express their mutual shock.

“I give them thirty minutes,” Amber is the only to verbalize the happening. “If much.”

“Is everything okay with you?” Kyungsoo asks suddenly, staring at Chanyeol. “It’s been a long time since we talked. I know you just left service… you look nice.”

He’s being gentle and worried, as always and it’s nauseating to Chanyeol to hear each word.

“Yeah, I’m fine,” Chanyeol sighs, not looking at him. “And you…?”

“I’m good,” Kyungsoo says and Chanyeol can’t see his face but he can sense his anxiousness.

“Good,” Chanyeol says pointedly and he turns to Sehun. “I want to see what’s like inside, let’s go?”

Sehun is making a face; he seems as lost as the girls, but he nods slowly. Amber shrugs and snorts.

“Be careful while you’re inside,” she says secretly. “Seungri is here with his new boy.”

Sehun rolls his eyes to the orbits and now Chanyeol is the one who’s not getting. Sehun grabs Chanyeol by the arm.

“Congratulations, hyung. You’re my fake boyfriend for the night.”

“I love being a fake boyfriend,” Chanyeol says, laughing. “But then you’ll have to tell me why.”

“Later,” Sehun pleads. “We’re going!”

“Bye girls,” Chanyeol says, waving. “Nice to see you two.”

They walk slowly, trying to not bump into anyone. Chanyeol doesn’t look back, doesn’t even try to pretend he knows Kyungsoo is still there.

“Why are you treating him like that…” Sehun asks in a low voice, and he sounds a bit sad. “What happened?”

“Nothing,” Chanyeol lies. “You can’t tell me shit but I have to talk?”

“Fine,” Sehun stops and looks over Chanyeol’s shoulder. “Seungri is my ex.”

“Fuck…” Chanyeol blinks. He suddenly needs a beer. “Fuck every kid here is dating…? Does everyone is now… you know…?”

“There’s a reason why we all became friends,” Sehun says casually. “It’s never a coincidence…”

Chanyeol thinks about that. It kind of makes sense.

“What happened between you and hyung…” Sehun asks again and he looks like a sad puppy. “You used to be best friends.”

“Not everyone stays as friends in adult life.”

Sehun lets go of Chanyeol’s arm and stands in front of him, crossing his arms. He’s so tall and broad now, Chanyeol thinks. He used to be just a mess of bones when he was seventeen. He stares at Chanyeol, waiting, and even if the place is a mess around them, Chanyeol feels a bit intimidated to be pressured by a friend like that.

“What?” He asks, almost pouting.

“No offense, but like, even the guys from google’s satellites must know you were into Kyungsoo. Being discreet was never your strong point, hyung.”

Chanyeol shrugs, looking down.

“It was a long time ago. I don’t like him anymore.”

“You don’t like… someone?” Sehun frowns even harder. “That’s even hard to believe. If you would have said you two had a fight, then ok… but that?”

 

“Well, I don’t like him anymore and it’s true,” Chanyeol whines. “Come on, I want to drink…”

 

Sehun doesn’t seem to be convinced, but he agrees. Chanyeol asks for a drink with Vodka and he inspects the place while drinking. Sehun doesn’t need him all night. He disappears and Chanyeol suspects he found a real company this time. Chanyeol finds Jongdae dancing, but apparently Amber’s prediction isn’t that right and he’s only talking with Zitao. After a while he stops moving and rests a bit, leaning against a wall. That’s the first time he realizes that he’s also being watched. Two guys in the corner are staring at him but trying to be discreet and the barman now is not being as discreet as he was when Chanyeol was asking for the drink. He blushes, and turn his sight, but he feels… good. He doesn’t feel… ready, which is weird, because sometimes he’s sure he’s ready to do anything. But it’s his first time there and he wants… he wants to feel confident; this is something that he can’t reach in this moment.

He sends a message to Jongdae asking if he’s ok with Chanyeol leaving early. Jongdae, as always, answer soon, informing Chanyeol that’s fine.

Chanyeol comes back home on his own, grabs some food and watches a funny movie while enjoying being a bit high. He thinks about Kyungsoo smiling softly at him and how much it bothered him. He gets up, picks a glass and throws it against the wall with full force.

 

He wakes up alone. Jongdae’s room is open and his bed is untouched. Chanyeol is a bit worried, but he waits until Jongdae calls him to tell he’s fine.

The doorbell rings.

Chanyeol opens the door, ignoring that he’s only in underwear, sleepy and hungover. There’s no problem, because it’s just Baekhyun and he’s looking even worse than Chanyeol.

“Please tell me there’s food here,” Baekhyun begs; Chanyeol is sure he saw Baekhyun using that clothes three days ago.

“Yeah…” Chanyeol mumbles, blinking. “Are you okay, man?”

“Sorry,” Baekhyun pushes Chanyeol away gently and walks in. “I only have three days before going back to work and many shit to fix, I was living off delivery food, but I got no money left for that, now.”

“Ah, fine,” Chanyeol closes the door. “You’ll have to cook your own food. Jongdae isn’t here…”

Baekhyun keeps walking, but he glances at Chanyeol before disappearing in the kitchen.

“He’s not? Where is he?” He asks.

“No idea,” Chanyeol yawns and he picks the first shirt he sees. “We went to a party with Sehun yesterday and he didn’t come back.”

“Ah,” Baekhyun laughs. “Sehun told me. He sent me messages today to ask me to “spill the tea”.”

“The tea,” Chanyeol asks from inside the shirt. “What tea?”

“The tea is like… he wants to tell me a gossip,” Baekhyun laughs. “You used to be a connected guy, Chanyeol, what happened?”

“I don’t know, “Chanyeol says as he enter the kitchen. “I guess I’m still getting used back to things…”

Baekhyun is putting the ingredients to a spaghetti on the table. Last time he did it, he burned the whole sauce. Chanyeol sighs.

“Ok, let me do it for you,” he says. “I guess I need to eat and you do look cute while you eat, so…”

Baekhyun beams, bowing many times. Chanyeol follows the recipe on his mind. He survived with less the last months, having so much food to cook won’t be hard. Baekhyun puts on a song, because they have been friends for too long and they know how to work best. Chanyeol holds the tomatoes and cuts one by one, singing the song and moving his body in the rhythm.

“So,” Baekhyun says, sitting by the table. “What’s the tea?”

“About Jongdae?” Chanyeol frowns. “I don’t know, man. He probably banged one of Sehun friends.”

“I see,” Baekhyun says. “Sehun asked about you and Kyungsoo, but it’s good to know.”

Chanyeol puts the tomatoes pieces on the bowl and takes a long breath.

“No tea, I guess.”

“He said you mistreated Kyungsoo,” Baekhyun said, making a face to his phone screen. “That can’t be true. I can’t imagine that not even in a thousand universes.”

Chanyeol feels that anger again, now tied to the fact he also feels like he’s the dumbest man in the world.

“Maybe I’m not interested in being his friend anymore…”

“Yeah, you? If I introduced to the devil, you would take pictures with them for your insta,” Baekhyun says. “You still have an instagram, right?”

“I do,” Chanyeol grunts.

“Are you mad at Kyungsoo…?” Baekhyun asks confused, watching Chanyeol measuring the spices. “From all the people in the universe, why him?”

“He doesn’t like me too. It’s a mutual feeling,” Chanyeol says.

“I doubt it,” Baekhyun says. “If Kyungsoo didn’t like someone, I guess no one would ever find out, he’s so polite…”

That’s it, Chanyeol thinks. He was so damn stupid. He would never find out – he would keep following Kyungsoo around like a dog just to find out Kyungsoo hated him all this time. He sighs and turns to Baekhyun.

“Listen, I don’t want to talk about him anymore, okay? I’m done. I don’t like the guy, it’s over.”

Baekhyun gapes.

“Well… fine…” he says, nodding slowly. “You don’t need to get mad at me too…”

“I’m just…” he goes back to cooking. It’s hard to explain.

 

When he and Baekhyun finishes preparing the meal, he takes a picture and puts it on his Instagram; the first pic in years.

_Something new :)_

  
  


Jongdae is fine. He’s so fine when he gets home that he keeps his happy mood until Thursday and visits the boxing gym with Chanyeol. It looks small outside, but it’s ample and comfortable outside. Everything is black and glassy, like someone tried to create the contrast between hidden and open. Jongdae looks around curiously, checking the names on the wall, the punching bags, the hanged gloves and twirling around the room. There are some guys walking around and even girls so Chanyeol feels more comfortable to walk to the biggest boxing ring – it stays in the center, under the lights. He likes it and he touches the jumping ropes someone left there.

“Hello, how can I help you,” a tall man walks to them. He’s not very muscular, but there are some thing scary about the way he walks.

“Hi,” Jongdae smiles, bowing. “We want to know more about the gym…”

The man checks Chanyeol and Jongdae before answering.

“Trying to work out or a more professional thing?”

“Work out,” Jongdae says.

“I could try the professional thing,” Chanyeol says. “Anything is better than my job lately.”

Jongdae snorts and the man gives him a small smile; Chanyeol considers it a victory.

“My name is Yifan. I’m a trainer here,” he says simply. “I was a fighter few years ago. But then I got hurt and now I train here.”

“Ah, you don’t look hurt,” Chanyeol frowns.

“Internal,” Yifan point to his torso and they get tense immediately. “But as I was saying, I need to know what kind of training you want, to know exactly what to show around the gym.”

“Since we are beginners, the simplest? I mean, Chanyeol can take some punches, but I’m a bit skinny…” Jongdae tries. The man rubs his hands together and the whistle. A tiny girl comes running to them, fully dressed like she’s about to fight – except she’s not using gloves, but some sort of elastic ribbon around her hand.

“See that girl,” he says pointing to her. “Our best female lightweight, Taeyeon. She may look fragile to you, but she can take you down. Even you, Mr. Big guy.”

Chanyeol wants to snort, but the girl raises her eyebrows and leans her head.

“Wanna try, boy?” She asks slowly.

“No… no, I’m good,” he says, gulping. Jongdae tries to contain a laugh. The man seems satisfied, nodding. Two or three guys are looking at them.

“Taeyeon, show them the basic training route,” he says. “I hope you enjoy the place. In case you want to stay, talk to me.”

They nod and the man leave. She points with her head to the right.

“Follow me newbies, what are your names,” she asks absently, waving to the guys. “These will be your colleagues if you stay at the gym… at this turn…”

“I’m Jongdae and he’s Chanyeol,” Jongdae says, also waving to the guys.  Chanyeol shakes his head, smiling. He’s such a—

“They are ours or from upstairs?” One of them ask.

“Let’s see…” she smiles knowingly and keep walking. She shows him the pretraining, easy repetitive exercises. It does sound exhausting, even if they aren’t difficult.

“Can we see people fighting?” Chanyeol says, touching a water punching bag. “Nice.”

“If you get in, you’ll spend weeks and months before you even get to punch a person,” she explains. “And the first time is just a simulation, even for the professionals. Don’t get too excited about it.”

“What’s upstairs?” Jongdae asks.

“Oh, they are a part of a gym, but small rooms,” she answers. “Yoga, Pilates and Physiotherapy.”

“I don’t understand why… why did they ask…” Jongdae frowns.

“Ignore it. It’s a joke. Some of the guys here are dumb,” Taeyeon says simply. “Too much testosterone affects the brain. And men aren’t shit.”

It’s not like Chanyeol or Jongdae will deny in her face.

“So,” she says, opening her arms. “What do you think?”

“I’m in,” Chanyeol says.

“Count me in,” Jongdae nods.

  
  
  
  


Chanyeol was fully back at his social media routine. He can now use his only privilege at work and take pictures with famous musicians and talk a lot about the radio routine. That’s what changes in his schedule in two months, besides the gym. He stills has a Netflix addiction, he can’t go to parties and he’s constantly tired. He doesn’t know what he’s doing most of the time.

Nothing is too different.

Maybe Sehun’s birthday party. But no confrontation happens.

Baekhyun and Yixing sit while holding hands and to no one’s surprise but Chanyeol, they apparently are dating. Everybody acts like normal. Chanyeol pretends he’s okay with that information, mostly because Jongdae also don’t care – he’s too busy disappearing at weekends to care that much.

And then, Jongin, his girlfriend, Kyungsoo and Amber are sitting in the corner, talking and when Chanyeol talks to them he doesn’t spare Kyungsoo a look before sitting far away. Kyungsoo doesn’t do anything. Life goes on.

 

“I really don’t understand,” Jongdae says, putting on his sneakers. The gym gets really crowded at night and at the morning, but after lunch, it’s empty for some reason. Chanyeol is trying to change his shirt, but he’s so sweaty that the fabric glues on his skin.

“Fuck, I need to buy the clothes,” he complains.

“Are you going to ignore me?” Jongdae slaps Chanyeol’s arm, then make a face. “You’re so gross, go take a bath."

“What do you want,” Chanyeol says angry. “What the fuck, man.”

“You just stopped trying to hang out with Kyungsoo and Jongin. You barely look at them,” Jongdae says. “You don’t expect me to believe you just stopped liking people.”

“I don’t like straight people,” Chanyeol says, out loud. He’s been having trouble to not get into fights. Some guys at the gym still make some… remarks. One of them suggested that Jongdae should do yoga, instead of boxing, because he was ‘too soft’ to fight. If he wasn’t saying in a suggestive tone, Chanyeol would agree. But with that smile, he had to come really close to the man and say ‘sometimes tough guys are soft too, you know?’, slowly and clear, checking him out. The man took a hint.

“Stop it,” Jongdae laughs. “I told you.”

“I don’t like them too, but stop screaming,” Taeyeon says, walking by. “Chanyeol, if you want to get naked, go to the men’s changing room.”

“Sorry,” he apologizes. He wasn’t in the mood to climb the stairs, but he had been called out before. He picks his bag, screams ‘wait for me’ and then runs to the next floor. It’s a different air upstairs, literally: it smells like incense and air conditioner. It’s a lot colder and cleaner and Chanyeol always feel weird walking in the corridor. He looks around and notices there’s someone coming, so he hides himself, jumping back some degrees.

“… so basically, we have three sessions this week,” a female voice says. Chanyeol is almost sure is one of the instructors. “But only one of then is women-only, on Friday night.”

“… Ah, I can’t come Friday night…” another woman says quietly. “Do you know if there are a lot of the guys on the Wednesday night?”

“Ah, no, I mean, just five…” the other woman says. “I know the boxing dudes may scare a bit, but the men on our floor aren’t the same, you know, they just want to workout and fixes problems…”

“The boxing guys did scare me…”

They laugh. Chanyeol secretly agrees. At least half of the guys in his training session just wants to reinforce their masculinity.

“Ah, why don’t you try Friday morning? There’s just Kyungsoo in the room, I guarantee you,” the woman says.

Chanyeol widens his eyes and almost falls . He’s torn between staying there or going back and he just… waits. There were many Kyungsoo’s in the world. Many. It could be another Kyungsoo. He never heard about Kyungsoo going to the gym, anyway. He never bumped into him… well, Chanyeol has never gotten into the gym during Friday mornings… But it couldn’t be, he says to himself. It couldn’t be Kyungsoo.

He remembers who recommended the gym to Jongdae.

_Amber._

“Amazing,” Chanyeol mumbles. “Fucking amazing.”

He can’t hear any voices anymore so he takes a deep breath and climbs the rest of the stairs.

  
  
  
  
  
  


His boss is staring at him, incredulous.

“So,” she says, looking so soft in her rainbow top and heart earrings, “you’re telling me that you want to trade your Friday morning shift to work Friday night? Voluntarily?”

“Yes,” he says, smelling the coffee. It’s weird to be the one drinking it. “I don’t really go out on Friday night.”

She puts her elbows on the table and supports her face on her hands.

“Are you okay, Chanyeol…?” She asks. “You’re a good assistant here, but sometimes I worry.”

“Yes,” he smiles. “Thank you for worrying, Steph.”

“Fine,” she says. “If you say so, I think now I have to inform that a lucky someone can be free during Friday nights.”

“Thank you,” he says, nodding.

  
  
  


Chanyeol just wants to be sure. That’s all. He doesn’t even tell Jongdae about his shift change. He won’t notice, because he doesn’t even step at home during Fridays. Chanyeol goes to the gym alone with his bag, feeling half stupid and half excited. He doesn’t know why, but he’s motivated, training harder. He looked up the Pilates schedule and he knows Kyungsoo’s session starts nine a.m. and finishes almost at eleven. He doesn’t see Kyungsoo in the time he’s supposed to enter the gym, so Chanyeol isn’t even sure if he’s there.

Maybe _it is_ another Kyungsoo.

Chanyeol is trying to get out of his shirt when he’s punched in his back.

“Fuck,” he screams, finally taking off the shirt.

“Why do you never learn?” Taeyeon sighs. She’s looking like a kid in a big shirt with the Gym’s name printed on it. “Upstairs, in the changing room.”

Chanyeol nods. He really wanted to pass by the second floor. The Pilates room has a glass entry and he sometimes caught people rolling in big balls like it was a toy room or something. That kind of thing fitted Kyungsoo, he thinks, climbing the stairs. He would look cute while doing it. Chanyeol slaps himself. _You dumbass._

Chanyeol gets on the second floor and looks at the glass door, trying to see if he can see anything. He only sees a bunch of girls, vene after minutes trying. The corridor is too cold for him to be shirtless and they may think he’s a creep if he stands there.

“… Chanyeol?”

He turns back quickly. Taeyeon is going to eat him alive.

It’s not Taeyeon.

“Ah, it’s you,” Kyungsoo says quietly. “I recognized by the ears.”

He’s using a simple short sleeved black shirt and shorts, holding a bottle of water. His face is all sweaty and his lips are so red… Chanyeol blinks.

“Oh, hey… huh, Kyungsoo,” he coughs. “What a surprise.”

“Yeah,” Kyungsoo nods. “Are you in the yoga class or the physio? I’ve never seen you here before.”

“Downstairs,” Chanyeol says, straightening his posture. “I train in the boxing gym with Jongdae.”

“Oh,” Kyungsoo says and he looks uncomfortable. “Ah, of course.”

“It was nice to see you again,” Chanyeol says dryly, trying to hide his nervousness. His palms are sweating. “But I have to go. See you someday.”

He tries to walk but Kyungsoo intercepts him.

“Listen…” Kyungsoo says hesitantly. His eyes look impossibly wide now he’s not in his glasses. “I don’t know why you’re angry at me, but… if I did anything, I’m really sorry. I don’t want you to be angry at me.”

Chanyeol looks at him for few seconds while his brain refuses to work correctly since Kyungsoo is holding his arm.

“Don’t have to,” Chanyeol says coldly. “I know you’re doing this because you’re polite, but you don’t have to pretend to be my friend if you’re not.”

Kyungsoo seems to be taken aback by Chanyeol’s words.

“I… know w-we aren’t friends anymore…” he’s stuttering and red on the cheeks. Chanyeol frowns. Is he embarrassed because he found out that Chanyeol knows…?

“So, tell me,” Chanyeol says, licking his lips. He feels… powerful. “Have we been friends before? Do you think so…?”

Kyungsoo frowns.

“Yes,” he says firmly and lower his eyes. Chanyeol isn’t getting what’s going on.

“What the fuck you want, Kyungsoo?” He says, frustrated, moving his arm, so Kyungsoo would set him free. “I don’t have time—”

He stares at Kyungsoo staring at him.

“for this… bullshit…”

Fuck.

Kyungsoo was staring discreetly at his naked chest. Chanyeol wants to laugh. Kyungsoo wasn’t embarrassed because he was caught – he uncomfortable because Chanyeol was topless, and he… _Holy shit_ , Chanyeol realizes, watching how Kyungsoo’s body is shrinking like he’s trying to hide something.

Kyungsoo wants him. There is nothing else in the way he looked at Chanyeol. It was clear as water, even in the way he was hesitantly holding Chanyeol’s arm.

Chanyeol holds Kyungsoo by the arm, instead, pushing him.

“What—” Kyungsoo says, dropping his bottle. Chanyeol pulls him while walking and presses him against a wall, the furthest he can from the stairs and the rooms. “What are you doing?”

Chanyeol looks around on the corridor and checks if someone’s coming. Chanyeol turns back to Kyungsoo and lets his arm go. He bends so he can be in the same eye level as Kyungsoo and gets so close that he can feel how their breaths are mingling.

Kyungsoo doesn’t say a word. He just stares at Chanyeol expectantly.

“Tell me,” Chanyeol finally says. “Do you like what you see…?”

Kyungsoo blinks and imitates Chanyeol’s gesture, looking to his side to check the corridor.

“Why are you asking me that…?” He answers and Chanyeol has chills down his back watching how Kyungsoo stares at his mouth. Chanyeol is not in the mood for talking, so he grabs Kyungsoo hand and slowly puts it over his crotch. Kyungsoo’s breath is getting faster and Chanyeol is too excited, almost salivating, feeding in Kyungsoo’s reaction. He moves closer to Kyungsoo’s shoulder and whispers,

“You may have it,” Chanyeol says, smelling Kyungsoo’s shoulder. “If you ask gently.”

Kyungsoo just breathes and Chanyeol keeps moving to his neck, up to his ear – then, he licks gently the ear lobe, just to suck in his mouth after. Kyungsoo makes a tiny, strangled noise and that’s it. Chanyeol is burning.

“What--?” Kyungsoo asks, trembling. Chanyeol presses Kyungsoo’s hand harder against his bulge.

“Just beg,” Chanyeol whispers again, straight in Kyungsoo’s ears. “I can see you want it.”

There is a second of anticipation that seems to be an hour long.

“I want you,” Kyungsoo says simply and it’s so easy Chanyeol wants to rip himself. “Please.”

It’s no trophy to put in your room, but damn, it feels good.

Chanyeol throws his head back, putting some distance between their bodies and stare at Kyungsoo, smiling. Kyungsoo looks… well. Chanyeol can see himself fucking Kyungsoo until they can’t move. Those lips… ah. They were made for things.

“Yeah?” Chanyeol asks.

“Yeah,” Kyungsoo answers. Chanyeol can call him anything but a coward, so he breaks the distance between them and kisses Kyungsoo, licking his mouth like he licks the bottom of a plate. Kyungsoo lets out a small breath and opens his mouth, lets Chanyeol presses him against the wall harder, lick inside his mouth. Chanyeol can’t resist rubbing his hands on Kyungsoo’s tights, but he stops just before he can grab the ass. He knows his own limits and he breaks the kiss.

“I bet you do, you little bitch,” Chanyeol spits, walking back. “But I would rather die than fuck with a liar like you.”

Kyungsoo blinks, confused. His mouth is open, wet, and he’s just…

Chanyeol can’t put it in the words, but it’s too good. He licks his lips as he walks out the corridor.

Tastes like victory.

 

 

.


	2. mars retrograde

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It was just so fast – Kyungsoo blinked and then they were making out. It was quick… even if wasn’t exactly a surprise. He didn’t pay much attention to Chanyeol in high school, mostly because Kyungsoo was just a regular virgin who had trouble making friends. He did have sexual fantasies, mostly involving hot drama lead actors, not his fellow skinny teenagers. It was a bit of shock to witness each one of his nerd, problematic and gay friends becoming fine ass men. He was pleasantly surprised, of course. He just wished that Chanyeol hadn’t got that hot, because now Kyungsoo has to live with the endless question:
> 
> What the fuck is going on?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> explicit content! read the tags!
> 
> (some sort of revenge porn)

  
  


It was not the most peaceful morning to Kyungsoo. 

When he was a teenager, he knew exactly the type of job he didn’t want to have: papers, a small room, sitting on a chair all the day long. And that’s why he asks himself everyday why he ended this way. 

He takes his new pens from his old – even if expensive and good – bag and tests them on the paper. He has to draw the new character and the experience taught him that he has to prepare at least seven (cabalistic number) sketches. They always give him a long text that, in the end, says nothing. Seulgi gave him one of this horrible, too strong espresso that people drink to keep awake, but Kyungsoo isn’t a fan and he’s not sleepy or unmotivated. He is, no doubt, feeling a lot of things he’s not used to— the light is too strong and he keeps putting on his black glasses, but he’s already blind without them, so what’s the point. His phone is ringing too much and he can bet that it is Sehun asking them where they are going to eat lunch, knowing very well that Kyungsoo cooks his own and Jongin doesn’t eat with mortals if he needs to skip lunch or see his girlfriend. Maybe Kyungsoo should accept his offer. Maybe, if he does it, he’ll gain some weight, since he only breathes and then loses three pounds. Also, he can get distracted just a bit, because…

He’s thinking about Chanyeol. He shouldn’t, but in the last months Chanyeol went from “a high school friend” that Kyungsoo had nothing but sweet memories to… well, he’s not sure yet. A mystery. Chanyeol used to be friendly, nice, accessible and… gentle. Kyungsoo used to hate school; it was just a place for suffering. He knew he didn’t want to study, but he was obligated to do it. Chanyeol was the one who befriended him and introduced him to some of his best friends. If it  wasn’t for him, Kyungsoo would be bored in that mess of a place. He couldn’t understand how much Chanyeol has changed. Kyungsoo had trouble keeping up with his friend’s life. He was scared by the possibility of having to stop his professional life when he would be already thriving – oh, he was young and he thought he would be super famous in his mid-twenties, but what’s the point of being a teenager if you’re not a utopian dreamer? In the end, he was just like everyone else, too lost to find himself in the way and also losing many things, including close friends. He just… he couldn’t imagine he was going to lose a friend like that; if they were too busy, what could they do? Adult life sucks sometimes. But never before because a friend started hating him. 

Kyungsoo tried so hard trying to picture what he did wrong. He couldn’t even imagine why Chanyeol was so angry. Kyungsoo knew it wasn’t because Chanyeol was frustrated or changed; apparently, he was still the same with other friends. Only Kyungsoo was being punished for something he had no idea of what could be. Kyungsoo also tried to convince himself that it didn’t matter. He spent years without talking to Chanyeol, he wasn’t going to die if Chanyeol suddenly decided he didn’t want Kyungsoo in his life. 

But then, _ that _ happened. 

It was just so fast – Kyungsoo blinked and then they were making out. It was quick… even if wasn’t exactly a surprise. He didn’t pay much attention to Chanyeol in high school, mostly because Kyungsoo was just a regular virgin who had trouble making friends. He did have sexual fantasies, mostly involving hot drama lead actors, not his fellow skinny teenagers. It was a bit of shock to witness each one of his nerd, problematic and gay friends becoming fine ass men. He was pleasantly surprised, of course. He just wished that Chanyeol hadn’t got _ that _ hot, because now Kyungsoo has to live with the endless question:

_ What the fuck is going on? _

He made Kyungsoo lose half of his sacred Friday Pilates classes, because Kyungsoo couldn’t simply walk toa room full of women while spotting an obvious erection. And he didn’t even know if he should be excited; was Chanyeol trying to excite him or just humiliate him? And why did he do that? Was that some kind of a joke? 

Kyungsoo sighs. His phone keeps ringing. He gives up and accepts lunch with Sehun. He needs someone that he can trust; at least he knows Sehun is just slightly weird all the time and won’t freak out and leave with no more words.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


.

 

He’s chopping the scallions when they appear. Kyungsoo likes to reserve his friday nights to do relaxing activities like cooking, watching old movies and being far, far away from human interaction. The movie today is “Who’s afraid of Virginia Woolf”, a Hollywood classic. It looks, deep, boring and grown up, so it just might be what he needs. Kyungsoo puts on his favorite chill music and eats a small piece of carrot, admiring his newly bought beautiful dishes . In the moment he holds the knife, the doorbell rings. It’ a bad sign. He knows it. Good news never just knocks on your door. 

He contemplates it if is the best decision to open the door. Something in his head screams ‘no!’, but he opens it anyway – even sporting his penguin apron that may or may not be ridiculous, but it was a mother’s gift and he couldn’t just… throw it away. 

“Ooooown,” Sehun coos. Kyungsoo tries to close the door and a long leg stops him – but which one is the owner, since he has three tall men at his door?

“Come on, hyung,” Jongin pleads. Kyungsoo thinks he’s suitable for playing a baby. “Just listen!”

“No,” he says. “Go away!”

“Kyungsoo,” Tao laughs, because he’s not that invested in taking Kyungsoo out. “It’s been months since you joined us!”

“I have reasons,” Kyungsoo complains, but Jongin opens the door, probably because he’s looking twice the size now he’s taking every dance lesson in the world. “Last time you all left to fuck and I had to stay in the party alone because no one even bothered to send me a message.”

“I’m sorry, Hyung,” Sehun says seriously. “That day was just a mess.”

“I wasn’t there,” Jongin whines. “Why are you blaming me for their mistakes, I never let you down!”

“You were probably banging your girlfriend at home, so for me it’s the same,” Kyungsoo sighs and gives up to slam the door on their faces. “I can’t go to wherever you’re going. I’m cooking.”

Tao’s eyes almost pops out of his face. 

“Cooking… what?” He looks over Kyungsoo’s head. “Why didn’t you invite us?”

“Omurice,” Kyungsoo says, a bit offended. It’s not like he’s going to jump to stop Tao from glancing at the kitchen. “It’s my sacred night, please leave.”

“Are you going to deny food to your best friends, hyung?” Jongin asks and Kyungsoo has no idea of how he looks teary eyed so fast, but he lets them in. A mistake? Probably. But unfortunately, despite what people think, Kyungsoo is nothing but a soft-hearted dumbass. 

They not only eat his food – after a while, because Kyungsoo has to make more, since Zitao has some monster inside of his eight-pack-abs, - but they also change the channel to some boring drama. Kyungsoo has to witness Zitao crying over his food and then eating it. Jongin was almost naked (his shoes… just… Kyungsoo has to take a breath when he sees them on the couch). Kyungsoo was almost convinced that they wouldn’t go out, which, in the end, would be the good thing of that mess, but Jongin answers a call and that’s how Kyungsoo knows he won’t be free of them so easily. 

It’s Taemin. 

“He’s in a private party, he says he can put us in,” Jongin said, sitting on the couch properly. “It’s in… fuck, it’s in Minho’s loft.”

“Choi Minho?” Sehun gapes. 

“Oh, my god,” Tao stands up and sits again. “Like… Minho, Minho. Choi Minho?”

“Yes,” Jongin yawns. “You know that they’re friends. Taemin has dozen of popular friends. Yoona is there, too, so I’m going.”

“Count me in,” Sehun nods. “I think I’m okay to leave now.”

“How does he get to have so many influent friends being an introvert,” Zitao shakes his head and he sounds a bit jealous, but also impressed. “I guess that’s what happens when a cancer is so popular.”

“Ok, let’s leave before Zitao starts the astrology rant,” Jongin stands up, stretching. “How long until you get dressed, Kyungsoo…”

Kyungsoo, still tasting the amazing omelet consistence he achieved by treating the eggs as his beloved sons, blinks hard and looks at each one of them. He finally notices that they’re matching, all in dark clothes and bit of chest out. 

“No,” he shakes his head. “I already gave you my food, isn’t that enough?”

“Not at all,” Jongin frowns. “We came here with the mission to take you out. You better get dressed.”

“I skipped a date tonight, hyung,” Sehun makes _ that  _ face. “To be with you tonight.”

Oh, no. Kyungsoo calculates how easily he can escape, but he needs to be realistic. His apartment is tiny and angular and Sehun needs about 0.3 seconds to reach Kyungsoo. 

“Fine.”

  
  
  
  
  


To protest and keep up his integrity, Kyungsoo keeps quiet the whole time while they sing some generic pop song in the car. Also, Kyungsoo is using vomit green, as a visual differentiation and representation of his spirit. Sehun’s car stop in such a luxurious place that Kyungsoo needs to contain the need of opening the door and jumping out of the car. Unfortunately, they surround him as always and he even has to talk during the elevator ride. 

It’s not that Kyungsoo hates his friends. He loves them and he wants to be close to them. But he has a problem. 

He’s not sure if this problem has a name yet. He was always a bit shy, uncomfortable with new people, but since he started is new job, things got deeper. Maybe it was because he had to spend too much time at his table by himself. Maybe it was because his friends were mostly busy, away or serving. He remembers not talking for a whole week – his voice got rougher and he was having difficult to maintain eye contact even with people in customer service. He started avoiding coworkers; he thought he was just being himself, but then he ate his food with his hands one day because he forgot to bring his chopsticks and he didn’t want to ask anyone. When his friends started to have time, getting back around, he was better, but not… sometimes he’s still… he has good and bad days. They don’t seem to understand that and they force him to leave home. Maybe they were helping him, but Kyungsoo just wanted to be alone. 

The elevator door opens and the party is already in the corridor. Familiar faces are around the corner, smoking, drinking. They dress well, nice and appropriate. Some of them smiled. It’s easy to imagine why – his friends are hot. They know how to dress. They flirt and date. 

Kyungsoo passes by the apartment door and puts on his best smile. He has to count how much energy he’s ready to spend on people before retreating. He’s not sure if it’s bad or good that Minho actually knows him and  _ likes _ him.

“I can’t believe my eyes,” he says while still hugging Sehun. “It’s that Kyungsoo…?”

“Yeah,” Jongin laughed. “Brought him with me this time.”

Minho opens his arms and Kyungsoo accepts the hug because it’s warm and soft, but it also has a heavy cost. It means that Minho will now introduce him to people, give him beers and ask about his life. Kyungsoo hates to talk about his own life. 

Kyungsoo stares at the stranger's’ face while Minho talks about the classes they had together, and he just waits for the big question: why did you stop acting? Which is just another way to ask, why did you stop chasing your dreams? And how he’s supposed to explain that it is because he’s exhausted, having terrible moods and sometimes even afraid of human interaction?

He’s lucky that they start talking about how people are just coming back to the country after years. Kyungsoo pretends he’s going to pick another beer and runs to the emptiest place he can find, a forgotten balcony, away from the smokers and chatters. He sits there and realizes it’s late at night. He’s sleepy, tired and he drinks to forget those thoughts. He leans on the balcony and looks down, to the weird lighting and cars passing. He misses his bed and a good night of sleep. He closes his eyes and lets the window play with his hair. It’s getting too warm. 

“Hello.”

Kyungsoo opens his eyes. He can recognize Taemin’s voice easily – it’s like you can hear his smile through his words. His hair is now platinum; seems like everybody is dying their hair lately. Kyungsoo isn’t a big fan of this trend, but it looks nice on the other. 

“Hello…”

“I thought Jongin was lying about you coming too,” Taemin says, walking casually to the balcony and mirroring Kyungsoo. “He sometimes gangs up with Sehun to mock me.”

“Yeah,” Kyungsoo sighs. “They do that sometimes. That’s the reason I’m here, by the way.”

Taemin laughs, leaning his head, like he always does. Kyungsoo has never seen him in a bad mood. 

“I’m sorry,” he says nodding; the wind is moving his hair away from his eyes. “I may have said I was missing you. It was a long time since I saw you.”

“Oh,” Kyungsoo lets out. He’s touched – it’s true. Kyungsoo last saw him… maybe on New Year’s Eve? “Yes… well, I’m sorry.”

“No problem,” Taemin crosses his arms. He seems to be a bit cold, he’s just using a thin button-up shirt. “I don’t want you to be uncomfortable, anyway. Show up when you feel like to.”

Kyungsoo smiles. 

“Thank you. It’s good to see you too.”

“Do you want to go and fetch something to eat?” Taemin says suddenly. “I’m hungry and people here are just drinking.”

Kyungsoo hesitates for a minute, thinking about his friends.

“Don’t worry, I warned them,” Taemin says, like he’s reading Kyungsoo’s mind. “I also want to get out of here for a while.”

Taemin even finds a route that doesn’t involve bumping into strangers, which makes Kyungsoo realize that he must have been escaping from parties for a while, and in a more effective way than Kyungsoo himself. Taemin wants to drive and Kyungsoo agrees because the summer nights are just too much for a person who hates to sweat. His car is expensive but discreet, incredibly comfortable inside and it somehow reflects his calm, but inherently chaotic aura of someone who looks soft but is  not  _ that  _ innocent. He offers candies to Kyungsoo and there’s a cute charm hanging off his mirror.

“I’m a really bad driver,” he says, smiling. Kyungsoo already knew that – Jongin once told them how he was about to convert to any religion after having a ten-hour long road trip with Taemin.

“I don’t really care,” Kyungsoo says. “I can drive instead, if you want.”

“Do you enjoy driving?”

“I don’t particularly like it or hate it,” Kyungsoo says. “I just do it.”

“I see,” Taemin says. “Let me see how you will react, then.”

He’s not a bad driver like he made Kyungsoo think he was, but he could improve a lot, especially in the curves. He stops by a corner full of small food trucks. It’s just a popular stop for people leaving work and trying to have a good time before going home, but now, late at night, feels like it’s a party. Kyungsoo unconsciously walks near Taemin, to avoid the bumping and talk to people. He apologizes when he realizes what he’s doing. 

“Sorry,” he says. “I… don’t like crowds like that.”

“No problem,” Taemin smiles brightly. “I like human contact.”

“Do you think there are churros here?” Kyungsoo asks, a bit embarrassed. “It’s been  a long time I haven’t eaten good churros.”

“Oh, I’m a big fan of churros too,” Taemin nods. “I guess we can walk a bit to see if we can find a truck.”

“Do you eat here often?” Kyungsoo asks, looking down to avoid getting his vans dirty. Taemin seems not to care about it and his white adidas are completely bruised. Kyungsoo sometimes forgets that Taemin is a dancer. 

“After work, sometimes,” he says. “I don’t like restaurants. I mean, they have good food, but I like simple things.”

“This food is very sugary and oily,” Kyungsoo warns. 

“I know,” Taemin smiles again. “That’s the good shit.”

They finally find a churro truck next to a crowded ramen spot. Kyungsoo orders a mint chocolate and some churros and Taemin asks for the same thing. 

“I’ll pay,” he says. “I stole you from Minho’s party, so it’s the least I can do.”

“You didn’t,” Kyungsoo smiles. “I really wanted to leave. I’m the one who needs to thank you.”

“But I’ll pay anyway,” he shrugs. Kyungsoo would protest, if his attention wasn’t drawn to a very recognizable laugh. That soundful laughter after a whine… Kyungsoo turns his head until he spots Jongdae. He’s standing on the front of the ramen spot, trying to balance his big cup and to sit at the same time. Kyungsoo feels a little better, because he truly likes Jongdae; he has a soft spot for him since school. Jongdae never makes him feel uncomfortable, he’s always very affectionate in a respectful way and he’s always smiling. 

“My friend is there,” Kyungsoo says absently. Taemin turns to see what Kyungsoo is talking about.

“Oh, I know him.”

“I will—” Kyungsoo gives a step back in the exact moment he realizes that Jongdae isn’t alone. Chanyeol is leaving the ramen spot, almost hitting his head on the door, occupying the space that three normal-sized people would take. He’s walking and eating, his cheeks full and his eyes widening like a too excited child. Jongdae whines about something and Chanyeol sits next to him, even if the chair is obviously too small for him. 

“Kyungsoo,” Taemin says worriedly. “Are you okay? You just froze.”

“Oh, I…” Kyungsoo turns to him, blinking. “I just saw someone I didn’t want to talk to.”

“That’s fine,” Taemin snorts. “Just angle yourself so they can’t see you. I can be your shield.”

“Thanks,” Kyungsoo says sincerely. His chocolate mint is ready so he picks it and sips, eating his churros. He can hear Chanyeol and Jongdae bickering, so he needs to talk to block them. “Do you watch any movies…?”

It was a stupid question, but Kyungsoo’s brain was red coding. 

“Sometimes,” Taemin says, munching a churro elegantly. “I tend to forget what’s going on. I was really wanting to see that movie… that everyone is talking about.”

“Moonlight…?” Kyungsoo guesses. 

“Yes,” Taemin nods. “I always watch the Oscars. I read somewhere it’s probably to be indicated.”

“I don’t watch the Oscars, but I guess so. The critics are talking a lot about it,” he says, enthusiastically. 

“We could watch it someday, what do you think…?” 

“I guess so,” Kyungsoo nods. 

“Kyungsoo! Kyungsoo,” Jongdae screams. “Oh, it’s really you!”

Kyungsoo freezes. He only got distracted for a fraction of a second and Jongdae already found him. He moves to the side and waves to Jongdae, hoping, in the bottom of his heart, that they don’t come to talk to him. Jongdae jumps off his chair. Oh-oh. 

“Your friends are coming,” Taemin whispers. “Want an escape.”

“Please,” Kyungsoo whispers between his lips, fake-smiling. “Hello, Jongdae. Nice to see you.”

“Ahh… eating churros? Cute,” Jongdae says breathless, holding his cups. He did a little run to talk to Kyungsoo and Chanyeol is reluctantly leaving his chair, far behind. “What are you doing here… I mean, eating, but here?”

“Taemin suggested,” Kyungsoo points. “Ah, Jongdae, this is Taemin.”

“Oh, I know you, right? You’re always with Jonginnie,” Jongdae says, bowing.

“Yes, you’re familiar too,” Taemin bows too. “Nice to meet you properly.”

Chanyeol walks slowly, munching and frowning. He looks like he’s eating shit. 

“Ahn, me and Kyungsoo can’t stay long,” Taemin smiles to Chanyeol. “We ran away from a party to come here. We were hungry.”

Chanyeol doesn’t say a thing. He just stares at Kyungsoo, munching, like his mother hasn’t given him any education. 

“Oh, that’s sad,” Jongdae says. “Me and Chanyeol just arrived. We were helping Baekhyun with some work stuff and we got tired.”

Chanyeol doesn’t nod. Or speak. Or does anything besides inspect Kyungsoo and Taemin with his eyes, like he’s searching for some proofs. Kyungsoo wants to punch his face – why is he being such an idiot lately? 

“Well, unfortunately we have to go,” Kyungsoo says pointedly, pushing Taemin by the arm. “It was nice to see you, Jongdae.”

Jongdae makes a confused face and stares at Chanyeol, that only frowns even harder. Taemin walks slowly after Kyungsoo; the place is getting less crowded, but someone with a sound box is playing a loud, obnoxious song, and people are walking around while eating. 

“Bye,” Taemin says, but he takes his arm away from Kyungsoo’s hold just to poke him. “Kyungsoo, you’re walking to the wrong side.”

“Ah, sorry,” he breathes out. Jongdae is still very confused and Chanyeol is not, undoubtedly, looking at Kyungsoo’s lower half and… Kyungsoo is just… furious. Does Chanyeol think that he can do whatever he wants? Kyungsoo walks faster and, pretending he’s avoiding to bump into a random guy, pushes himself to the side just when he’s passing by Chanyeol. He doesn’t look back, but he hears a sound, so he says ‘sorry’ and keeps walking. Taemin follows him in silence for a while, but when they get to the car, he asks.

“What… was that?”

Kyungsoo sighs. 

“He screwed me up and made me lose my Pilates session,” Kyungsoo says. “He’s just a big idiot. Just… forget it.”

“You made him drop his ramen,” Taemin snorts. “He looked mad.”

Kyungsoo smiles. It was a weird feeling, but good. To know he made Chanyeol pay, at least a little. Taemin watches him, amused. 

“If you want to,” he says. “I can pass by the road near to the trucks, so you can see better.”

Kyungsoo stares at him, surprised. 

“I do want to.”

Taemin smiles devilish and turns the car dangerously – it’s late, but it could put him into trouble. He’s not caring, apparently, because he drives fast. Kyungsoo opens the window and waits until they pass by the trucks. He can’t contain his smile when he sees Chanyeol pouting like a child, and Jongdae trying to calm him down. It’s comical: Chanyeol standing, arms crossed, looking at his food on the ground. Jongdae walks back to the ramen spot, and it’s probably to buy him another, but when Chanyeol looks up, it’s actually Kyungsoo’s big chance. 

Chanyeol looks at him. He looks back. 

And he raises his two middle fingers while Taemin is driving them away. 

He could paint Chanyeol’s reaction, hang on the wall and stare at it until he dies. 

“Oh my god,” Taemin is fully laughing. “I didn’t expect this from you at all.”

“He pissed me off,” Kyungsoo says, feeling the adrenaline wave. “And I really like my Pilates session.”

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Kyungsoo feels amazing for a week. No one talks about the episode and he even goes to the movies with Taemin, who is a better company than his friends because he’s quiet and observant. Kyungsoo is indeed having a good week because they approved his sketches and he’s drawing the scenes easily, with no creative block. His table is not dirty, he’s not having chatty coworkers to stop by and annoy him and even the traffic is fluid. 

It ends when he finds Seulgi waiting for him next to his table. It wasn’t supposed to be a bad omen; Seulgi was probably his only friend at work. And she even brought him coffee. The thing was the guy waiting with her. 

“Hey,” she gives him the coffee. “They made a slightly better coffee today, try it.”

“Thanks,” he accepts. “Who’s the guy?”

“Ah, I don’t know, he brought you a package,” she says, walking off. “Good work!”

“Good work for you too,” he says politely, waving, then stares at the guy. “Hmmm… How can I help you?”

“I brought a box,” he says. He’s dressed like a delivery guy and holding a paper. “I need your sign.”

Kyungsoo looks at the box and shrugs. He signs the paper and the guy leaves without another word. The package has no name on it, but it was shipped from another city. He opens it and it’s another box. He opens the other box and it’s just a cylindrical object. But in the moment Kyungsoo touches it…

It exploded. 

G L I T T E R. 

It’s everywhere. On his coffee, on his table, on his whole face, on the ground and even on other tables. Everyone in the floor is looking at him, his now glitter self, of course. Kyungsoo brings his hand to his face and wipes off the glitter – what he can, of course – and lets out a long breath. Seulgi comes back running and stares at Kyungsoo, mortified. 

“What—what the—” She mumbles and looks at him from head to toe. And that’s how she sees the paper next to Kyungsoo’s feet. She bends and picks it, shaking to take the glitter out of it. “Is that…?”

Kyungsoo takes the paper of her hand in one fast movement and Seulgi steps back, scared. It’s a regular A4 paper, printed from a regular printer too:

 

_ PARK CHANYEOL PAID REAL MONEY TO SEND YOU THAT ENVELOPE OF GLITTER. HE SAID HE HOPES THAT IT GOES EVERYWHERE AND IT RUINS YOUR DAY. HE ALSO SAID YOU HAVE A FAT ASS AND IT JIGGLES WHILE YOU WALK.  _

_ RUINTHEDAYOFYOURENEMY.COM _

 

Kyungsoo stares at it for a long, long minute. Seulgi’s eyes are wide and she’s almost on the verge of running away. People around him are still looking, now not only curious but also afraid. Kyungsoo smashes the paper and his hands and drinks a bit of the glitter coffee. 

“Now it’s war,” he says. Then he coughs, because he really drank glitter. 

  
  
  
  
  
  


Kyungsoo isn’t a person to rush things. He waits. He’s hunting. 

The first step of his plan is to not let anyone know that he’s angry. He mentions the episode to Sehun and says he found it ‘funny’. He even lies to Seulgi and says that he doesn’t care at all, even if he has to take three baths and he can even find glitter in his ass, god knows how (he hopes that he’s not pooping glitter). After a week, people really thinks that he’s totally okay. 

Step two is to talk to someone that actually can help him. He calls Taemin and asks him out. He chooses a restaurant, but nothing too fancy, that could offer Taemin the trash food he likes. 

It’s a pleasant dinner. 

“Thank you for coming,” Kyungsoo says when the waiter leaves. He hasn’t been in a place like this having company for a while. “It was very nice of you.”

“In the moment I read ‘evil plan’, you already got me,” Taemin smiles. He’s elegantly dressed, but Kyungsoo thinks it’s because he just left work. His black shirt is definitely silk and he has bb cream on. “So, I need to know how far you want to go before I start to talk.”

“I want to destroy him,” Kyungsoo says simply, getting close to the table. It’s a round one and he hates it, but the place smells so good that may get into his top ten places. “He’s being nothing but an asshole to me and he messed up with the wrong man.”

“Uhh, that was sexy,” Taemin smiled. “I need to fan myself. Sorry, I’ll try to be serious. So, you discarded basic plans.”

“Yes,” Kyungsoo says, fidgeting with the napkins. “I thought about sending him food to make him poop or just… put some things in his shampoo to make his hair fall, but to be honest this sounds childish and boring. I don’t want to feel like I’m in a comedy where a girl is getting revenge on her cheating boyfriend.”

Taemin supports his face on his hands and makes a ‘hmmmm’ sound. Kyungsoo appreciates his attention, really. 

“Does he have social media?”

“Yes,” Kyungsoo says. “Every one of them. Sehun showed me, now he updates his Instagram almost daily.”

“You need to create an account too. You need to know his routine,” Taemin says. “But especially, I think that if he humiliated you publicly, you should do the same. Eye for an eye.”

“That sounds nice,” Kyungsoo considers. “But how?”

“You should do something that makes people laugh, otherwise they will be against you,” Taemin says. “Something that makes him the joke. Harmless, but unforgettable.”

Kyungsoo nods.

“I think I can help you with something,” Taemin picks his phone and types a little. “I have this guy who knows how to steal passwords. He’s a bit expensive, but that’s important.”

“I’m willing to take money from my ‘eating out’ fund,” Kyungsoo says seriously. “I’m not going to do a mediocre job. I’m taking him down.”

“Can you stop saying things like this? You’re giving me a hard-on,” Taemin mocks, but a cough warns them that the waiter arrived and he may be listening. “Oh…”

“Thank you,” Kyungsoo says and the waiter side-eyes him before leaving. The lasagna looks beautiful on their plates. Taemin picks his phone and takes a pic. 

“Consider this a training,” he says. “Let’s talk more after eating. I have the perfect plan.”

  
  
  
  
  
  


Following Chanyeol’s Instagram is a torture. Actually, having to use that thing is a bigger torture, but having to stare at his daily stories on gym being half-naked and wet is just like hurting himself. Because Chanyeol is hot as fuck and he knows it. He flexes to the camera, films his wide shoulders and his muscular back, and the worst,  _ the worst _ , he even zooms on his tattoos and Kyungsoo wasn’t even a tattoo admirer but  _ god _ . 

At least Kyungsoo can finally get Chanyeol’s schedule and he can put the plan in action. He has to dress in his best gym clothes – the ones that were too small on him and even mess his week plan and go to a Pilates session on Saturday because Chanyeol is that gym rat. He could see Chanyeol during Fridays, but he proposedly skipped class just to make their bumping even more “accidental”. He goes to the gym and chats with Taeyeon, since it’s the better way to catch the guy’s attention; she’s always helping them in their training and Chanyeol is no exception. 

“… I was thinking about throwing a small party for her,” she says. “She’s not in a good mood lately. Is she doing ok during sessions?”

“Mostly,” Kyungsoo says, distracted. Saturday is a popular day in gym. “We want to do a small thing here for her.”

“I will talk to Yifan so we can see if we use the space. I guess we can use one of the empty rooms.”

“That would be nice…” Kyungsoo says and finally Chanyeol comes, jumping and laughing. He’s miraculously using a t-shirt that day, which helps Kyungsoo a lot, even though it’s almost sleeveless. Chanyeol is all sweaty and his expression changes completely when he sees Kyungsoo. He licks his lips and grins, like he won. Kyungsoo wants to punch that smile away from his face, but all he does is to say goodbye to talk to Taeyeon and walk to the stairs while maintaining full eye contact with Chanyeol. 

Kyungsoo walks calmly to the men’s changing room and lets the door of his stall open and free. He’s not going to change, so he just opens his bag and pretends that he’s busy. He’s not. He’s just waiting for Chanyeol to come, which happens in less than a minute because Chanyeol is just… too predictable. He leans on the bathroom stall and he’s, of course, crossing his arms and grinning because whatever happened to him brought a borderline fuckboy from inside of him and here’s Kyungsoo still wanting to grind on that creature. 

“Hello, Kyungsoo,” he says, looking down at him. His shirt is glued to his body and his sneakers are new and shiny, contrasting his tired face and wet, sweaty hair. “Long time no see. You used to be polite. You didn’t even send me a message thanking me for my gift.”

The thing with people like Chanyeol is that they weren’t born to do revenge. They don’t know how to hide and seek, they just want the reward and to feel superior. But Kyungsoo doesn’t have to fight right now, and that’s why he looks up innocently. 

“Sorry, I was busy,” he says simply. “Anyways, thank you. I’m glad you didn’t get mad at me for that day. I had a terrible night and I just lashed out on you.”

Chanyeol makes a hilarious face and Kyungsoo is glad that he’s using his glasses because that type of scene is what he wants to remember when he gets what he wants. 

“Huh?” He asks – grunts – surprised. 

“It was really funny,” Kyungsoo smiles. He  _ did not _ pay for those acting classes to throw a bad show. “It was nice of you to not pick another fight.”

Chanyeol lets his arms fall, even more confused. 

“You aren’t mad…?” 

“Not anymore,” Kyungsoo zips his bag, standing up. “I was mad that day, of course. It was a lot of glitter. I even drank some accidentally…”

Chanyeol’s brain is slowly processing the information. Perhaps he wanted to see Kyungsoo angry.

“I still don’t know why you’re mad at me,” Kyungsoo says, now sincerely. “But I hope we don’t fight anymore.”

Chanyeol looks at him and blinks. Now Kyungsoo can see some hurting on his face for some reason. 

“Yeah, I don’t want to fight,” Chanyeol agrees. “But I also don’t want to be your friend or whatever. Stop pretending you like me. It annoys me to the bones. I’m not a fake person like you.”

Kyungsoo raises an eyebrow, but just sighs. He can’t fight Chanyeol, no matter what. 

“We don’t have to be friends,” Kyungsoo says peacefully. 

“Good,” Chanyeol says, but he still looks hurt and uncomfortable. He stands straight, not knowing what to do. 

“… but that doesn’t mean that we can’t…” Kyungsoo uses his best suggestive tone. He checks Chanyeol out, slow and deliberate, and this time it’s not acting. “… get to know each other.”

He’s like a goddamn puppy, Kyungsoo thinks, watching how Chanyeol’s face lights up. The emotions are clear as water on his face when he walks in, gulping. 

“Is that a prank or something…?” 

“No,” Kyungsoo says, taking off his glasses slowly. “Maybe you like to tease, but I don’t play with things I want.”

Chanyeol seems to be taken aback with Kyungsoo’s boldness. 

“So you want to fuck?” Chanyeol asks like a kid, and he looks back to see if someone’s watching. 

“If you want to actually finish what you started,” Kyungsoo says, a bit angry. The best lies are the half-truth. “Then I would love to.”

Chanyeol skips a breath, too excited to get quiet, but Kyungsoo pushes him by the chest before he does anything. 

“Not here, you _ dumbass _ ,” Kyungsoo spits. “I already lost a Pilates session because of you, I don’t want to be kicked out of the gym too.”

“Dumbass,” Chanyeol frowns, angry. For a minute, Kyungsoo is almost sure that he fucked up and now Chanyeol will start fighting again, but Chanyeol just closes the door behind him and grabs Kyungsoo, as if he had never heard a word. Kyungsoo tenses, his arms locked between their bodies. 

“I won’t fuck you here, you hoe,” Chanyeol whispers. “If I get to put my hand on your fat ass, you better bet that I will take my damn time. This _ dumbass  _ here will give a night you won’t forget.”

Kyungsoo gets so horny that he even forgets how sweaty and dirty Chanyeol must be after a whole training session and he even smiles. These dangerous things were not supposed to make him that excited, but…

“All you do is talk,” Kyungsoo whispers slowly. “Maybe you do all this to show and leave because you can’t actually be that much as you—”

Chanyeol kisses him hard and it feels kind of aggression, but Kyungsoo kisses him back, tasting nothing but sweat. Chanyeol finally loses his hold, so Kyungsoo can properly pull him close; they’re already open mouth kissing, so messily that Chanyeol licks around his mouth in excitement. Kyungsoo bites his lip as a punition and gets a contained moan in response. The wet fabric of their clothes is rubbing unpleasantly and Kyungsoo just wanted them to be naked; he holds Chanyeol’s face to end the kiss. 

“Stop,” he breathes out. “We can’t do anything here, you brainless giraffe—”

“This is your fucking fault,” Chanyeol complains, angry whispering, still holding Kyungsoo. “You bring me here and say you want to fuck me in my face and that’s my fault? What the fuck is wrong with your shorts by the way? Are they for a twelve-year-old girl or what?”

“Get the fuck out,” Kyungsoo pushes him. “I will give my number. Now leave before you put us in trouble.”

Chanyeol reluctantly lets him go, but he kisses Kyungsoo (angrily) before he leaves the stall. 

“I already have your number,” he spits. “I asked Jongdae.”

He walks away and Kyungsoo just stays there, hoping that this mess doesn’t cost him another session. 

  
  
  
  
  


The guy who steals passwords costs a lot. Kyungsoo has to take money from his “future dogs” fund, because he’s not going to sacrifice his food for an idiot, even if that idiot is very hot. Kyungsoo is just fixing the last panels when he texts. 

 

_ park.chanyeol@ - (XXX) XXXX.XXXX – phone password. N1CK61  - Instagram password tObEn1127n92 – same email password  _

Kyungsoo breathes out. At least the guy did his job. He thanks the man and texts Taemin – he likes to send memes back to Kyungsoo, like he really believes that Kyungsoo understands them. He goes back to his work and he even misses the break, because he's mistaken some characters’ proportions and he can’t just stop working knowing he just left a big mistake. 

Seulgi stops by his table. 

“Hey,” she smiles. “Don’t you want to eat?”

“I do,” he fixes his glasses. “But I need to finish stuff. What’s good?”

“I do have good news,” she smiles and bends down to whispers. “Do you know the movie about the dogs...the script just approved?”

“Yes,” Kyungsoo nods. “Superficially.”

“They’ll do it in few months,” she says. “And they just published an open call for voice actors.”

Kyungsoo’s heart skips a breath. 

“Really?”

“Yup? There’s a poster next to the cafeteria,” she nods, smiling. “I think I’ll try. Why you don’t take a look?”

“I will,” he says, a bit lethargic. “Thank you for warning me…”

“No problem. Go eat something!”

“I will,” he says and that’s it. He lost his focus already. Kyungsoo sighs and gives up, using the excuse of needing to buy food to take at look at the poster. His table is on the third floor and the cafeteria on the first and the poster is hanging just next to the elevator. He takes a picture with his phone and keeps walking. He doesn’t want anyone to know that he’s interested. He was waiting for months to have the opportunity to try voice acting. It may be the only chance for him to act. No human presence, just him, an empty room and a character. 

Kyungsoo is more than happy to eat his mediocre wrap, but he doesn’t take things for granted. 

He keeps up with his plan. 

 

**Angry penguin @ maknae line:** _ Party at my house this Friday.  _

**Angry penguin @ maknae line:** _You can invite your friends, like, two or three._

 **Sleepy bear @ maknae line:** _are you smoking crack hyung_

**Sexy chicken @ maknae line:** _ PARTYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY _

**Panda is in love @ maknae line:** _ can we take our *things* _

**Angry penguin @ maknae line:** _ What things? _

**Sexy chicken @ maknae line:** _People we fuck, Kyungsoo._

**Angry penguin @ maknae line:** _ ah, of course.  _

 

Kyungsoo stares at his phone and smiles. 

  
  
  
  


After a long day of work and having to listen to Zitao’s emotional breakdown at lunch, Kyungsoo is more than ready. Chanyeol sends a message, which is even better, because it makes it look like Kyungsoo has no part in choosing the time and place. He needs to pretend he’s not wanting to throw up with Chanyeol’s texts full of winking emoticons and tongues, and he asks himself one or two times if he’s ready to do it. He opens his bag, stares at the little pills and sighs. It’s not like he can back up now. Kyungsoo goes home and takes a long bath (including shaving, a huge privilege for time with a fool), gets clean, perfumed and presentable. He hails a cab to the love hotel, not only because he had never been there, but also because he doesn’t want any proof that he had been there. 

He comes in and already feels the adrenaline wave. Chanyeol is just sitting at the door, reading some magazine like he’s at some dentist’s waiting room. Kyungsoo ignores him and goes straight to rent a room, paying money, of course. Chanyeol takes a good minute to realize Kyungsoo is there, so when he finally stands up Kyungsoo just has to put the keycard on his hand and keep walking. 

“Room 8,” Kyungsoo whispers, walking away like he had never seen Chanyeol in his whole life. Chanyeol does a little run to catch him and walk side by side. 

“Is that all?” Chanyeol whispers back. “You won’t say like ‘hello, baby’ or offer me a cup of coffee? You used to be nicer.”

“Shut up,” Kyungsoo rolls his eyes. “I paid for the food in your room, say thank you.”

“Thank you,” Chanyeol grunts. “I am totally not feeling like a whore.”

“I am against prostitution,” Kyungsoo says, passing the card to open the door. The lights on the corridor are low, red, and he feels like he’s in a noir movie. “You can call me daddy if that helps you.”

Kyungsoo opens the door and… well, the room is a bit better than he thought. Besides the obnoxious pink-heart-bed and the mirror on the ceiling, it looks like a regular room with poor lighting. There a small fridge and a bathroom door, so Kyungsoo isn’t complaining. He walks in and he can hear Chanyeol closing the door, so he puts his bag on the first clean place he can find – not that he’s expecting cleanliness, of course. He’s thinking about how he will get the drinks when Chanyeol backs hug him, burying his face on Kyungsoo’s neck. 

“Hmmmmmmm,” he makes a long noise, rubbing his nose on Kyungsoo’s skin. “Smelling good…”

“I took a bath,” Kyungsoo says, trying to ignore the chills. “I bet you didn’t.”

“I can take one now,” he mumbles, kissing Kyungsoo’s neck. “If you want me to.”

“No,” Kyungsoo breaks the embrace and turns to him. “I like you this way.”

“Yeah?,” Chanyeol grins and now Kyungsoo can actually see how he’s not sporting a messy hair, even if he has a jumper on like he just left home. He had no bag with him, so he probably isn’t used to love hotels or he just doesn’t care about hygiene. Maybe both. “Do you like it when I’m sweaty…?”

Kyungsoo lets Chanyeol hug him. 

“Maybe,” he says, throwing his arms over Chanyeol’s shoulder and embracing his neck, getting closer. They are almost kissing, but Kyungsoo is waiting. Chanyeol glances at his lips and his eyes and Kyungsoo just raises an eyebrow. Chanyeol takes the hint and kisses him. He’s a messy kisser, but it’s good. Kyungsoo rubs his hands on Chanyeol’s shoulders, arms, chest and only stops when  Chanyeol grabs his tights and lifts him. 

“Ow,” Kyungsoo says, holding onto him. “I’m not a bride.”

“Tiny legs,” Chanyeol complains, walking to the bed. “I’m in a hurry.”

He just throws Kyungsoo in the bed, but it’s funny. 

“Please don’t be too fast,” Kyungsoo says defiantly. “Like, you do look like one of those guys that finishes in minutes…”

Chanyeol snorts, taking off his jumper. Kyungsoo hates himself for salivating.

“You have no idea,” Chanyeol throws his jumper away without looking, and he helps Kyungsoo takes off his shirt. “You have absolutely no idea of how to shut your mouth, babe. I’m going to make you swallow your own words.”

Kyungsoo, free of his shirt, takes off his shoes and pants slowly, letting Chanyeol watch him. 

“Really?” 

“Yeah,” Chanyeol says, gulping. He’s just standing, looking down at Kyungsoo in bed. “God, I used to picture you as such a pure guy. Look at you, all shameless like that…”

“That’s because you’re a dumbass,” Kyungsoo says and he sits up to open Chanyeol’s pants. “I was never pure…”

Chanyeol is not using anything under his pants, but that’s no surprise. He’s already getting hard and he moves Kyungsoo’s hand to take off his shoes himself. 

“Take it off,” Chanyeol says to Kyungsoo, pointing at his black underwear.

“Don’t you want to do that…?” Kyungsoo says, turning to lay on his side and give him a back view. He can  _ hear _ Chanyeol’s breath getting faster. The room smells like artificial strawberry and Kyungsoo isn’t even paying attention to that. 

“Fuck,” Chanyeol’s breathes out, his hands pushing Kyungsoo’s hips up, sliding off the soft fabric of the underwear. Chanyeol rubs his hands on Kyungsoo’s skin more than taking off the the underwear, but in the end, both are naked. Kyungsoo is hard and he knows this is the moment he’s supposed to offer Chanyeol a drink, this is the moment, but he’s too horny for that. He can give Chanyeol the pill after some action. 

Chanyeol finally gets on the bed, laying down over Kyungsoo to kiss him. Kyungsoo’s heart is beating way too fast and he grabs Chanyeol’s waist to pull him down. Chanyeol moves up and down, making their erection rub on each other, but he doesn’t stop kissing, arms on each side of Kyungsoo’s torso. They stay like that for a good few minutes, before Kyungsoo reaches his limit of just kiss – what the hell is that dumbass doing. He pushes Chanyeol’s away from him and of course, Chanyeol dramatically rolls to the other side of the bed. 

“Fuck,” he mumbles. “Don’t be mean.”

“I’m not,” Kyungsoo says, moving to settle between his legs. “You’re going to thank me.”

Chanyeol stars at him expectantly, watching how Kyungsoo grabs his dick and bends over it. Kyungsoo lets his saliva fall slowly from his mouth and keeps jerking him off while doing it. Kyungsoo is putting on a show of it, and he licks one preeminent vein next to the glans, looking straight to Chanyeol’s eyes. He’s swearing and babbling some things Kyungsoo can’t hear right, so Kyungsoo puts everything he can in his mouth and enjoys how Chanyeol’s hip move in response. 

“Look at you,” he whispers, almost breathless and Kyungsoo doesn’t even bother to stop. “You do this shit like you’re used to, you’re really a horny bitch, aren’t you?”

Kyungsoo licks him quiet, grabbing his balls. He groans and Kyungsoo can feel his dick growing between fingers and tongue. It doesn’t last much, because Chanyeol seems not to enjoy staying quiet. He sits up and pulls Kyungsoo hair to make him stop. Kyungsoo moans loud, saliva dripping down his chin.  

“In fours,” Chanyeol says impatiently, manhandling Kyungsoo. “I’m going to give what you deserve.”

“You better,” Kyungsoo says and he does as he’s told, but only because he’s needing to put an end to this. He’s really horny and he rubs the soft fabric of the bedsheet to calm himself down pushing his hips up and almost laying his face on the bed. There’s a mirror parallel to them and he can watch perfectly Chanyeol grabbing his butt, sliding his fingers between the ass cheeks while he looks so hard that it seems like it must be hurting. 

“I’m going to lick you, babe, is that okay?”

“Yeah,” he breathes out. “More than okay.”

Kyungsoo can’t help but touch himself when he feels the tongue fucking him. His thighs are trembling and he lets out an embarrassing moan, so Chanyeol stops for a second to snort.  

“Fuck you, are you a snake…” Kyungsoo complains, jerking himself off even faster. “How long is that fucking tongue…”

Chanyeol stops fucking him and slaps Kyungsoo’s ass hard. 

“Don’t fucking come,” he says and he backs up, leaving the bed. “I’m only letting you do it while you’re sitting on my dick.”

“Then be quick, you stupid ass—” Kyungsoo looks back and Chanyeol slaps him again.

“Watch your mouth,” he snorts. Kyungsoo can see, through the mirror, he picking his pants to take off condoms and a tiny sack of lube. 

“No way you think that is enough,” Kyungsoo spits. “There’s lube in the fridge…”

Chanyeol walks to the fridge and opens it, checking if Kyungsoo is saying the truth. Kyungsoo jerks himself watching his long body just standing – it feels like a painting, him, standing like that, in front of the velvet wallpaper on the walls. Good lord, he’s hot. 

Chanyeol holds the bottle and turns to Kyungsoo, lifting one eyebrow suspiciously. 

“Did you come here before?”

“This is none of your business,” Kyungsoo almost howls. “This is a trick for slippery sex, now get your ass over here, I won’t be on my knees forever.”

“You don’t have to,” Chanyeol rushes, jumping on the bed. He kneels and holds Kyungsoo by the waist, turning him. “What’s the point of having a mirror in the ceiling if you can’t watch yourself  being fucked?”

That’s a good point, Kyungsoo thinks, allowing Chanyeol to hold his legs open and sit between them. 

“Lift your hips for me,” he says in a low voice at the same time he’s opening the condom with his mouth and Kyungsoo gets chills, too horny even to say something. His mouth is watering watching how he puts on the condom, anticipating and sweating. Chanyeol makes a mess of lube, dripping on his fingers, bed and Kyungsoo’s balls before he even gets to finger Kyungsoo. 

“Fuck,” Kyungsoo moans. “Is this just one finger?”

“I can put as much as you want,” Chanyeol says softly, his eyes shining under the low light. His hair is also messy and he looks… soft. “But yes, I’m sorry if I have a big hand, but it will get worse…”

“You’re so full of yourself,” Kyungsoo says, disgusted and horny. “Don’t make me punch—”

He slides in another finger, grinning.

“You’re so cute…” he says, weirdly fond. 

“Fuck you, don’t call me cute while you—”

A third one. Kyungsoo presses his head down on the pillow and he looks up. He can watch, only in the mirror, how Chanyeol stops fingering him, sliding off his fingers. He closes his eyes, gulping, and when he opens them again he can see only a huge back over him. Chanyeol kisses him briefly, but rests his face on Kyungsoo’s shoulder after.

“Holy shit,” Kyungsoo screams, because Chanyeol didn’t even warn him. 

“Shhhh,” Chanyeol whispers. “I won’t move.”

Kyungsoo breathes through his mouth, feeling his dick sink in slowly, but he can feel every inch. He holds Chanyeol’s arm and in the mirror, he can see his legs around him. 

“Can I—”

“Yes,” Kyungsoo says, straight on his ear. “Go on.”

Kyungsoo has to hold tight on him, because Chanyeol isn’t kidding; he pounds into him restlessly, hard, groaning like fucking animal mating. Kyungsoo moans too, because what else he can do. It feels like an exorcism should feel like, it’s like something is ripping him and trying to take something out of him. There’s this wet noise that is nasty and pleasant at the same time and Kyungsoo bites any skin he can find because he wants to hurt Chanyeol in some way. 

“You have no idea,” Chanyeol says, a breathy groan, “how much I wanted that.”

Kyungsoo can barely breathe, so he just throws his head back and watches the scene. He didn’t notice that he was scratching Chanyeol’s back until he sees the red marks on the reflection. He pushes Chanyeol away so he can touch himself, and he can see through the mirror, Chanyeol sticking in and out of him, now pointedly, not that fast. Kyungsoo keeps the image in his head: the two of them in that bed, pink sheets, velvet around them, messed sheets and clothes hanging around. He breathes out and lets Chanyeol fuck his orgasm out.

It was better than he thought. 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Kyungsoo stares at the pills. He didn’t need them; Chanyeol slept by himself, few minutes after the second round. Kyungsoo exhausted him; made the gym exercise looks like a child’s run. He was sated too and had a deep, heavy sleep. Kyungsoo keeps the pills in his bag and takes out the paper. It was the same style form the one that came with the glitter bomb. 

Before Kyungsoo uses it, he takes Chanyeol’s phone and puts on the password. He opens every little file in Chanyeol’s phone gallery, his internet history and his group messages, filming with his own phone. After that, he takes the paper and walks to the bed, angling it, with Chanyeol’s naked body, in a way that the paper covers his crotch. 

He takes a picture.

It looks nice. Chanyeol, lying naked over the pink sheets, hickeys and marks in plain sight, being covered by a printed a4 paper, where it could be read:

_ SOMEONE PAID REAL MONEY TO TAKE PARK CHANYEOL TO A LOVE HOTEL BUT THE RESULT WAS SADLY DISAPPOINTING. I GUESS BIG THINGS ARE NOT NECESSARILY THE MOST EFFECTIVE.  _

 

Kyungsoo keeps his things in the bag, and watching himself on the side mirror, already bathed and in new, different clothes, take a last look at Chanyeol sleeping. 

  
  
  
  
  


Friday is his day. 

 

He submitted the form to take a vocal test to the principal role of the upcoming movie. Normally, he would look for a small role, but this time he was feeling a lot more confident. He even chatted with two or more coworkers and brought Seulgi a warm cup of coffee because she deserves. He skipped gym, not only because his whole body was hurting, but also because he was avoiding Chanyeol. He sent Kyungsoo a meme in the morning with a frog Muppet and dozens of heart emojis and Kyungsoo had no idea of what that meant. 

And Kyungsoo was just one step closer to his goal. When his shift was over, he kept his things and sat on his chair with his phone. He opened the Instagram app and typed Chanyeol’s username and password. He was a bit curious and checked few things, but nothing was too interesting (apparently many people commented they wanted to bang him, what made Kyungsoo feel a bit cocky about it). Then, he posted the pic and logged out immediately, now using his own fake user to enjoy the reactions. 

After many ‘lol’, ‘wtf’, and ‘chanyeol got hacked’, Kyungsoo left. 

 

Now, he was  going home to meet his friends and have the best party ever. Zitao and Sehun were already waiting for him at the door. They aren’t that well dressed, but they look fine; Sehun is holding a box of beers and Tao has a champagne bottle popping out of his Chanel bag. 

“Hello,” Kyungsoo says, opening the door. “Get yourself comfortable.”

“Why are you in such a good mood lately…?” Sehun asks and he doesn’t wait a minute to push Kyungsoo’s furniture to give more space to the room. 

“Like Kyungsoo would tell us,” Zitao says, keeping the booze. “You know we won’t find out until he wants us to.”

“You can put makeup on me if you want,” Kyungsoo says to Zitao. His friends share a worried look. 

“Now I’m really worried,” Sehun says. 

But nothing is out of control. After Tao is done with Kyungsoo, some of their friends arrive. Kyungsoo even talks to some of them and drinks a beer. Kyungsoo gets slightly tensed when he sees Jongdae arriving, but he came with Tao – he’s the guy Tao tells him bad shit about and then pretends that nothing happens, which is hilarious since the Chanyeol thing. Amber and Taemin are talking on the kitchen when Kyungsoo approaches them:

“Can I talk to him for just a second?” Kyungsoo asks. 

“He’s all yours,” Amber laughs, drinking a beer. “We were just talking about Chanyeol’s account being hacked.”

“Oh,” Kyungsoo gives his best acting show, pretending he’s a bit surprised. “Really?”

“You haven’t seen, Kyungsoo?” Jongin joins them with his phone in his hands. “It was hilarious.  I know hyung was fooling around, but this time he got screwed up.”

Kyungsoo stares at the phone screen, widening his eyes. 

“Oh, okay,” he snorts. “That’s kind of funny.”

“I know that love hotel,” Amber says. “Poor Chanyeol. They didn’t have to do him that way.” 

Kyungsoo sips a bit of his drink and smiles. Taemin smiles back and winks, excusing himself for stealing Kyungsoo, now. They get to Kyungsoo’s room and even before Kyungsoo closes the door, they’re already laughing.

“I can believe you,” Taemin laughs. “You’re such a great actor. You almost convinced me…”

“It was so easy,” Kyungsoo says. “He didn’t even suspect of a thing.”

“How did you made him accept the drink?” Taemin asks. He looks… impressed. Kyungsoo doesn’t remember the last time he saw such admiration in other person’s eyes. 

“I just offered,” Kyungsoo lies, pushing his turtleneck unconsciously. He has been wearing big clothes since he left the love hotel to hide the marks. “It was simple.”

“God, that was so fun,” Taemin says. “If you want to get revenge on anyone else, count me in.”

“No problem,” his phone rings. “Go back there, don’t let people see we’re here.”

“Fine,” Taemin nods. “But you’ll have to tell me everything later.”

“Okay,” Kyungsoo nods and lets him go. He sits on his bed alone and ignores his phone for long minutes, but it’s so insistent that he checks who’s calling. 

_ Chanyeol.  _ Or, how is he saved on his phone,  _ dumbass _ . 

Kyungsoo thinks about not answering, but he’s almost sure this is going to be the funniest part. 

“Hello.”

“ _ Kyungsoo,” _ Chanyeol says slowly and threatening. “ _ I am in front of your building and I swear if you don’t get down here and talk to me, I’ll invade your house and we will be on the news tomorrow.” _

“Uhh,” Kyungsoo mocks. “What are you so mad about?”

“ _ Fuck you know exactly why, fuck, I knew you were a fake bitch, argh,” _ he swears for a good minute. “ _ Be a man and come face me you—” _

“Calm the fuck down,” Kyungsoo sighs. “I’m coming.”

Kyungsoo isn’t afraid of Chanyeol, even if the situation looks pretty dangerous. He leaves the party in silence, because it’s better if they stop this mess before messier things happen. When he walks out of his building he sees Chanyeol standing, arms crossed and pouting like a little child. How a man of this size can be that cute, Kyungsoo has no idea.

“Hello,” Kyungsoo says cordially. 

“You asshole,” Chanyeol walks to him, red and angry. He shoves his phone on Kyungsoo’s face. “What the hell is that?”

“Didn’t you take the picture down?” Kyungsoo wants to laugh. 

“I did, you old ass, this is a fucking print,” he says and he gets even close, so Kyungsoo walks back just a step. “Tell me, you—"

“I just wanted to get back at you,” Kyungsoo says calmly. It’s a warm night, but it seems that Chanyeol is using the same strategy as him, hidden in a giant jumper. “That’s all.”

There are people passing by a few meters of them, Kyungsoo can hear the music on his own apartment, but somehow it feels like a heavy silence. Chanyeol looks hurt, angry and incredulous at the same time. 

“Well you did,” he says, resigned. “Are you happy, now?”

“No,” Kyungsoo says, serious. “I wished nothing of this had happened. You’re the one who started this mess. I never treated you wrong.”

Chanyeol lets out a sad laugh, letting his arms fall. He looks around before staring at Kyungsoo’s eyes. 

“Well, you pretended you liked me, which is worse,” he says and he sounds truly disgusted. “I wished you punched me instead of giving me fake smiles. I prefer the truth.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Kyungsoo frowns. “I didn’t lie to you.”

Chanyeol sighs heavily. 

“You said you wanted the fight to be over,” he spits. “How isn’t that a lie.”

“It’s not,” Kyungsoo argues. “I have every information in your phone. If you try to keep this stupid little war, I’ll expose you.”

Chanyeol gapes and he seems so surprised that he gives a step back. Somewhere else, someone is laughing hard, which seems to a sad, ironic soundtrack.

“I didn’t want to do that,” Kyungsoo says sincerely. “But I hate fighting, so I’m protecting myself. Let’s pretend nothing happened and just ignore each other before anyone gets hurt.”

Chanyeol looks down and says nothing. He’s moving his mouth like he’s trying to say something. 

“Before anyone gets hurt, huh,” Chanyeol mumbles, still not looking at Kyungsoo. His voice sounds weird and at this point Kyungsoo is expecting anything – even a punch, what, at this point, he thinks he deserves. But Chanyeol just shrugs and looks up, exposing his teary eyes. “A bit too late for that, I think.”

Chanyeol walks away and Kyungsoo keeps standing there, a beer in hand, no reaction at all. He watches Chanyeol leaving in longs steps, his long figure shrinking, becoming more distant, while people pass by laughing and eating, making happy little sounds. 

There’s something in his mouth that tastes bad. He licks his lips and can feel anything but victory.

 

.

 


	3. pluto afflicted

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chanyeol lets Kyungsoo pets his hair slowly.
> 
> “Good boy.”

  
  


Chanyeol is a bit confused when he wakes up.

He stares at his ceiling, rubs his face and moves in bed many times. It’s too warm to use sheets, but the fan is working just fine. He takes a while to sit on the bed and he mostly does it because he can hear his stomach screaming. He looks around and he feels like he’s truly forgetting something. He has a monster hangover and he shouldn’t be drinking, but he was spending too many sad nights at the gym and he just needed a party – Baekhyun got him inside a fancy party and people really loved his ‘street style’ or whatever name they put it. Sehun was there and of course, they thought Chanyeol was also a model so they kept offering him free drinks. If Taeyeon finds out that he drank that much, she’s going to punch one of his teeth away from his mouth.

Chanyeol’s cell phone starts to ring and it’s his ‘first meal of the day!!!’ alarm. He puts the phone on the charger, puts on his clothes and walks to the kitchen while scratching his chest. Why is he stinking? Did he throw up?

Jongdae is eating a sandwich as always. He’s in his house clothes, the ones that look three sizes bigger than him. Chanyeol grunts a good morning and he’s surprised to see that Jongdae already made his protein shake. Chanyeol stares at him; Jongdae stares back, munching with his full cheeks like a squirrel.

“What happened?” Chanyeol frowns. “You’re at home during the weekend and now you’re making me breakfast?”

“I thought your protein shake was flavored milk powder,” Jongdae says, wiping his mouth. “The strawberries got me confused. So now it’s done.”

“Well, thank you, anyway,” Chanyeol pours the shake in a big cup until the blender is empty. “I’m going to make porridge. Do you want some?”

“Why do you offer me it every day,” Jongdae laughs. “I hate porridge.”

“To maybe you get some meat in those bones,” Chanyeol says, then drinks the whole cup. Jongdae remains unbothered while Chanyeol cooks his breakfast, munching and typing on his phone. Chanyeol sits at the table with his bowl of porridge and stares at him. Jongdae has been always a bit secretive about his things, but it bothers Chanyeol how he doesn’t answer simple questions.

“Where’s your boyfriend?”

“If you mean Zitao,” Jongdae says and he doesn’t spare Chanyeol a look. “He’s not exactly my boyfriend and I don’t have to spend every weekend with him.”

“So you’re free today?” Chanyeol focuses only on the good things.

“Kind of,” Jongdae drinks his coffee. “Why?”

“I’m going to buy my bike,” Chanyeol munches. “I mean, I’m aiming for a classic blue vespa. It’s super cute but fast too.”

“Are you going to buy a vespa?” Jongdae doesn’t seem happy at all. This is… very atypical. The entire day is feeling weird.

“Yeah, why? You don’t like them…?”

“I do, actually,” Jongdae puts his cup (a shiny, pink, plastic cup from a kid’s birthday) on the table. “But you’re acting weird lately.”

Chanyeol gapes so widely that the porridge drips down his cheek.

“Me?,” Chanyeol mumbles. “ _ I _ am the one acting weird?”

“Yeah,” Jongdae nods and even the poor lighting of the kitchen doesn’t fool Chanyeol – he’s serious. “But you already did a tattoo this week—”

“Oh, fuck,” Chanyeol snaps his fingers. “So that’s what I forgot! I need to put some cream on my tattoo.”

“You also shouldn’t be drinking. It will be hard to heal it,” Jongdae sighs. “But I wasn’t talking about that. You’re doing tattoos, drinking and now having one-night stands?”

Chanyeol blinks. Oh.

“… So that… that was what I forgot,” he gulped, sitting straight on the chair. “I brought a guy home, right?”

“Yes, you did. He looked underage, so I checked his ID before I let him go,” Jongdae shakes his head, clearly judging Chanyeol. He’s good at doing this face. “What’s going on, friend?”

“I… in a new phase of my life. I guess I’m trying to create some passing rituals,” Chanyeol says, all serious. “In some places they let a guy be sting by bees to prove he’s a real man, you know?”

“I would believe that if it was only the tattoo,” Sehun’s voice comes from nowhere and Chanyeol almost falls from his chair. He appears in the kitchen, all dressed up, eating a sandwich. “Maybe the Vespa, because you do need something fast, but the dude? Uh-uh.”

“What the fuck…” Chanyeol looks at Jongdae.

“He came straight from the airport and he wanted food,” Jongdae smiles, shrugging. “By the way, I agree? One-night stand is just… not you, man. You never did it before. And you know the worst part? I know it. I know your sexual history, Chanyeol. This is how long we have been together as friends.”

“If Sehun wants food, he can buy it,” Chanyeol complains and he wipes his chin and eats his porridge angrily. He’s not a fan of people analyzing him. “Also, I can have sex once in a while.”

“With no feelings…?” Sehun leans on the wall – he was probably working, because he has makeup on and it looks like there will be a magazine cover.

“Yes,” Chanyeol says slowly. “I can.”

“Is this about that Instagram thing…?” Jongdae asks, narrowing his eyes. “I mean, it was funny, Chanyeol. No one thinks you’re a bad fuck. We know you have been trolled.”

Chanyeol stops eating, and he almost throws his spoon on Jongdae’s face. Sehun snorts and he spits something.

“First, of course everybody knows that I’m not a bad fuck, because I’m  _ amazing _ in bed,” he spits. “Second, I can always do casual things.”

Sehun and Jongdae laugh at the same time. Chanyeol just stares at them, speechless.

“You get funnier every day, hyung,” Sehun licks his lips.

“What?” Chanyeol almost stands up. This day was supposed to be great.

“Chanyeol, you can’t do casual things to save your life,” Jongdae reclines in his chair and now Chanyeol realizes that his friend is using one of his shirts. “You and casual are antonyms.”

“True, hyung,” Sehun agrees. “I could never imagine you doing something superficial, ever. You’re… obsessed with stuff.”

“No, I’m not,” Chanyeol pouts.

“Chanyeol, remember when you got in your mind that you wanted to learn to play guitar and you were almost expelled from school because you couldn’t simply talk about anything else?” Jongdae asks simply. “Or when you wanted to speak Japanese? To have more friends…? How many times this week you talked about your training?”

“I was in another country and he sent me like… five messages,” Sehun snorts. “I even know his leg workout.”

“I was trying to help you because you look like a Dorito,” Chanyeol almost screams.

“So…” Jongdae brutally ignores Chanyeol. “We can see you’re using bad coping methods to deal with that situation, friend. So maybe, since we’re here… instead of fucking, drinking until passing out and doing tattoos out of nowhere… you could try to… talk?”

Chanyeol looks at both of them, offended and confused. He’s outnumbered and exposed – he wasn’t expecting that early in the morning. He grunts and moves in his chair.

“Fine,” Chanyeol says. “Do you want to listen?”

“Yup,” Jongdae nods.

“I’m already here, so…” Sehun shrugs.

“Yes, I am mad because of what happened. But  _ not _ because someone broke my trust and took that picture after a, if I may say,  _ phenomenal _ night of intense sex,” Chanyeol says slowly, moving his hands. “It wasn’t because of what happened, but because of  _ who _ did it.”

“I thought it was another one-night stand,” Sehun frowns.

“No, unfortunately, Jongdae was right,” Chanyeol sighs. “It was a friend of mine. A friend of ours.”

“I knew it,” Jongdae slaps the table. “Tell who it was.”

Chanyeol takes a breath.

“It was…” he gulps. “Kyungsoo.”

Sehun and Jongdae exchange glances before they explode in laughter. Sehun even bends, laughing so hard he can’t even stand right. Jongdae screams in the middle of his weird giggling, like he can’t express his full feelings just with his laughs.

“Not again,” Chanyeol. He tried hard to tell people the truth but they simply… didn’t believe him. Not even his own sister. Not Baekhyun. Not Yixing.

“Can you imagine…” Sehun mumbles, gasping for air. “Kyungsoo… hyung… oh… that’s too much…”

“Ok, I’m not even mad that you’re lying,” Jongdae says, wiping his eyes. “Because it was really fun to picture that.”

“I’m not lying,” Chanyeol whines. “See? That’s why I don’t tell you guys stuff.”

Sehun is still laughing and Jongdae is just staring at him, grinning. Chanyeol grabs his bowl and drinks the porridge, before grabbing his sandwich and standing.

“I’ll buy my Vespa on my own,” he says, almost pouting. “I don’t need fake friends to help me.”

“Chanyeol…” Jongdae frowns, but Chanyeol just leaves the kitchen and locks himself in his room. He sits on his bed and looks around. He’s… really sad. He wouldn’t tell Jongdae that maybe… he’s really trying to cope with Kyungsoo’s betrayal. He was so… dumb. He really thought that Kyungsoo was into him and they could maybe… start a relationship, even if it was only a sex thing. It was definitely the best lay in Chanyeol’s whole life. And then… he found out it was just a big joke.

No matter how much he’s trying lately, it seems that people only sees him as a clown. Or worse, they reject him. He wants to be taken seriously. He wants to… get revenge… but Kyungsoo was definitely smarter than him in dark arts. Chanyeol doesn’t even stand a chance against a focused introvert.

He sighs and reaches to the nightstand to pick his cream. He applies over his arm tattoo and grabs his phone.

He opens the google tab and types:  _ what’s the better way to get revenge? _

A meme appears. It’s a woman’s face with heavy make-up, written on it:

_ The best form of revenge is a good body. _

Chanyeol looks up. Well, that’s a good advice.

 

 

.

He feels the wind on his face and he’s not even in a hurry to stop yet. Chanyeol wanted to sit down somewhere, read, eat  good food and to be away from people just for one day. It’s not like he’s tired of people – he just needs to feel like he’s breaking away for a while. He would like to do these things with friends, of course, but he wants to put on some space between them too. He feels overwhelmed, like everything is going too fast, too strong and he’s wasting time at the same time.

Chanyeol only stops at the beach, even if he’s a bit tired. He parks his new beloved Vespa at a safe place before walking down, watching how beautiful the day is. He takes off his shirt and breathes out, looking at the people and smiling. Then he buys an ice-cream and takes a selca, smiling.

_ happy to be free! such a nice view~~ _

He waits for the comments while he’s eating his ice-cream.  _ ‘a nice view indeed ;O’, ‘hey, gorgeous!!!!!’, ‘call me’,  _ and some inappropriate and honestly confusing comments (what “SED%RFTYVUBHNIJDXCFVG” is supposed to mean?). Chanyeol feels a bit better just by reading them. He’s not even that fan of beaches, but the warm weather and the nice words make up for it.

Unfortunately, his weekdays aren’t that aesthetical. He has lots of work to do – even if Steph finds his Vespa “the cutest thing ever” and record a video of him posing on it – and it’s mostly boring. Chanyeol likes to do playlists and to organize the music files, but when the music is… good. They put him to do the “sad oldies” setlist and he has a hard time only by listening them. Also, he gets to do paperwork and coffee, two things he’s not very fond of. Even the celebrities around are just… athletes and people that he doesn’t know. To complete his really boring week, Taeyeon sends him back to basic training when she finds out that he drank and skipped his diet. He needs to block her on Instagram.

Then it’s Friday and Chanyeol is so deeply immersed in his eventless week that he even forgets  _ why _ he works out on Friday morning. He’s jumping rope, HyunA’s new album blasting on his Ipod, when he sees Kyungsoo, walking and holding his water bottle absently. Chanyeol holds a breath, then lets it go and pretends that he didn’t see a thing. They “agreed” on ignoring each other and Chanyeol isn’t in the mood for more fighting. He stares at his front and keeps doing his training. He doesn’t see Kyungsoo leaving, because he spends the rest of time rubbing around the gym with his colleagues.

To avoid being punished again, Chanyeol spends his weekend working – he needs more money after spending so much on his Vespa. Once in a while, he takes a pic. On the next week, Jongdae records him during training and Chanyeol gains 1k followers in a day.

“You’re becoming instafamous,” Jongdae laughs. They are watching Guardians of the Galaxy on the television and Jongdae is eating popcorn, but Chanyeol is eating his sacred porridge. “I guess those guns have some use, after all.”

“They have plenty of uses,” Chanyeol mumbles. Their place is a mess, Jongdae is using the same hello kitty socks for three days and they’re twenty-somethings that can’t go out and have fun, but besides that, he’s almost living a normal life after the incident. People don’t make jokes anymore; they barely comment about the picture.

“We should celebrate that.”

“Yeah, Taeyeon would love to come and punch my guts,” Chanyeol pouts. “I need to focus on my—”

Jongdae puts a hand on Chanyeol’s shoulder and stares at him.

“No,” he says seriously. “Please don’t make me listen to your training again.”

“Fuck you,” Chanyeol says and he finishes his porridge. Jongdae gives him the empty popcorn bowl and Chanyeol sighs, but he goes to the kitchen to wash the dishes anyway. He’s not even interested in the movie. Lately all he can think about is how much he wants to be at gym or to be promoted at work. He puts on a song to distract himself, but when he’s enthusiastically singing the chorus, his phone interrupts the song because of a message.

“Okay, who is this mother—” Chanyeol grunts, picking his phone with wet hands.

 

**The worst hot ass** _ just so you know _

**The worst hot ass** _ I deleted the video _

**The worst hot ass** _  you don’t have to worry. _

__

Chanyeol stares at the phone screen, gaping, for a whole two minutes. Jongdae whines to Chanyeol, warning him about the movie and he puts on his best bored face to pretend nothing happened at all. When he goes to bed, he thinks about dozens of answers, but he doesn’t send anything. After all, even a  _ thanks for nothing, asshole  _ would tell Kyungsoo that he cares. Kyungsoo himself asked to be ignored, so this is what Chanyeol will do.

He can’t sleep early, so he watches the sunrise from his window, enjoying the only time of the day that is a bit cold. Then, he eats his meal and lays in bed, trying to forget all that mess.

 

 

Apparently, Jongdae and Zitao are still a thing and Chanyeol finds that out when he’s coming home in the middle of the week. Zitao is sitting on the couch, drinking tea, still looking flawless as always and Jongdae isn’t in his “study until death” daily routine.

“Good… evening,” Chanyeol says, confused.

“Good evening,” Zitao smiles, waving. “I can’t believe I’m meeting an Instagram celebrity! Can I touch your biceps?”

Jongdae snorts and Chanyeol takes his coat off.

“Of course, you can,” Chanyeol flexes. “But I don’t mess with my friends’ things. I’ll go to my room so I can give you guys privacy…”

“No need,” Jongdae sits on the couch too, also holding a tea mug. “We’re just talking. Pretend that we’re not here.”

“So I can walk naked…?” Chanyeol frowns.

“No,” Jongdae laughs. “Not that much.”

“Or maybe you can convince Jongdae to come with me to a cute restaurant to eat pies,” Zitao says, moving his tea bag. “And you can come with us. My friends will be there too.”

Jongdae frowns at him and Chanyeol knows that face very well – it’s his ‘ _ uuuhhh don’t talk about that _ ’ face. Chanyeol drops his bag on the floor and stares at him in disbelief.

“What?”

“Ah.…” Zitao says, sounding very condescending. “Chanyeol can’t come because he doesn’t like Kyungsoo and you won’t come because you don’t want to deal with Baekhyun and Yixing. Honestly, dealing with your friend’s circle is just like walking through a minefield.”

Chanyeol is overwhelmed with the level of “tea spelling” (now he knows what that means). He makes many gestures to truly express his surprise and indignancy.

“Sorry,” Jongdae says. “But everyone knows you’re not in good terms with Kyungsoo. And Jongin as well, though I think it’s because they are best friends. So, it’s not like I told him…”

Chanyeol sighs.

“How about you and Baekhyun? How the fuck I didn’t know about that?”

“We haven’t fought,” Jongdae looks away. “It’s just tiring being around him lately.”

Chanyeol doesn’t disagree – Baekhyun is working too hard, just like him, but differently from Chanyeol, he’s in a relationship, so it’s easy to feel like you’re not  _ that _ important when all he does is to work and to be with his boyfriend. But that’s not a reason to avoid him.

“You know what,” Chanyeol shrugs. “I’m going to my room to take a nap. Have fun you two…”

He ignores Jongdae’s whining, mostly because he’s tired. Chanyeol doesn’t care if people know that he and Kyungsoo aren’t friends anymore. Actually, it makes him feel a bit better – at least now everybody knows that Kyungsoo doesn’t like him and then, Chanyeol doesn’t have to act like a fool, crying for his attention. It’s for the best, anyway, to let everyone know. No one will accidentally put them together in the same room.

Or maybe not.

 

 

 

 

 

Chanyeol enters the gym on the Friday and he sees Jongdae; some people around him are using casual clothes and others seem to be in the middle of their work out but no one is actually training. Chanyeol walks in cautiously and approach the little group. He can’t simply go to places without being noticed, of course – Nature made him like that, - but he tries to not interrupt their conversation.

“… _ Taeyeon is bringing the cake in ten minutes so I sent Hyo to distract her,” _ Yifan whispers to the group. He’s bent, trying to hide himself and he’s successful, because Chanyeol barely saw him.

“What’s happening,” he whispers to Jongdae.

“Oh, Chanyeol,” Jongdae laughed. “It’s Seohyun’s surprise birthday party.”

“I thought her birthday was weeks ago,” Chanyeol frowns. “She invited me to a party.”

“Yeah, it was,” Jongdae nods. He looks even smaller in his gym clothes. “But see… that’s the spirit of a surprise party. No one is really expecting it…”

“Shut up you two,” Yifan narrows his eye. “Everybody pretends to be doing normal stuff. Hyo is going to bring her here when Taeyeon comes and at my signal… what’s my signal?”

“You’re going to say  _ what’s up? _ ” a random dude almost screams.

“Shut the fuck up,” Yifan slaps his head. “But yes, when I say so, we start to sing happy birthday. Everybody got it?”

“Yes,” the entire group scream, but Jongdae’s voice, as always, reaches an impossible high note and stands up.

“Now go do your thing,” Yifan claps. Chanyeol, at this point, is confused of what exactly was his first step, so he just warms up. Jongdae is carrying a sand bag, but it’s not a big bag and Chanyeol records it because it’s hilarious. When he’s focusing on Jongdae, he watches through his camera, the exact moment that Kyungsoo approaches his friend, interrupting the training. Chanyeol freezes. He can’t hear what they are talking, so he just keeps his phone in the pocket and goes back to his training – in his mind, he’s repeating,  _ don’t look, don’t look, don’t look _ .

It’s so effective that he misses Taeyeon’s triumphant arrival and he almost falls on the ground when Yifan screams  _ What’s up.  _ Seohyun – her name is Juhyun but Chanyeol prefers her nickname, otherwise he keeps mistaking her for Juhyun-noona, the one who’s always with Seungwan, - is definitely scared, but she smiles when people starts to sing Happy Birthday. She’s next to Hyo and Kyungsoo and that’s how Chanyeol realizes she also does Pilates, not only boxing. He’s suddenly happy that he skipped her actual birthday party.

Her cake is giant and Chanyeol is salivating, but… he can’t—

“Maybe today,” Taeyeon approaches him. “Only today you can eat a piece of cake.”

“Can I?” Chanyeol turns to her, eyes shining.

“Yeah, it’s better. You’re scaring the hell out of me doing this hungry face.”

“Thank you so much,” Chanyeol almost runs to the table. He takes a generous slice of the cake and sits on the ground to eat, like pretty much everyone else. It’s been a while since he tasted a delicious cake like this one. He eats savagely and he’s sure there’s even Chantilly on his nose, but he’s not caring.

Someone offers him a tissue.

“Thank you,” Chanyeol says, wiping his face. “I’m really hungry for it.”

“Restrictive diets aren’t good,” Kyungsoo says nonchalantly. “They focus on the food and not the reason why people are having this specifically hunger, so in the moment of the person stops, then, they eat like that…”

Chanyeol moves his necks slowly to the side and stares, shocked, at Kyungsoo, sitting right next to him, holding a modest slice of cake in that plastic pink plate.

“The secret is to do a re-education,” he continues, as if he’s talking to anyone in the world but Chanyeol.

“What the fuck,” Chanyeol mumbles.

“You haven’t answered me,” Kyungsoo says quietly. “About the video.”

Chanyeol blinks. No matter how fucking tight Kyungsoo’s clothes are and how hot he looks- all sweaty like that, Chanyeol won’t fall for that. He throws the tissue back at Kyungsoo.

“You said yourself you wanted me to ignore you,” Chanyeol spits, almost whispering and looking around. No one seems to notice them.

“If you were going to mistreat me or fight me, sure,” Kyungsoo says simply. “But I want to know if there’s a way you can forgive me. I think I was… I lost my mind. There were better ways to solve our problems.”

“Fuck you,” Chanyeol mumbles. “The best way you can forgive yourself is just vanishing from my life.”

“Really?” Kyungsoo looks at him. Oh, god, why does he have such big eyes? Where was the justice in the world when they made him look so cute but a demon inside? Chanyeol looks away. “If you’re saying this seriously, then I will.”

Chanyeol laughed, not because he thought it was fun, of course – he couldn’t believe that such a thing was happening.

“Listen, you exposed me to the whole world and you kept a video of my privacy so you could blackmail me.” Chanyeol looks around and gets closer to him so he doesn’t have to hide his anger. “You fucked me as a part of a ridiculous revenge plot—”

“You did the same,” Kyungsoo argues.

“No, I didn’t,” Chanyeol spits. “I did some stuff, but I would never that further—”

“I wasn’t going to have sex with you,” Kyungsoo says, and it sounds sincere. “I had sleeping pills with me. I was going to offer you a drink, take the picture and leave.”

Chanyeol gapes. The noisy people around them, his friends, the gym… he couldn’t hear them. Every fiber of his body is taken by surprise. He’s… beyond shocked. He looks at Kyungsoo, now, this sweaty, small guy; he stares at his neck moles, his fingers, his clean sneakers and asks himself if he actually knows who this guy is. He’s so different from what Chanyeol thought, from that shy and funny kid that used to study with him. Chanyeol remembers the both of them eating cake in his room, laughing and just relaxing.

“Chanyeol?” Kyungsoo frowns.

“Do you expect me to feel better because you fucked me instead of drugging me?” Chanyeol whispers, completely incredulous. “You’re really a psycho, aren’t you?”

“No, I’m not. I just go straight to the point,” Kyungsoo says and he looks… hurt. “You treat me like shit and I’ve never done anything to you. You literally groped me and then started to call me a bitch and act like you hated me. I just wanted things to end and I thought it was a clean way to stop a fight.”

“By drugging me, exposing my privacy and blackmailing me?” Chanyeol makes a wide gesture and drops a bit of Chantilly in the floor. Kyungsoo wipes it before answering.

“I was angry,” he says. “I understand that things got a little out of control. That’s why I’m asking how I can apologize.”

“Do you really think you can apologize…?” Chanyeol is perplexed. He’s having so many emotions at the same time. This thing isn’t doing him any good, really. “How, Kyungsoo? I mean, tell me, how, in this evil brain of yours, you thought you could apologize…?”

Kyungsoo does that thing of checking Chanyeol out while being serious at the same time and Chanyeol wishes, he wishes so hard, that he can remain calm this time and not just… turn into a pudding right there.

“I could suck your dick,” Kyungsoo whispers. “Or do anything you want, really.”

Chanyeol sucks a breath.  _ Control yourself _ .

“So this is your brilliant idea,” Chanyeol gulps. “To offer me sex in exchange for hurting my feelings and just being… a fucking crazy man. Good lord, where did I just sink my dick…? You’re insane.”

“Well, that’s up to you,” Kyungsoo eats his cake like he doesn’t care at all. “I am trying to fix my mistakes, unlike you. I apologized, deleted the video and I’m offering you a good time. I can’t undo things, but I’m trying.”

“Fuck you,” Chanyeol spits. “I’m not going to let this devil mouth of yours anywhere near me. Look at what happened last time I did it.”

“I’m not going to screw you up,” Kyungsoo looks up at him. “I’m trying to apologize.”

“I don’t trust you,” Chanyeol laughs nervously. He’s starting to remember that day at the love hotel and unfortunately, he was also starting to react to it.

“I don’t trust you either,” Kyungsoo says so easily that it kind of hurts. “But as I said before, we don’t need to be friends. We just need to… keep quiet, this time.”

Chanyeol eats his cake again and looks at the people talking and eating, laughing in their own little worlds. Kyungsoo is still staring at him and he feels better ignoring it.

“You have my number,” Kyungsoo says. “I’ll send you a video so we can be even.”

Chanyeol frowns, munching, but he just lets Kyungsoo stand up and walk away. He keeps eating, pretending that nothing happened. When he looks up, Jongdae is shooting him a funny look, but Chanyeol only shrugs as an answer.

He receives the video at night, when he’s working. He shouldn’t open it at  work, but he does it anyway. It’s a big, big mistake. It could be a virus, it could be a hoax or one of these videos that look cute, but then a horrible thing pops up of nowhere and bam! It’s a scare prank.

But it’s not  _ that _ .

It’s Kyungsoo’s legs, and Chanyeol could state that even on his deathbed, because only God knows how much time he spent looking at those tights – and now, with Kyungsoo using kid’s shorts to walk by in the gym, it’s almost impossible to not notice how thick and pale they are and how easily you could mark them—

Then Kyungsoo lifts his hips and the camera shows something between his legs.

A tail.

“Oh my—” he breathes out, sitting down at the first chair he sees, because he needs to rest. The lady passing by is looking at him worriedly and maybe Chanyeol sounds like he’s dying, but he can’t help. It’s a fox tail anal plug.  _ Amazing _ .

What fucking use does he have of this information? What is he going to do with that, now?

Chanyeol takes a long breath and walks slowly and solemnly to his boss’ room. He knocks on the door and waits until she sings  _ ~~~~come in _ .

“Hello, Steph,” he says, serious. “Can I ask you a question?”

Stephany looks at him from her table. She’s is surrounded by every pink office supply in the world and she’s in one of her big-t-shirt-and-ice-cream day, what makes Chanyeol think that maybe it wasn’t the best decision to come. She looks at him, spoon on her mouth and stains on her table, and asks,

“Oh, is something wrong?”

“Not with… work,” he gulps and comes in and closes the door, just to be sure. “I have a… personal problem, noona.”

“Humm,” she scratches inside of her bun. “Do you need advice or just someone to listen…?”

“Both,” he sighs. “But mostly, someone that isn’t friends with… well, someone who will trust my words.”

She taps the table and points to the chair. He sits heavily on it and stares at her. He doesn’t know where to start (and if he can tell her like… _ everything _ ), but he tries his best. She’s just watching him like she would probably watch a drama, nodding, humming and making faces. After he feels like he said enough, he just let his head falls back at the chair. She taps her long nails at a cute pink fluffy sketchbook over the table.

“I see,” she mumbles. “He’s just like a trash ex.”

“We have never dated,” he says, frowning. “We were best friends at school…”

“Chanyeol,” she talks like he’s a kid. “Our best friends in high school are way more like partners than the partners themselves.”

He considers it and nods.

“Maybe.”

“The point is… he broke your heart and you have to admit it,” Steph uses her sweet voice. “You men think that being angry is the answer for every little thing! Can you imagine if you… just went to him and said, ‘well, Kyungsoo, you hurt my feelings’?”

“No,” he frowns. “Not at all.”

“That was the right thing to do.”

“…Probably.”

“But since the mess is made,” she opens the sketchbook. “And he’s obviously way more effective than you and your soft heart… and I would say, as a Leo, that I understand that impulsiveness of yours… I guess you should… just… surrender.”

Chanyeol blinks.

“What…?”

“Do what he wants,” she says simply, shrugging. Her lazy bun moves. “Join the evil forces.”

“What the hell, noona,” he is perplex. “How can you say that?”

“Listen, Chanyeol,” she bends over the table to create a secretive aura. “I’ve had an evil ex too.”

“He’s not my ex.”

“That’s the same,” she dismisses him. “They want you because they can’t have you. In the moment you give them what they want, they go away.”

Chanyeol squints his eyes. “That… makes sense.”

“So just… become his ally, instead of this dumb fighting. You are going to lose, anyway. Go and have fun,” she shrugs. “Just don’t catch feelings.”

Chanyeol is speechless. He just sits there, gaping. Steph looked a lot softer when she was just a rainbow-loving gentle boss. He scratches his head and she smiles, gesturing him to pick a coffee.

He shakes his head. “So… what happened to your ex…?”

“Last time I saw her she was being chased by an 18 years old girl who happens to be way worse than her. In the end, evil people belong to each other… Time will tell,” she sighs and turns her body to check on the window. “Quite late now… You better go back to work. I’m on my PMS and I can talk for hours. I hope I helped.”

“Yes,” he nods. “I _ …  _ mean, I won’t take your advice, but I really needed someone who believed me. Thanks, Steph.”

“Good luck,” she smiles.

“I won’t need it,” Chanyeol says, opening the door. “I’ll just ignore him.”

“Are you sure?” Stephany leans her head, squinting her eyes.

“Absolutely,” Chanyeol nods and he says, before closing the door, “I learnt my lesson, do not think with…”

  
  


 

 

 

 

Thank god Kyungsoo put the mattress on the ground, otherwise they would have destroyed the bed. They slipped a bit, but Kyungsoo hasn’t noticed. Chanyeol also isn’t bothered by it and the only think he can think about is how he wants to personally thank Kyungsoo’s Pilates instructor. It’s probably been an hour since Chanyeol came and excluding the twenty minutes they took between the front door and to get done in the bed, Kyungsoo is fucking himself like there’s no tomorrow; it’s the second condom and that annoying rubbing noise that warns them that they need more lube isn’t stopping him at all. Chanyeol is all sweat, even if he’s literally laying down, so he’s seriously considering if boxing is the right choice.

“Holy shit,” he mumbles, because Kyungsoo did that thing with his hips again and he… he’s barely surviving the view. Kyungsoo has a nice back, full of moles and the way that the sweat drop runs down on it is a piece of art. There’s also the full ass jiggling, of course, but Chanyeol already came once and he doesn’t want to do again before Kyungsoo, so he’s trying hard not to focus on that.

Kyungsoo throws his head back and Chanyeol can see the back of his tights trembling.

“Fuck,” Kyungsoo says, breathless. Chanyeol holds his waist and presses him down and appreciates how Kyungsoo groans incoherently. He’s coming and Chanyeol breathes out because he can finally let it go, too. He wants Kyungsoo to suffer a little bit, so he ignores how his sounds get a bit too high when Chanyeol moves his hips up. Kyungsoo puts his hands over Chanyeol’s, holding them, probably to stop him from pressing any further, but Chanyeol gets weirdly emotional during post orgasm, so he thinks it’s actually cute. It lasts less than ten seconds; Kyungsoo picks one of his fingers and twists it.

“Hey,” Chanyeol screams, taking his hand away from him. “What the fuck?”

“I let the chickpeas soaking,” Kyungsoo says, breathless. “I need to change the water, so stop holding me down, your dick is getting flaccid anyway.”

Chanyeol lets him go, even if Kyungsoo is a bit harsh in this oversensitive moment. He’s a mess, dirty, sticky and tired, so he just stares at the ceiling and thinks about what his life has become. He sighs, rubs his head and finally discards the condom in the bathroom.

“Can I take a bath?” He screams; Kyungsoo’s apartment is the size of an egg.

“Yes,” Kyungsoo says back from whatever he’s hidden.

Chanyeol takes a short bath and he uses Kyungsoo’s liquid soap that smells like him… and smells good. He doesn’t dry himself, jump shakes his hair and puts on his pants. At this point in his life, he spends half of the time of his day being wet, anyway.

Kyungsoo is in the kitchen and he’s… naked.

“That’s not very sanitary,” Chanyeol says, leaning on the door.

“Will you reject the food because of that?” Kyungsoo asks, distracted, opening and checking a pen.

“No, I will do it because I follow a diet,” he says, serious. “Also, because you may have poisoned this food.”

“I wouldn’t,” Kyungsoo snorts. “If I wanted you dead, I would have choked you while I was sitting in your face.”

Chanyeol widens his eyes.

“Fuck, you’re right,” Chanyeol rubs his own arms. “I need to be more careful.”

“I won’t do anything to harm you, I’m trying to apologize,” Kyungsoo sighs, shaking a pan. “What do you eat?”

“Protein,” Chanyeol says quietly. “Porridge.”

“Sugar-free? Gluten-free?” Kyungsoo turns to stare at him and Chanyeol gulps. He just shakes his head negatively. “Good. I’ll make some for you.”

Chanyeol watches him for a while, but then get restless, because it feels like a porn scenario, or worse, a relationship thing, so he escapes the kitchen and goes check his phone. Three missed calls, from Jongdae, Baekhyun and Sehun. Chanyeol likes to talk on the phone, but there’s no spot in that tiny place where he’ll be sure he won’t be heard, so he just messages them. Baekhyun is asking him out to a party, Jongdae just wanted to tell Chanyeol that he saw a guy from Super Junior in the private beach he’s in and Sehun was also asking him out, promising him that Kyungsoo wouldn’t tag along. Well, Chanyeol knows it. 

Kyungsoo passes by him and goes to the bathroom. Chanyeol thinks about how distant he feels from his friends – he knew that it would happen in his adult life. That now everyone would be to busy to meet together and he could only see them if he accepted to join their lives. Chanyeol could be a party kind of guy, but he didn’t even have time to settle down yet. He could find someone and be the relationship kind of guy also. And he could be a workaholic too. He’s just… is this the price he pays to get things as it was before?

Kyungsoo leaves the bathroom and he’s clean, fresh and smelling like perfume. Chanyeol follows him unconsciously.

“The porridge is ready,” Kyungsoo points with his chin, drying his hair with a white towel. “I made some hummus too. I’m sure it’s a source of protein, so…”

“Thank you,” Chanyeol says and he sits awkwardly at the table. Kyungsoo seems to be following his routine and Chanyeol eats fast, not only because he’s hungry but because he’s feeling out of place.

Kyungsoo sits down to eat toasts with hummus and he looks… soft. He looks up and Chanyeol gets started and looks at his bowl, instead.

“Did you come here straight from work?” Kyungsoo asks.

“Yes,” Chanyeol says. “I work Friday night.”

“I see,” Kyungsoo licks his lips. “Are you working tomorrow?”

Chanyeol stops eating and crosses his arms.

“Why do you want to know that…?”

“I don’t work tomorrow,” Kyungsoo says simply. Chanyeol waits. “You can stay if you want to.”

Chanyeol squints his eyes.

“Why I would do that…” He asks suspiciously. “Or, why would you want that?”

Kyungsoo is elegantly eating his toast, so Chanyeol has to wait again.

“Because I want to have sex again,” Kyungsoo wipes his mouth. “But I also need to sleep.”

Chanyeol laughs hard, throwing his head back for a dramatic effect.

“This,” he moves his finger between him and Kyungsoo, “won’t happen ever again.”

Kyungsoo stares at him, munching, bored.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The thing is: Chanyeol could have waited until Kyungsoo went back to the room. He was just getting rid of his pants when he saw Kyungsoo fingering himself, one leg bent on the sink, tiptoeing with the other, arm back, finger in and out, lube dripping down his tights. And he had lost self-control when he left work way too early to come back to Kyungsoo’s house, but it wasn’t enough the walk of shame after fucking Kyungsoo once, no. He had to go there and fuck him again.

Kyungsoo throws his head back and it hits the mirror lightly. Chanyeol grabs the back of his knees and presses his legs higher. He wants to see it. Kyungsoo tries to grab something and drops a deodorant down the sink. They are making a mess.

“Calm down,” Chanyeol manages to say, watching Kyungsoo holding on to the border of the sink. “Want me to go slower…? If you can’t take it, baby…”

“Fuck you,” Kyungsoo breathes out and he grabs Chanyeol’s neck, instead, pulling him down. Chanyeol groans and his back is not in the best position – at this point, Kyungsoo isn’t even sitting on the sink, because Chanyeol is literally carrying him over it.

“Don’t break my neck,” Chanyeol pleads and he’s close. He wants to watch how Kyungsoo moans, but Kyungsoo hugs him even harder. Chanyeol would complain – if he had enough strength or if Kyungsoo didn’t just lick his neck. He trembles and he loses the train of thought because he can’t do anything but fuck harder until he comes. Kyungsoo’s deep groans are a bonus, really.

“Fuck, you’re so good,” he whispers, hopeless and he lets Kyungsoo slides slowly back to the sink. Chanyeol takes a few seconds to finish the ritual of getting-clean-and-ashamed-of-his-horny-self and that’s when he realizes that Kyungsoo may look wrecked, but he’s still hard and undone.

Kyungsoo is just sitting there, breathing and Chanyeol feels… dumb. He can’t even hide how much he wants this and he only embarrasses himself.

“Fuck, let me…” Chanyeol bends in front of him; kneeling won’t help.

“What?” Kyungsoo asks, staring him down lazily. Chanyeol holds his dick in his hands and doesn’t even try to look hot – he just swallows the whole thing and enjoys Kyungsoo’s hips jerking up. “What the—”

Chanyeol doesn’t even remember when was the last time he really gave someone a good blowjob. Most of his sex was under alcohol’s influence and he was way hornier than into impressing. Now he does for fun, to watch Kyungsoo’s writhe and make pleasant sounds.

He swallows. He feels Kyungsoo’s chills and spasms and it’s amazing. He looks up to show Kyungsoo how there’s nothing else in his mouth after finishing and—

Kyungsoo is red-faced, hair wet, his red, full mouth open, staring down. It’s… wow. Chanyeol lets Kyungsoo pets his hair slowly.

“Good boy.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

He’s been avoiding Stephany for a week.

Chanyeol almost jumped off a window because he had to cross her path in a corridor. He was lucky that she was way too busy because her birthday was near and she was all the time in the phone. He even solved his problems using a book – Chanyeol has to admit he’s not an avid reader – to avoid talking to her. He’s in luck that she parks inside of the building and he, unfortunately (now very fortunate) doesn’t have this privilege, so they don’t bump into each other easily.

Chanyeol is ashamed of himself. He had been into Kyungsoo’s house… many times. They didn’t talk to each other in the gym, even if sometimes, Chanyeol did glance to see if Kyungsoo was using the tiny shorts, but for the sake of whatever they have, he seems to have bought bigger clothes. It’s also easy to hide when his both best friends aren’t  _ those _ friends anymore. Chanyeol is sure that some cold war is happening, but can’t read subtlety at all and no one threw dishes yet, so…

He passes by a store to buy new sneakers after work and he’s surprised when he goes back home to find Jongdae and his boyfriend, well-dressed and sitting prettily in the couch, waiting for him. Chanyeol walks in cautiously, looking around for cameras.

“What’s going on?” He asks. “Is it a porridge intervention? I told you that now I only eat it thrice a day…”

“It’s not a porridge intervention, Chanyeol,” Jongdae says seriously. “I have good news.”

“Please don’t tell me you’re moving out,” Chanyeol almost screams.

“No, I’m not… yet,” Jongdae says. “You have a date tonight, so go take a shower and dress… like you want to impress.”

“A blind date…?” Chanyeol laughs, sitting on the couch. Zitao is already taking a nap, so he won’t try to disappear before the two lovers start to make out. “I don’t need your help to get a date.”

“It’s not only to help you, which, by the way, you need it,” Jongdae smiles; he’s looking super cute in that soft button-up black shirt and he’s even using make-up and that’s how you know this relationship works. “It’s a super cute guy that I want you to impress.”

“Who? Or… better, pics or it’s not happening,” Chanyeol scratches his nose. He doesn’t want to accept but… he’s single and he should date, at least once in a while. He thinks about asking that Minho guy that comes to visit his friend at the radio station, once in a while, but he never had the right moment to do so.

“Remember the professor I’m working with?” Jongdae takes his phone out of his pocket and starts to type. “He broke up with his boyfriend and he wants to date again. I’m trying really hard to make him recommend me to the university, so I told him that I knew this guy that was totally his type.”

“And this guy is me,” Chanyeol points to himself, frowning.

“Yes,” Jongdae mumbles absently.

“What’s his type…?” Chanyeol waves dismissively. “Forget it. I will regret it later.”

“I don’t know his type exactly,” Jongdae gives Chanyeol his phone. “But his ex was really tall, dorky, kind of confused and has preeminent ears.”

“Oh,” Chanyeol says and he gapes when he sees the picture. “Is… Is this a professor…? How?”

“I know, right,” Jongdae smiles. “He’s super cute.”

“He looks too young,” he whispers. “But… yeah, he’s stunning.”

“Good for you, he’s desperate and he agreed,” Jongdae shrugs. “So go take a bath and put… lots of perfume.”

“What do you mean,” Chanyeol throws the phone at his friend’s lap.

“Nothing,” Jongdae keeps his phone and cuddles his sleepy boyfriend. “This protein shake of yours gives you a weird sweat smell.”

Chanyeol smells himself. Kyungsoo never complained about his body smell.

“Go take a bath,” Jongdae says again.

“Fine,” Chanyeol pouts.

The last time Chanyeol had a date, he thinks, was five years ago. So he tries at least five clothes (Jongdae bans jumpers, that is basically 80% of his wardrobe), bathes in perfume, styles his hair and put on clean shoes. He looks at his reflection before leaving home.

“You look good, tiger,” and sends himself an air kiss.

He makes Zitao stop the car so he could buy some flowers. Jongdae whines (“this is not a great gift if you’re taking someone to watch a movie!”), but Zitao shushes him (“this is cute and you should be more like him!”) so Chanyeol waits on the back seat trying to control the sweat in his hands and breathing hard. They arrive at his apartment in twenty minutes and Chanyeol feels like it was an eternity.

“It’s a nice place,” Zitao mumbles while they’re waiting. Jongdae nods. Chanyeol stares at the clean, long entry to the lobby. Chanyeol is shaking his legs so much that it could count as an exercise. Jongdae tries to stop Chanyeol, but he ends up shaking too.

“Hello,” a melodious voice sings. “Oh, you’re here…”

Chanyeol gulps and jumps a few steps to greet the guy first. He’s tiny and cute, using a loose shirt and skinny pants, all black, contrasting with his dyed hair.

“Nice to meet you,” Chanyeol bows. “I’m Park Chanyeol!”

“Kim Minseok,” he snorts, bowing too. Jongdae takes Chanyeol from his way to give Minseok a hug.

“Sorry, he’s hyperactive,” Jongdae says. “You know my boyfriend, Zitao.”

“Oh, yes, a beauty like this is hard to forget,” Minseok says softly and Zitao blushes. Jongdae elbows Chanyeol and glances at the flowers.

“Ah, yeah,” Chanyeol offers them to Minseok. “For you!”

“For me?” Minseok smiles, taking them. “So nice…”

On the way to the car, Chanyeol can hear Zitao’s “I told you so!”. It’s not very far from the movie theater, so Chanyeol makes small talk to Minseok.

“… Oh, so you’re a music teacher, that’s so cool,” he mumbles. “And do you play anything?”

“I sing,” Minseok says. “Professionally too.”

“Super cool,” Chanyeol beams. “I hope you go to the radio, then.”

“I don’t think so,” Minseok smiles. “Unless I’m paying you a visit.”

Chanyeol, who is not a day older than five, blushes and hides his face. Minseok finds it super hilarious – he moves his entire body when he’s laughing and his smile is a bit crooked. Chanyeol could totally date him or even marry him but that’s just his impulsive self talking. Jongdae and Zitao couldn‘t care less about them but they pay for the tickets because they’re really trying to make everyone comfortable.

Chanyeol over thinks about holding Minseok’s hand because the place is cold. Under the weak light and the late hour, they seem to be in an appropriate moment for that, but he doesn’t want to scare Minseok so early, so he holds the sodas instead.

“I eat a lot of popcorn while watching movies,” Minseok says while trying to walk and hold a popcorn bag half of his size. “I hope you don’t mind…”

“No, not at all,” Chanyeol laughs, guiding him to their seats. Jongdae and Zitao chose seats in the middle, so they have to struggle a bit to get there. Since they have time before the movie starts, Chanyeol chats a little to entertain his date. Minseok has an easy laugh, a sharp mind and answers in the tip of his tongue.

“No,” Jongdae suddenly says and he holds Zitao hand down. Chanyeol and Minseok look at them. Zitao looks slightly offended and confused.

“They’re my friends,” he pouts to his boyfriend. “Why can’t I talk to them?”

“Because you know Chanyeol acts like an ogre when he sees Kyungsoo,” Jongdae explains simply. “Talk to them after the movie, okay?”

“What?” Chanyeol blinks. “What’s going on?”

“Kyungsoo’s there,” Jongdae points discreetly, which would surprise Chanyeol normally since his friend isn’t exactly discreet usually, but Chanyeol is too focused on the newly acquired information. He can only see Kyungsoo’s head, but he notices that someone is sitting next to him, sharing the popcorn. “Please, don’t make a scene.”

“I won’t,” Chanyeol gulps. “I don’t care about him.”

“What’s… going on…?” Minseok asked cautiously.

“It’s a friend of ours that Chanyeol used to best friends with and now he hates the poor guy,” Jongdae munches popcorn peacefully.

“He’s an asshole,” Chanyeol says, side-eyeing Jongdae. “He’s no poor guy…”

Jongdae rolls his eyes and Zitao snorts.

“It’s funny as hell,” Zitao says. “I have never seen someone hate Kyungsoo before. You amaze me, Chanyeol.”

“Don’t tease him,” Jongdae warns. “He’s out of control lately. Or… maybe… always, I don’t know.”

“Kyungsoo won’t even see us,” Zitao shrugs. “He’s too dedicated to watching movies. Also, he’s with Taemin, so that is an unbreakable introvert unit, right there. They are probably in another world,  silent and unbothered.”

“Again?” Chanyeol frowns. Minseok was watching the conversation like it’s the movie itself. “Do they hang out all the time?”

“Yeah? They’re close friends, actually,” Zitao seems to be confused. “I guess people don’t notice it because they’re pretty lowkey.”

The lights go down and the trailers start. Chanyeol reluctantly looks at the big screen, sometimes glancing at Kyungsoo and once in a while, checking on Minseok. He’s not sure of what to do, especially because Minseok is using both hands to eat, so Chanyeol can’t even hold his hands. He watches the movie until the end, even if he doesn’t get much of it because it’s very conceptual. When the lights are up again, Minseok asks him if he liked the movie and when Chanyeol confesses he didn’t get much, Minseok kindly explains. Chanyeol is so immersed in this that he walks without noticing anything. He only realizes that Zitao is talking to his friends when he’s about to get in the car. He and Kyungsoo exchange a look, but it’s a fraction of a second before Kyungsoo walks away. Chanyeol pretends that nothing happened and keeps talking.

He stutters when they arrive at Minseok’s home. Chanyeol jumps off the car and runs to open the door first. Minseok looks pleased (Zitao squeals and there’s a fighting sound after, but Chanyeol is too distracted to understand what’s going on inside).

“Thank you for the night,” he says simply, staring at Chanyeol. “You’re great.”

“You too,” Chanyeol tries to focus on what is he supposed to do now. “I…”

Minseok tip toes and grabs Chanyeol’s face to kiss him on the cheek.

“Have a nice night,” Minseok waves, walking out. “See you soon.”

Chanyeol stays there, touching the warm place on his cheek for a while. He only moves when Zitao honks and Chanyeol almost dies from a heart attack.

“Do you think I did something wrong?” Chanyeol asks in the way home.

“No,” Zitao says pointedly. “ _ If I dated someone who did that _ , I would certainly fall in love with them.”

“Ah,” Jongdae whines. “It doesn’t matter. Minseok broke up this week. He needs some time yet to get into another relationship, no matter how sweet Chanyeol was.”

“Why you do such things…?” Zitao sighs. “Are you using your friends’ feelings to impress your boss?”

“First, I do want Chanyeol to start dating, and not the first person is the right one. He needs to practice it,” Jongdae says defensively. “Also, Chanyeol had a good night. Not everyone needs to fall in love. Sometimes people just want to have fun with someone they like!”

“And what if this ‘someone they like’ want something different?” Zitao asks, raising his voice a little. “Is it fun when feelings are involved?

Chanyeol knows they aren’t talking about him anymore, but he’s not paying attention. He’s just drunk in the sensation that he actually can have a date and a nice night out with a hot guy. He was so focused on working and training that he forgot that he can do things like this. Maybe he should relax a bit, instead of obsessing with stuff. Just maybe.

Or maybe not.

 

 

 

 

 

 

“Please, I can’t feel my legs,” Chanyeol cries, jumping the rope with just one leg. Taeyeon, sitting prettily on a chair, is checking her nails, unbothered. Chanyeol has been jumping for an hour and sometimes one guy passes by and laughs off his face.

“Think before you drink sodas again if you don’t like it,” Taeyeon says.

“I had a date,” he says, breathless. “It was the first in many years!”

“We only excuse date food if there’s sex after it,” she stares at him. “To burn the calories.”

“It was a first date,” Chanyeol really wants to cry. “At least let me change the exercise!”

“Fine,” she shrugs. “Go punch the punching ball, instead.”

“Thank lord,” he breathes out, falling on the floor. He rubs his belly and closes his eyes. She hangs a giant punchbag (how someone so tiny can be so strong?) and taps it.

“It’s not gonna punch itself.”

“Calm down,” he stands up with difficulty and hugs the bag instead. She rolls her eyes. “Give me a minute.”

“I’m going to pick some water. Don’t pass out!” She warns him, walking away loudly. Chanyeol hugs the bag tighter and takes a minute before putting on the wristlets. He adjusts it and punches softly, one, two, three times. He’s glad he’s using sleeveless t-shirt and the baggy shorts, because he’s so sweaty that the fabric is gluing where it can. After measuring his punch, he goes harder and harder – unfortunately, he’s still distracted. He punches even harder, trying to concentrate. The bag is heavy, but it goes far from him, almost rising on the air. Chanyeol is still paying attention to—

He can see, with the corner of his eyes, the exact moment that Kyungsoo walks to the stairs. Chanyeol tries hard to not look at him, just punching and doing his task as he should. But he glances for just one second and he can see that Kyungsoo is using…  _ the shorts _ .

Chanyeol can’t resist and he turns his whole head to take a good look at it.

It happens fast. He can barely feel the pain and everything goes—

black.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

He opens his eyes slowly and everything is moving.

The… celling?

“Chanyeol,” a familiar voice says. “Are you listening to me?”

“Yeshhhhnnnnn,” he answers and he tries to get up, but someone stops him. “Where am I…?”

“Laying on the floor,” Chanyeol now recognizes the faces. YIfan frowns and his giant hand is right on Chanyeol’s face. “How many fingers do you see?”

“Those aren’t like… sticks?” He laughs and Taeyeon laughs too.

“He’s making jokes, he’s fine,” she says. “Despite, you know… the face… thing?”

“What?” Chanyeol widens his eyes. “What happened?”

“You were punched back by the bag,” Taeyeon sighs. “You really got distracted.”

“Oh,” Chanyeol touches his face. It’s hurt. “Sorry.”

“Try not to move now,” Yifan offers him a towel. Chanyeol holds it and it’s freezing. “Press gently against your face.”

Chanyeol does as he’s told; he’s pressing ice against his face. He wants to cry.

“Yup,” Taeyeon makes a disgusted face. “This is going to be purple…”

“My head hurts…” Chanyeol pouts. “I want my mom.”

“We could call your family,” Yifan considers. “But we thought it would be humiliating to a grown ass man like you. A friend of yours offered to take you home. Just stay there until you feel a bit better to move, okay?”

“Shouldn’t we take him to the hospital?” Taeyeon suggests.

“Nah, this happened to me like… ten times,” Yifan laugh. “It hurts, gets purple and annoys a bit, but he’ll survive.”

“Fine,” Taeyeon nods. She looks back and waves. “I think you can take him now.”

Chanyeol keeps pressing the ice against his face and he slowly sits up. He moans, tired, closing his eyes. When he opens, he almost falls back again.

“The cab is already here,” Kyungsoo says nonchalantly. “Do you need me to carry you, Chanyeol?”

Chanyeol blinks.

“ _Demon_ ,” he screams.

“Is he tripping or…?” Taeyeon frowns. “I think he needs a doctor.”

“It’s a cute pet name,” Kyungsoo says blankly, grabbing Chanyeol’s arm. “Come on. We don’t have the entire day.”

“This is your fault,” Chanyeol cries, but he gets up and follows Kyungsoo, because he doesn’t really have a choice, does he? Kyungsoo looks up and he’s… he’s smiling.

“You’re really dumb,” he mumbles and Chanyeol wants to complain, but his face hurts when he talks. Also, he wouldn’t be walking right if Kyungsoo wasn’t holding him. To protest, he only answers question with ‘yes’ or ‘no’ on the way home. He also pays the cab, because he doesn’t want Kyungsoo to look  _ that  _ good.

“Thanks for keeping me company,” he says reluctantly when he enters his apartment. Kyungsoo just stands there. “You can go now.”

“No,” Kyungsoo says. “I will wait until Jongdae is home. Otherwise, you can pass out and die and there will be no one to help you.”

“You don’t have shit to do?” Chanyeol asks, angry. “I don’t like your ‘fake nice’ attitude!”

“Why do you keep saying I’m fake?” Kyungsoo asks seriously. “You’re the only person in the world who tells me that. Everyone complains about my sincerity.”

Chanyeol looks at him and pouts, sitting on the couch. Maybe he should expose Kyungsoo, after all. It’s not like he’s going to avoiding the thing forever.

“I heard you telling Jongin I was the last person you wanted to see,” he says and he can’t hide he’s hurt. “You told him I was exhausting.”

Kyungsoo stares at him for a long time. Then, he sighs deeply, sits on the couch too and takes his glasses off. Chanyeol watches how his little hands play with it.

“I was diagnosed last week,” Kyungsoo said quietly. “I didn’t tell my friends yet.”

“What…?” Chanyeol mumbles.

“I have social anxiety disorder,” Kyungsoo looks at him. “I always knew it, I mean. I gave up on my acting career because of that. Sometimes I’m scared of people. Of talking to them, to be seen by them. Now I can do it… but it costs me a lot of energy. I have to prepare myself to talk to people every day, and that’s because mine isn’t that hard anymore. I got used to it. When you leave service… you’re never really okay. The confinement, the rules, everything. You need to get used to the world outside again and it’s not easy for anyone, but for me it was a lot worse. I spent weeks afraid to talk to Seulgi because I wasn’t used to interact with girls anymore. I just…”

He takes a long breath and looks down.

“You are very… I don’t know you that much anymore, but you used to be very pushing. It was nice in high school, of course. I was shy and you were very sociable, so you helped me a lot. But now it’s different. Now we’re adults and people ask about work, dating, success, and money,” Kyungsoo gulps. “I had a terrible birthday with my family just a day before and I was sad. I didn’t want to see anyone and my friends were pressuring me. I would say anything to Jongin to make him… go away. I… wasn’t lying when I called you exhausting. For me, people like you _ are  _ exhausting, but that doesn’t mean I don’t like you. I always liked you a lot and wanted to be your friend.”

Chanyeol is speechless. He stares at Kyungsoo, at his glasses and his sweaty back. He feels… beyond ignorant. A complete mess.

“I’m sorry if… it was too aggressive,” Kyungsoo says. “It was a really bad day for me.”

Chanyeol nods, gulping. He takes the glasses out of Kyungsoo’s hand, puts on the couch and gently holds his hand.

“I’m sorry if I was… a gigantic jerk,” Chanyeol says tentatively. “I… I’m… dumb.”

Kyungsoo snorts.

“Ok, to be honest, I am having anger issues,” Chanyeol squeezes Kyungsoo’s hand. “And my life is a mess right now. I guess I obsessed a little with you… I didn’t want things to go so far…”

“Do you hate me right now?” Kyungsoo asks.

“No,” Chanyeol shakes his head. “I… am still hurt about the Instagram thing. I mean… that was cruel. It was really evil.”

“I know,” Kyungsoo says. “And I’m sorry.”

Chanyeol lays his head on the couch and stares at Kyungsoo, rubbing his hand.

“I wish we could start from zero,” Chanyeol says and he’s sad. “But unfortunately we can’t.”

“Did you want to be friends?” Kyungsoo smiles and he looks sad, too.

“No, I would date you,” Chanyeol almost whispers. He remembers his date and how much he enjoyed being the romantic guy. “You’re my type. Short, cute, straightforward and you can cook my porridge way better than me.”

“Do you want a boyfriend or a maid?” Kyungsoo mocks, but his tone isn’t right. Chanyeol’s laugh is weak, too.

“I want… many things,” Chanyeol says weakly. “I can’t have most of them. Including you.”

Kyungsoo rubs his hand back.

“There’s no way this can’t happen,” he says. “But… we can just be nice and polite to each other.”

“I guess,” Chanyeol nods. His face is really hurting. “I’ll try to forgive you the best I can, if you do the same.”

“I will. If you treat me nicely,” Kyungsoo says. “Is there anything I can do?”

“Yes,” Chanyeol says seriously, sitting straight. He lets Kyungsoo’s hand go. “I want you to tell Jongdae that you did the Instagram post. He doesn’t believe me.”

“Isn’t it better if no one knows?” Kyungsoo frowns.

“No,” Chanyeol says resolutely. “I need you to do this. I want you to take responsibility for your actions.”

“If you want me to,” Kyungsoo nods slowly. “I will.”

They stay in silence for a while.

“Were you on a date that day?” Kyungsoo asks timidly. “Zitao told me it was a double date.”

“Yeah, I was,” Chanyeol sighs. “It was a nice night, but I’m not sure if I’m going to get a second date.”

“Then this guy is really dumb,” Kyungsoo says.

“Probably,” Chanyeol smiles widely. “But it’s nice to go out. I’ve been overworking lately… how about you, you don’t have to work today?”

“I work by demand,” Kyungsoo puts his glasses on. “I have a deadline and then I have to get everything done before that. I only go to work because they have more equipment and tools. My notebook isn’t as good. Free coffee, air conditioner and a nice table.”

“Do you like what you do…?”

“I like drawing. But I wished I could work as a voice actor too. I signed up to do a role in a movie.”

“Really?” Chanyeol moves unconsciously. “I hope you do great. You have such a nice voice, I bet this would sound nice…”

“Thank you,” Kyungsoo is shy. Chanyeol coos.

“Let me squeeze your cheeks,” Chanyeol tries, but Kyungsoo bats his hand off.

“Then I’ll squeeze your purple cheek,” Kyungsoo warns. Chanyeol protects his face immediately. “You really need to put ice on it. I always looked at that punching ball and thought it could hit a tall dumbass. I was right.”

“Shut up,” Chanyeol pouts. “That was because of these shorts of yours! Can’t you buy something your size?”

Kyungsoo laughs and Chanyeol smiles too.

“Sorry,” Kyungsoo smiles. “It shrank in size because I forgot it on the dryer…”

“No problem. I kind of like it. It’s a sweet pain.”

“Chanyeol,” Kyungsoo says seriously. “We can’t flirt or fuck anymore.”

“Not… just… a quickie?” Chanyeol tries to look cute, but based on Kyungsoo’s lack of reaction, he failed. “A… quick quickie…”

“No,” Kyungsoo doesn’t miss a beat. “If we want to start from zero, then no.”

“Fine,” Chanyeol rolls his eyes. “But I’m keeping your video!”

“You can keep it,” Kyungsoo says. “Just don’t share—”

The door opens and they don’t even have time to put some space between them, because Jongdae comes in running straight to Chanyeol. He’s dressed up and carrying books.

“Oh my god, you’re fine,” he sighs in relief. “Taeyeon called me and said you passed out? God, why is your face purple?”

“I was hit by the punching ball,” he says cautiously. “What are you doing here?”

“I asked Minseok to come here to watch over you,” Jongdae finally notices that Chanyeol isn’t alone. “Oh, Kyungsoo. I haven’t see you there…”

“He brought me home,” Chanyeol explains quickly. “We’re not doing anything.”

“I was waiting for you,” Kyungsoo says politely, standing up. “Chanyeol is just fine, but I think he should rest.”

“I need to go to work,” Chanyeol panics. “I’m fine, okay? Just… messed up.”

“That doesn’t even make sense,” Jongdae whines to Chanyeol. “Thanks for taking care of him, Kyungsoo.”

“No problem,” Kyungsoo nods. “I’ll leave you two alone, now. Don’t let him work today.”

“I won’t,” Jongdae smiles, like he really can do that. “You can trust me.”

Jongdae glares at Chanyeol, so the only thing Chanyeol can do is pout. Kyungsoo is almost closing the door when he sticks his head out the door.

“Ah, before I forget,” he says slowly. “I took Chanyeol to that love hotel, fucked him, took the picture and posted online.”

And then he closes the door.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Of course, after missing work for a day, he couldn’t avoid Stephany anymore. She’s waiting for him at the table he uses for eating. High heels, rainbow dress and makeup done, it’s not a good sign.

“Hello, Chanyeol,” she turns the chair like a James Bond Villain. “I’m glad to see you’re okay.”

An exaggeration. Chanyeol still has a purple face, his hair is a mess and he’s living in jumpers. Only pictures of food on his Instagram for a while.

“Hello, Steph,” he gulps. “You look beautiful today.”

“Don’t waste your compliments,” she shakes her head cutely. “Since you’re avoiding me, I suppose you got back to your ex.”

“He’s not my ex,” Chanyeol sighs. “And just for a while. We’re finally done now.”

“Good,” she smiles. “Because I need you to focus on your work.”

He looks around. Everyone is having lunch in the cafeteria, probably.

“Why…?”

“I’m going to California to visit my family,” she announces. “It’s my birthday soon.”

“I know,” he nods.

“I need to put someone in my place temporarily. I don’t trust anarchy,” she pressed her lips together. “So I guess you were the best choice.”

“Me?” Chanyeol points to himself. “How—I mean, Why?”

“You work hard, Chanyeol. Friday nights, Sunday nights… this is what this radio needs,” she says seriously, playing with a fluffy pink pen. “You’ll get a temporary raise too. And you’ll need to water my plants.”

“Yes, noona.”

“But it’s just for a month or two,” she clarifies. “If everything works out, I’ll get this radio really good news.”

“Weren’t you going to… visit your family?”

“I never stop working, Chanyeol,” she squints her eyes. “And neither should you.”

“Okay…” he nods. “When I’ll start…?”

She throws him a pink key and he almost let it fall but in the end, he holds it.

“Now,” she smiles sweetily. “Water the plants at the sunset and keep the table clean. Don’t mess my things and send my assistant the personal calls. Any doubts?”

Chanyeol stares at the pink key and then at her.

“Can I… eat your candies?”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Chanyeol gets used to it after two weeks.

In the first week, he could barely have slept – because the radio never sleeps and he was responsible now for the whole PR thing, which work just nice by the phone, but when people come and expect a cute, small lady to talk to and see Chanyeol… they agree mainly by fear. Chanyeol works to make his voice less deep and he’s learning a lot about growing plants in artificial environments. The best thing is that he gets coffee on his table and… the wi-fi. The wi-fi is the best and he’s obsessed with it.

He’s not having the best time, but at least he’s having fun at work, which is kind of new.

**_Kim Jongdae sent you a message_ **

**KIM JONGDAE** r u friends w/ ksoo in ur social media???

**PARK CHANYEOL** yup

 

It was just… polite to do so. If Chanyeol has even the people from high school that he barely talked to, not having Kyungsoo would be weird. They aren’t talking, but their ‘be nice’ agreement is working just fine.

 

**KIM JONGDAE** go check it lmao

**KIM JONGDAE** hot stuff

 

Chanyeol’s heart stops for a second. What if the video he has was leaked? No. There’s no way. Also, Jongdae wouldn’t mock it. He takes a while and then he sees what it is because many of his friends liked it.

It’s a relationship status change. Chanyeol reads it while babbling incoherently.

 

 

_ Doh Kyungsoo _ _ is in a serious relationship with  _ _ Lee Taemin _

_ 123 likes _

.

 

**Huang Z.tao : ** kekekekekkekekekekekekekekekekek <3

**OOOH!sehun : ** omg

**Seulgi!!! : ** congratulations :)

**Amber Liu : ** Luna owes me twenty bucks.

**ZYX : ** Ah! I’m happy for you, Kyungsoo. Congratulations!

**Bbh_100 : ** this is the most WTF moment ever

**Juhyun : ** What a nice couple :3

**Kim_jonginnie : ** THIS IS THE WORST DAY OF MY LIFE

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

.


	4. saturn's detriment

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “You’re crazy,” Chanyeol says defensively. “What are you doing that for?”
> 
> “Yes or no, Chanyeol,” Kyungsoo says simply. “I don’t have the whole night.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> !!! this chapter starts with a sex scene between the side!pairing !!! Alcohol use, fighting, swearing, angry!sex!!!

.

 

 

When he falls down from his orgasm high, he realizes that his boyfriend is coming inside him. Kyungsoo adjusts his legs and sits on him harder, circling his hips.

“I won’t stop riding you until that last drop comes out,” Kyungsoo whispers breathily, but he knows that Taemin can hear him just right, because the band in his eyes stop him from seeing, but helps him to be attentive through ears. Kyungsoo also is sure that he listened, because he unconsciously tries to move his arms, but with his wrists tied to the bed, the only thing he can get is frustration.

He moans and Kyungsoo feels immensely powerful during those seconds. He watches Taemin’s body relax and his chest breathing easily.

It’s a good Friday night.

 

 

 

It takes a lot to clean and to keep after finishing, but it’s worth it. Kyungsoo drags him to the bathroom before he falls asleep dirty in a messy bed. They don’t have another round in shower, because sex is exhausting when you have so much roleplay. Kyungsoo likes to eat after sex and Taemin likes to cuddle, so they always have to order food and eat while laying down. Even if Kyungsoo can’t cook, he can’t complain, because Taemin doesn’t care about what they watch and he never contests Kyungsoo’s weird tastes in tv shows.

The food arrives and Kyungsoo gets up to pay. It’s his favorite type of crepes and he was in awe when he found out that they delivered. The night couldn’t be better. Or maybe it could if Kyungsoo’s boyfriend wasn’t on the phone.

“Hey,” Kyungsoo says dryly, almost knocking Taemin’s phone off his hands with the food box. “Eat while it is still hot.”

Taemin looks up smiling and gives Kyungsoo some space to sit next to him.

“Thank you,” he says, unbothered. “I was just checking my email.”

“Do you think that they will send the letter on a Friday night…?” Kyungsoo said, sitting. “Wait until Monday.”

“It’s Saturday morning, actually,” Taemin checks his phone again and Kyungsoo is two seconds from kicking that thing. “I know they won’t. I just can’t wait.”

He says that so peacefully that it almost takes the emotional weight off the situation, but Kyungsoo won’t be convinced by it.

“We’ll go to sleep and tomorrow you won’t remember it anymore,” Kyungsoo says and he grabs the crepe and eats a generous bite messily. His favorite thing ever is food after sex. Taemin laughs, his wet hair shaking over his forehead.

“You can have mine also,” he says gently. “The anxiety is killing my appetite and I’m not even that hungry.”

“Okay,” Kyungsoo says after barely munching. “But tomorrow you’ll have to eat properly.”

“We will,” he says, and he holds Kyungsoo by the waist, pressing his face into Kyungsoo’s belly. “The second breakfast is up to you.”

“What will be the first?” Kyungsoo looks down. Taemin just throws his head back, smiling.

 

 

.

 

Sehun’s hair is orange. Full orange. He has fake tattoos on his chest, peeping out of his open Hawaiian shirt. He leans back in the chair and stares at Kyungsoo, biting the straw of his coconut. Jongin, fully dressed as it was required at a full autumn weather, is confusingly staring at him since he sat down.

“Why are you drinking that…?” Jongin asks, confused. “We’re at a café, Sehun.”

“It’s stenographic, it was a part of the photoshop,” Sehun says absently. “You asked me to come here early, so I had no time to change.”

Jongin sighs and drinks his hot chocolate. It’s diet because he’s training. Kyungsoo knows it.

“I’m glad you’re here,” Kyungsoo tries to say politely.

“Did you hear anything, Sehun?” Jongin asks, checking his phone. He’s been silent since Kyungsoo sat next to him.

“That looks childish even for you,” Sehun says. “The cold treatment feels better.”

“Jongin, we have to cheer up Zitao …” Kyungsoo argues. “Can’t you just stop ignoring me for two hours? I don’t understand why you hang out with me if you don’t wanna talk to me…”

Jongin must be tired of this game; he sighs like he’s giving up.

“I love you, hyung, but you’re messing up everything,” he complains. “It’s not fair that my two best friends date… because when you two break up, then I’ll lose both or I’ll have to pick a side.”

“ _When_?” Sehun snorts. “We are super ready to give Zitao some positivity, I see…”

“We’re all adults, Jongin,” Kyungsoo says gently. “If we break up, then, we are going to act so as well. I barely saw him before, anyway. We don’t have the same social circles, except you. What makes you think that this will change?”

“True,” Sehun agrees, finally letting go of that ridiculous coconut. “Kyungsoo and Taemin are the most peaceful and dangerous people that I know, so I don’t think they would spend their time on an ex. I also think that they won’t break up for a while. Cancer and Capricorn keep being together by convenience.”

“I don’t even know how this whole thing started,” Jongin rubs his face with both hands. “Like you two are the most secretive people I know! I mean if I don’t know, who could possibly know, then?”

“Yeah, Kyungsoo,” Sehun nods. “Why don’t you tell us about your love story?”

Kyungsoo knows he’s being cornered – he knew it would happen, but he really left home thinking that Zitao was the star of the day. He plays with the menu and recites,

“We were going out a lot lately and then Taemin asked if it was a date and I said yes. Then we went home after and had sex.”

“Touching,” Sehun says, faking an impressive reaction. He’s not good at it. “I’m barely containing my tears.”

“This is so random,” Jongin shakes his head, truly annoyed. “And I can smell a headache already. I mean, do you know that we are in selection to join an international tour?”

“Yes,” Kyungsoo nods. “I’m cheering for you two.”

“So, what’s going to happen? Then you would be okay with him being away for a long time? You guys are dating for what, two months…?”

“I don’t quite remember the date,” Kyungsoo says.

“Breathtaking,” Sehun continues, now reading the menu. “A story to remember.”

Kyungsoo is tired. He’s trying to convince himself not to leave when Tao walks in. He makes a scene, which would be just another day if he wasn’t being the center of the attention by his puffy eyes and sniffing. It was rare to see Huang Zitao in any public place without looking flawless and now he’s a mess. He sits on the remaining chair, throwing his big, valentine bag on the floor. Bad sign.

“Good morning,” he says. His cute pink sweater is wet. “I’m sorry I’m late.”

“It’s almost six…” Sehun mumbles. “Not morning anymore.”

“I don’t care,” Zitao cleans his nose with a silk handkerchief. “Time is irrelevant.”

It’s hard to argue with that, so they look at each other in a silent debate of who’s going to offer the shoulder first.

“So, my friend,” Jongin loses it, as always. “I… think you may want to share… what’s troubling you…?”

“We can see you had a bad day…” Sehun comes after, because after all, Zitao is his best friend. “Let it go. We’re here for that.”

“Let’s see,” Zitao says impatiently, wiping his nose again. “Maybe it was because I was dumped by my boyfriend who was actually all this time in love with his best friend and just using me to forget him? Is that a bad day for you?”

They stay in silence for a while. Zitao doesn’t look hopeless or too sad; he seems to be angry and he had the right to be. Kyungsoo is probably the worst person to be around in moments like this, but he learned that sometimes friends just want company when the times are bad. Kyungsoo leaves the table and asks for a nice slice of a chocolate cake and an ice tea. Zitao’s eyes glow when he is back.

“Thank you,” Zitao says, smiling. “You sure do know how to please a Taurus…”

“We know that you eat feelings,” Sehun says, weirdly fond. “So, if you wanna talk, talk. If you don’t, then just eat. It’s on us.”

Zitao makes an emotional sound. Jongin is just… very confused.

“I’m just so angry,” Zitao says, laying the strawberries on the cake. “I never lied to him, you know. I said, since the beginning that I wanted something serious. And I let him say what he wanted and how he wanted and not once I was like… so what are we exactly?”

“You just… go too deep,” Sehun mumbles. “You never learn.”

“I never fucking learn,” he eats a gigantic piece of the cake and munches angrily. “I just wanted some romance, you know. And the problem is that he’s super gentle, caring and attentive and of fucking course, my dumb heart would read this as love and not just being affectionate.”

“I’m sorry,” Jongin says and Kyungsoo knows he’s trying hard. The thing is that Jongin goes too hard on himself, so he gets visibly discomforted by Zitao’s non-afraid displays of fragility. Kyungsoo knows it because that’s something they have in common.

“Did you break up?” Kyungsoo asks because he likes to go straight to the point.

“What else I could do?” Zitao says, raising the fork and Jongin’s eyes widen because he got startled by his friend’s sudden action. “I don’t deserve being a replacement. I’m way better than that. I deserve being someone’s last love…”

“Yes, you do,” Sehun rubs his arm. “You’re an A, a 10, a whole meal.”

“And how did he react?” Kyungsoo asks.

“He said that he wouldn’t fight me, but he was sad because he likes me,” Zitao rolls his eyes. “Like. Not love, you see.”

“What an asshole,” Sehun takes his ice tea and drinks it. “I hate when they’re trying to be nice.”

Kyungsoo wants to say that it’s just how Jongdae is, but he can’t, because he’s on Zitao’s side of the situation. It’s weird; he can’t really figure out how someone gentle and chill as Jongdae would break someone’s heart. In the end, everyone is an asshole to someone, no matter how good people are.

“Oh, my god,” Jongin blinks, like he’s finally figuring out what happened. “But then… Baekhyun is dating Yixing… so… this is kind of…”

“Problematic,” Sehun says. “I mean, I’m friends with everyone, but anyone who breaks Yixing’s heart would be my number one enemy. And I love Baekhyun, so I want to believe that this is totally one-sided.”

“It won’t make me feel any better to see his heart break too,” Zitao says seriously. “I’m angry at him, but I’m not cruel. I don’t wish this to anyone.”

Jongin is scratching the back of his neck, confused.

“I said that because Yixing’s birthday is near,” he lets his hand slide on his shirt. “Aren’t we all invited?”

Yes, they are. The whole world, probably. Yixing is always afraid to hurt someone’s feelings and he has to invite every single person he knows to his parties. Kyungsoo suspects that he has a fund to pay it – everyone knows he comes from money, but he’s overworking himself and hardly spending as a wealthy man. Kyungsoo never sees him partying or having fun. Chanyeol used to complain that Baekhyun was like that lately, so, how were they keeping up with the relationship?

“Ugh,” Kyungsoo says out loud without noticing. Why can’t he erase Chanyeol completely from his mind?

The other three are staring at him. Kyungsoo gulps and bows.

“Sorry,” he says quickly. “I wasn’t—”

“We know you’re not into parties,” Jongin snorts. “But at least control yourself. Our friends will be there.”

“I thought you were okay with leaving your shell now that you’re dating,” Zitao says, biting a strawberry. “Why we don’t change the subject and you tell us how this is being a whole new experience for you?”

“You missed him telling us how it all started,” Sehun winks. “You would cry. It was like a book.”

Kyungsoo couldn’t run away forever of being roasted – normally, he didn’t do anything that could cause it, but dating was an inevitable topic for mocking. Jongin himself suffered for months, especially for being the only one dating a girl. Zitao and Sehun would make him do anything, claiming that ‘the resident straight’ should be the one in charge.

“He doesn’t have to tell me,” Zitao shrugs. “I bet they noticed after a while they were already dating after literally everyone knew it.”

“It was like that,” Sehun laughs.

“God, so predictable,” Tao wipes his nose. “But I’m glad you’ve decided to take this step, Kyungsoo. I know it means a lot, considering how you avoid people.”

It _was_ a lot. Not only the actual commitment of being in a relationship, but actually exposing himself to the world. He’s grateful that his friends get that.

“Are you two going together?” Jongin is holding a big cookie that Kyungsoo has no idea of how it got there. “I mean, to Yixing’s.”

“If we’re in the mood,” Kyungsoo shrugs.

“I feel like this thing is just a plot so you two can avoid social events,” Sehun adds.

“I’m there for the kinky sex,” Kyungsoo deadpans and enjoys how Jongin spits the unchewed piece of cookie. “And having a silent partner to watch movies.”

“Oh my god,” Jongin covers his mouth. “Please don’t give me details.”

“I should be more like you,” Zitao says, nostalgic like he’s actually thinking about it.

Sehun moves his chair closer to Kyungsoo and faces him seriously.

“I want the details.”

 

 

 

.

 

Kyungsoo is careful using the eraser, but the paper has a limit – he tries to draw the same scene about ten times. He can’t get the right emotional setting for it. He already figured out the color palette he will use, the effects, but he can’t draw in a way to convince himself that’s too deep. It was always his specialty: to draw in a realistic way, no matter how fantastical the style which was presented. He was always given the adult cartoons, old animation to do. Once in a while, he was given a concept, but he preferred to not create new things. He isn’t much confident in his original work.

He feels someone stop by his table, but he didn’t get moved by it. It’s probably Seulgi, passing by to chat or bring him coffee. She always works better after an exchange of words and Kyungsoo is used to her, so he could have a brainstorm.

He looks up. It’s a woman he only saw once, sitting in the cafeteria.

“Hi…” Kyungsoo says immediately, taking off his earphones. “Can I help you?”

“My name is Boah,” she bows. “I work upstairs, at the recording studio.”

“Nice to meet you,” Kyungsoo turns to her, dropping his pencil. He stands up respectfully.

“You’re Kyungsoo, right,” she points to the name on the table. “Have you seen the list of voice actors for the new animation? It’s hanging on the wall…”

Kyungsoo looks over her shoulder by reflex. It’s a paper hanging on the wall. He didn’t notice before – mostly because he was frustrated about his work and maybe a lot of other things.

“No, I haven’t,” he says. “Why?”

“Because you have been selected,” she says simply. “For the leading role. And I’ll produce it, so I thought I could talk to you. It makes me happy to see that our team can be more involved with our products…”

Kyungsoo doesn’t know exactly how to react; he keeps quiet and nods. She snorts at his reaction.

“I get this may be new to you… it’s your first voice acting work?”

“Yes,” he answers her. He’s still not believing.

“I can see that you’re busy right now,” she glances at his messed-up drawing. Kyungsoo wants to die. “Tomorrow, as soon as you arrive, come up to see me, right? I’ll show you around. You’ll have to be with us too, not for long, but I do like it when everyone gets to know each other.”

“Yes, of course,” is all he can say.

“I’ll see you, then,” she smiles, shaking the big coffee cup she’s holding. “Bye!”

Kyungsoo stays in the same place, not moving a muscle until a coworker passes by and shouts his name. It’s just a greeting, but he reacts as if he was shot. He sits on the chair and picks his phone.

 **Angry penguin @ maknae line:** I’m in the animation

He feels a wave of relief around his body and when he feels good enough to walk, he goes to the wall and takes a picture of his name on it. He sends it to Taemin.

 **Danger** : Congratulations <3

 **Danger** : I can’t believe it! I was going to call you. I received my acceptance email.

 **Danger** : I guess we both have a reason to party tonight :)

Kyungsoo smiles. This is really happening.

 

 

 

 

.

 

When Taemin said “Party,” Kyungsoo thought he meant: sex, food and nice napping. What he really meant: an actual party.

“I thought you wanted to go,” he says with a sad, kitten puppy face that until this moment, Kyungsoo wasn’t really sure he could do. “Jongin said you talked about it and Sehun confirmed.”

Kyungsoo throws his head back just a little bit and sighs. He was ready to stay at home. He got the food ready, shaved, put his old blanket on the bed so he could get it dirty and selected his best movies. Then, his boyfriend appeared at the door all dressed up and with makeup on like he was a fucking rockstar.

If Kyungsoo says no, he will look like a jerk.

“Fine,” Kyungsoo says, standing up with a little of reluctance. “But I won’t put effort to do anything.”

“No offense,” Taemin smiles. “But not me or anyone else is expecting the opposite.”

Kyungsoo knows that people mock his unenthusiastic self; he couldn’t care less. He picks his first all-black outfit and tries to ignore Taemin’s sarcastic commentaries. He puts on his glasses (sometimes, he avoids using them to have an excuse to ignore people) and perfume.

“Ready,” he announces.

They arrive pretty early and even like that, it’s already at least a hundred people there. Yixing is the most popular person Kyungsoo has ever met. Taemin is also very popular and people keep greeting him; Kyungsoo uses his acting classes to fake his smile every time he’s introduced to someone new.

Yixing’s house, it’s still the same classy, expensive but simple place. Everything is square and beige marble and the lights are on the ground as if it’s an award or something. People are everywhere, but Kyungsoo knows that Yixing will be probably doing some work that the staff he paid for should be doing. When they finally reach the stairs, Taemin squeezes Kyungsoo’s hand as if he’s trying to point something.

“Isn’t it your friend at the corner,” he whispers discreetly. Kyungsoo turns and finds Baekhyun, alone, drinking champagne on a glass. He’s sitting, looking breathtaking in a silver silk button-up; his beautiful eyeliner can’t hide his eyes are teary.

Kyungsoo nods in silence. He won’t bother anyone.

They find Yixing around the sound boxes. He looks genuinely happy to see Kyungsoo and that makes Kyungsoo feel bad. He really likes Yixing and he wished that he could express his feelings a bit better, but he can’t even go to events.

“Your gang is inside,” Yixing says loudly, trying to compete with the sound boxes. “Sehun already drank two bottles of wine, so you better be ready!”

Kyungsoo snorts and walks into the pool house. The music is loud and there is a cute girl making drinks; Kyungsoo is starting to feel comfortable under the dark lights, seeing his friends. Jongin catches him first and he’s with his girlfriend, so no one in the party can’t really compete with them.

“I thought you two wouldn’t come,” he screams; the music is really loud. “Sehun is trying to hit on a guy who could be his granddad!”

“I don’t think age should be a problem,” Yoona says elegantly, as she does anything, really. She’s drinking a piña colada. “I’m older than you.”

“Four years, not forty,” Jongin says indignantly. “Kyungsoo, you have to do something. He listens to you. He laughed at my face.”

Kyungsoo had witnessed sufficient times of Sehun getting drunk and losing his control over his dating choices. It was something that only close friends had the experience to watch. People had an absurdly wrong conception of Sehun, just because he looked too serious. If they met his petty, flirty and sarcastic true being, they would be shocked.

“He’s not being serious,” Kyungsoo says. “He’s just saying that to mock you and you fall every time.”

“I thought that the old guy was handsome,” Yoona says, shrugging. Jongin takes the drink away from her hand.

“No more drinks for you.”

Kyungsoo looks around for Sehun and he expects to see him around Zitao because that’s all he does. Zitao isn’t there, but… Chanyeol is.

Kyungsoo tries his best to not react any different. Lately, they have been interacting with social media as if they never had any problem. Kyungsoo likes Chanyeol’s pictures on Instagram and Chanyeol likes Kyungsoo’s pictures of his dishes back. If they cross paths at the gym, one of them says “hey” and the other nods.

“Here is too noisy,” Kyungsoo says. “Let’s stay outside.”

“You’re not Sehun’s babysitter, Jonginnie,” Taemin says in his unique way of mixing fond and mockery. “Go have fun…”

Kyungsoo looks back again at Sehun and Chanyeol, now that Jongin and Taemin are arguing and he and Chanyeol make eye contact for about a second; Kyungsoo turns back like nothing happened.

They leave to stay outside, where Jongin can finally talk about how he’s excited to be part of the tour. Kyungsoo wishes he had the focus to pay attention to that. He keeps glancing at the pool house, but Chanyeol doesn’t come out so soon. Baekhyun appears and he’s smiley and happy, no traces remaining of his tears. Kyungsoo actually has a good time, but before midnight he already wants to sleep.

Kyungsoo is fighting to keep his eyes open when he hears Jongin,

“Hey, hyung,” he smiles and waves his hand enthusiastically.

It’s Chanyeol, obviously. Kyungsoo thinks it’s a miracle that Jongdae isn’t with him. He’s chatting with a group and he waves back to Jongin. Of course, he’s using a sleeveless shirt in autumn.

“Hey,” he answers back. It seems like he’s okay with Jongin too. “Haven’t seen you there, cutie.”

He’s really bold to keep flirting like that, Kyungsoo thinks. Jongin likes this type of attention, so they smile. To Kyungsoo’s horror, Chanyeol approaches them.

“Hey, people,” he nods, opening a beer. He greets Yoona first and then he turns to Kyungsoo and Taemin, quietly in the corner. “Hello.”

“Hey,” Kyungsoo says, as they do every time. Chanyeol has a calculated blank face when he stares and Kyungsoo shouldn’t be as tense as he is.

Baekhyun is the one who breaks the ice, as always. It doesn’t take five minutes for them to scream and bicker. Kyungsoo yawns, because his body doesn’t care about his anxiety, apparently.

“Wanna go home?” Taemin asks.

“Yes,” Kyungsoo nods and he rubs his eyes, because he’s now a hundred years old. “I also want soup.”

“We can get soup in the way,” he snorts sleepily. “You don’t have to cook it…”

“Thank you,” Kyungsoo rubs his head on Taemin’s silk shirt without thinking much. “I wasn’t in the mood for it.”

“Hey, you two,” Jongin complains, throwing an empty can of beer on them. “Stop ignoring us.”

“We’re leaving,” Kyungsoo says. Baekhyun makes a long noise of complaining. Kyungsoo doesn’t care and stands up, stretching. “Bye, everyone.”

“This is so dumb, why can’t you guys just stay a little more?” Baekhyun asks. “It’s so hard to see you lately, Kyungsoo. I miss you.”

Kyungsoo is touched by that.

“You can talk to me and we can go out any day,” Kyungsoo says. “I was selected to do an acting job, so, I have reasons to celebrate. I’m just too sleepy now.”

“Is that the voice acting thing?” Chanyeol suddenly asks. He’s leaning on the balcony, drinking and Kyungsoo didn’t think he was paying attention. Kyungsoo nods.

“Yeah, it was. It’s an animation.”

“I knew you were going to get that part,” Chanyeol nods back.

“Thanks,” Kyungsoo says and waves them goodbye.

 

Before they leave the party Kyungsoo looks for Yixing to give him a last hug before going home. They stop to buy soup and then go home. Kyungsoo eats too much and he takes a while to sleep. He stares at the ceiling and thinks about the party. He doesn’t know why he can’t just move on from what happened in the last months. After all, he and Chanyeol are finally reaching this stage of being okay and Kyungsoo is doing great, way better than he used to be.

Maybe he just needs time to forget it.

 

 

 

 

 

.

 

 

Boah raises the beer high in the air.

“To Underdog,” she screams. Everyone at the table does the same. Kyungsoo laughs because one of the actors, Ryeowook, pours beer on his face accidentally. The smell of lamb makes him way more interested in the food than the beer, but he’s drinking because he wants to enjoy this night. It was his first month recording and it was a heavy time having two jobs, but he was happy doing it. Now, he’s feeling well, realizing he was actually born to do that – to use his voice. Seulgi has a beer beard and he points it to her discreetly.

“Sorry,” she snorts, wiping it. “I was too eager to drink.”

“That’s fine,” he says gently. “I’ve never gone to this place before.”

“Ah, it’s something I hide, my special place,” Boah says. “A lot of people come here to get cheap lamb and good beer, but the hipsters don’t like such thing. They prefer artisanal hamburgers and expensive beers.”

“I’ve been to a place like this and it’s full of creepy dudes,” Seulgi says, picking a chubby meat roll. “And everything is so expensive. It’s like in those places that sell coffee like is a full meal.”

“Yes,” Boah agrees enthusiastically. “And you know what? I like the people here. I mean, there is a lot of those Instagram-obsessed people, but it’s not like you have to be super formal to come here. I just want to drink beer, you know?”

“Ah, I know an amazing place that you’ll love, then,” Kyungsoo says. “It’s in the basement of a restaurant. No one can ever find it you know, someone who already knows the place takes you there.”

“Ohh,” Seulgi claps. “That sounds so cool.”

“It’s a really dark room with colorful lights, like a dance club, but with tables,” Kyungsoo describes. “And the menu is neon. They serve the food with some candles, it’s pretty nice.”

“How did you find that place?” Boah asks curiously. “You should take the cast there.”

“My boyfriend took me there. He knows a lot about underground things,” Kyungsoo says, finally eating a big piece of the lamb. “God, it’s delicious.”

“I thought you two broke up,” Seulgi crosses her arms, frowning. “I mean, he’s in Russia, isn’t he?”

“Yeah, he left a month ago,” he turns to Boah to explain. “My boyfriend is a ballerino. He’s presenting in some international theaters. I couldn’t go with him because of the movie.”

“Sorry about that,” Boah laughs and drinks again.

“No, I’m happy I stayed. I could only go for a week, anyway and he’s going to spend two months away. Also, I’m… really grateful about this opportunity. It’s all I’ve ever wanted.”

“Kyungsoo was born to do that,” Seulgi agrees. “He looks so focused with the headphones.”

“I do think you’re talented, Kyungsoo,” Boah agrees. “You should have been with us for a long time already. How do you work in the same studio and never went to a test?”

“I wasn’t confident about my skills,” Kyungsoo smiles shyly and looks down. “I mean, I draw there.”

 “You’re great. Lots of cartoonists draw, write and act,” she says simply. “You and Seulgi have been my good news in this new project. I’m glad you’re with us.”

“Ah, I kind of want to hug everyone,” Seulgi smiles and Kyungsoo knows that she’s already drunk.

“So, how about we go to that place after we finish here?” Boah suggests. “We don’t have work tomorrow morning, anyway.”

“I’m fine with it,” Seulgi smiles lazily and Kyungsoo slowly pushes her beer away from her.

“Let’s go,” Kyungsoo nods.

They finish the food and the beer and Boa pays for the whole meal. Ryewook and Kyungsoo hail the cabs and they get divided into two groups. It’s easy to get on to the place, but they have to wait a bit so everyone is there. Kyungsoo does exactly what Taemin did and they get into the basement with no problem. There’s loud music and the tables are almost all taken, but they get a small one in the corner. The cast enjoys the place and Kyungsoo records two of the actors trying a drink with fire.

He goes to the restroom and he struggles to pass by people on the line to get drinks. When he leaves the restroom, someone holds him. He turns back, but he hears the laugh before.

“Look where are you going to,” Chanyeol says. “It’s dark and someone can step on you.”

Kyungsoo slaps him playfully.

“Shut up,” Kyungsoo spits. “What are you doing here?”

“What else I could be doing? I don’t work here,” Chanyeol is drinking a pink, long drink. He’s using an actual shirt with long sleeves and his hair is dyed in another color that Kyungsoo can’t see which because it’s too dark. “And you? Thought you didn’t leave your shell.”

Kyungsoo looks back at his table by reflex.

“I’m here with my work friends,” Kyungsoo says, pushing up his glasses. “I can have fun sometimes.”

“Without your boyfriend around?” Chanyeol raises one eyebrow. A lady passes between them, carrying more beers.

“Please, don’t sound like straight guys,” Kyungsoo deadpans. “Being gay is the only thing keeping you away from being a fuckboy.”

“I was just curious,” Chanyeol leans to the wall behind him, looking down at Kyungsoo. “You don’t talk to me often…”

“Why do we have to talk?” Kyungsoo asks defiantly. “We’re not friends.”

Chanyeol drinks in silence, staring at him. He licks his lips and nods. He has a new tattoo on his chest, peeping up between the open buttons of his shirt.

“You’re right,” he says, finally. “Go and have fun, then.”

Kyungsoo nods back and leaves to join his friends, but now he’s distracted. He tries hard not to look back and glance. It’s ridiculous – he never just bumps into Chanyeol outside of the gym and just when he—

They made an agreement. It was a mutual, clean thing. Taemin took him out to a park late at night and they walked and talked about what could happen. Breaking up or pretending that nothing could happen within two months apart were two unrealistic options for them, so they got to the conclusion that they should just not talk about it. Whatever happened – just ignore it. This silence agreement wouldn’t be Kyungsoo’s thing, but having an open relationship wasn’t either; it would mess up his head. The simplest thing would be just not making a fuss about what they did away from each other.

Kyungsoo agreed because it was simple, not because he was planning anything. In fact, he would live as he used to. It’s not like he couldn’t live without a partner for just a small amount of time.

“Kyungsoo,” Seulgi calls him. “Do you want another drink?”

“Yes,” he mumbles. “Of course.”

“Come back to earth,” she says, smiling and when she stands up to get another drink, Kyungsoo looks around, unconsciously looking for Chanyeol. He sees the back of his shirt and then realizes that he’s hugging someone. Kyungsoo accepts the drink and he swallows it fast, letting the liquor burn in his throat.

“Wow,” Ryeowook says, snorting. “Calm down, Kyungsoo!”

Kyungsoo smiles and then, discreetly glances back at where Chanyeol was. Kyungsoo sighs – he’s definitely making out with a guy, which is no surprise. Why would he come to a place like this if not to find a fuck or something? Kyungsoo knows how people comment on his pictures and Chanyeol is an attractive, single man.

He _knew_ it, but _seeing_ it leaves a bad taste in his mouth. Or maybe it was the drink.

Kyungsoo drinks a bit more and he asks for another drink. He contemplates leaving the place and not coming back. It would be easy. He just needed an excuse. He stands up and takes money off his wallet, placing it in the table.

“What…?” Seulgi asks. She’s the closest to him at the table and she’s the least drunk – the tables have turned.

“I’m leaving,” he says. “Don’t drink more, okay? See you on Monday.”

“Bye,” she mumbles, confused. Kyungsoo takes his beer and walks to where Chanyeol is exchanging saliva with a stranger. Then he bumps into the back of Chanyeol and pours the drink on his shirt.

“Fuck, what,” Chanyeol turns back, fast, looking at his shirt. “Kyung—”

“Sorry,” Kyungsoo says, grabbing his wrist, pulling Chanyeol with him. “I’m really sorry.”

“What the hell,” Chanyeol says, following Kyungsoo out of the place. “What are you doing, man?”

Kyungsoo waits until they leave the basement; the restaurant upstairs is quiet and clean, compared to where they were. Kyungsoo turns to Chanyeol and… he’s blonde. Well, _damn_.

“You wetted my shirt and dragged me out for what?” Chanyeol asks and he’s at the limit of confusion, almost angry. “Like, did you drink that thing with fire and it melted your brain?”

“Do you want to come to my house and fuck?” Kyungsoo asks in a low voice, but firmly.

“What?” Chanyeol blinks, stepping away from him, but Kyungsoo is still holding his wrist.

“You hear me, Chanyeol,” Kyungsoo says. “Do you want or no?”

Chanyeol visibly gulps; Kyungsoo knows him pretty well, he’s so easy to read.

“You’re crazy,” Chanyeol says defensively. “What are you doing that for?”

“Yes or no, Chanyeol,” Kyungsoo says simply. “I don’t have the whole night.”

“Fuck, yes,” he breathes out.

“Good,” Kyungsoo says, pulling him again. “Let’s go, before anyone sees us.”

Chanyeol lets Kyungsoo drag him and Kyungsoo doesn’t say a word. He’s running against the time; he has to do it while the alcohol is still in his veins, otherwise he’ll realize how bad is that decision. They don’t exchange a word in the cab. Chanyeol glances at Kyungsoo all the time and Kyungsoo looks out of the window. It’s playing a chill, slow song and Kyungsoo wanted to have sex already, in a cool bed with open windows, where he could see the sky while fucking.

He looks at Chanyeol and it’s like there’s an electric wave between them.

They hold on until Kyungsoo closes the door behind them. Chanyeol grabs Kyungsoo by the waist and lifts him, pressing Kyungsoo against a wall with his whole body. Kyungsoo’s legs circles his waist and they kiss violently – there’s nothing gentle about it and fuck, Kyungsoo missed it. He missed this messy kiss and this careless touch on his body. He missed how Chanyeol’s hand grabbed him like he could taste with his palm.

“Room,” Kyungsoo says. Chanyeol isn’t in a hurry and he bites and sucks Kyungsoo’s neck like he hadn’t heard a word. “Room!”

“Damn, okay,” Chanyeol throws him over his shoulder like a sack. “You can’t just fucking wait, huh.”

He throws Kyungsoo on the bed like a sack, too. Kyungsoo makes a pained face for a second and pulls Chanyeol down by the legs with force. Chanyeol almost collapses over him, surprised with the movement. Chanyeol kneels on the bed and takes his shirt off. He’s way broader now and his skin is tan and shinning like he just left the beach. Kyungsoo licks his own lips.

“Take off your clothes,” Chanyeol says angrily. “I’m not gonna take them off.”

Kyungsoo takes his clothes off as fast as he can and allows Chanyeol to pull him into a comfortable position, but Chanyeol doesn’t do a thing. He just looks down at Kyungsoo.

“What?” Kyungsoo asks impatiently. Chanyeol looks like he wants to say something, but he just lowers his body to kiss Kyungsoo. Kyungsoo can’t really wait anymore so he grabs Chanyeol’s dick, holding it hard. Chanyeol moves his hips by reflex and Kyungsoo bites his lip.

Chanyeol pushes him away and picks his jeans on the floor. He takes a condom and opens it with his mouth, in a fast movement. Kyungsoo breathes hard.

“Finger yourself,” Chanyeol says without looking at him, putting on the condom slowly. Kyungsoo wants to watch the show, but he’s really horny, so he just rolls to the side and looks for lube on his nightstand. The bottle is almost empty, but Kyungsoo gets enough to put his fingers in. Chanyeol is standing, just watching in silence.

It feels like he doesn’t want to be there, but he can’t leave.

“I’m ready,” Kyungsoo says, lying in the bed; he spreads his legs open, but Chanyeol turns his body back in a single movement. Kyungsoo gets the message and gets on his hands and knees.

Chanyeol is a bit rough with his fingers and that makes Kyungsoo’s hand shaking in anticipation.

“Yes,” Kyungsoo mumbles.

“Yeah, this is what you wanted, right,” Chanyeol pounds into him; Kyungsoo swears, moving his hips back. “That’s all you want. Can’t keep your word…”

“Shut up,” Kyungsoo spits. He’s just trying to have a good time. He feels Chanyeol’s hands circling his hips.

“I do whatever I want,” Chanyeol says, angry, fucking him hard and merciless. “I’m not your fucking toy, Kyungsoo.”

Kyungsoo is really trying to find words to fight back, but he’s feeling way too good for that. He’s having good chills, curling his toes, licking his lips. He doesn’t care about what Chanyeol has to say.

“I should have made you beg,” Chanyeol continues. “I bet you would do it. You become a little dog when it’s about being dicked down. Look at you.”

Kyungsoo touches himself and Chanyeol’s words should be angering him, but he’s getting hornier. He moans out loud in response.

“Fuck, just come already,” Chanyeol loses his temper, holding Kyungsoo harder. Kyungsoo comes, because he’s being overstimulated and it feels like it’s too much. He keeps pushing his hips back, no matter how strong Chanyeol is fucking him. He takes a little while to come back to his senses; Chanyeol seems calmer and Kyungsoo waits patiently until he comes, a bit abruptly, holding his moan.

He feels a weird wave of pleasure of Chanyeol sliding off him.

“God,” Kyungsoo licks his lips. “That was good.”

He stays a minute in the same position, then he lets his body fall on the bed. He rolls over and he sees how Chanyeol is walking around, getting dressed. Kyungsoo is just breathing, his body still mushy from the orgasm and he doesn’t know why that feels weird. That’s what Chanyeol is supposed to do.

Chanyeol buttons his shirt and he looks annoyed, not someone who just got laid. Kyungsoo can feel the tension, but he could ignore it. He could just turn in the bed and sleep. Chanyeol obviously has emotional outbursts that Kyungsoo can’t contain or understand.

But Kyungsoo can’t help but do the right thing.

“What’s wrong?” Kyungsoo asks, gulping.

“Nothing,” Chanyeol says, putting on his watch.

“Chanyeol,” Kyungsoo sits up. “What’s wrong?”

Chanyeol snorts sarcastically and looks down at Kyungsoo.

“This,” he points to him and then Kyungsoo. “This is fucked up.”

“What, sex?” Kyungsoo frowns. “If this is about me being in a relationship, I’m not cheating on anyone. We can see other people.”

“I don’t care about your relationship,” Chanyeol says defensively. “Because you dating or not, you keep coming to me. So, what difference does it make?”

“And you’re mad about that?” Kyungsoo is annoyed by how cocky Chanyeol sounds. “You could have said no. I’m not forcing you to do anything.”

Chanyeol’s blonde hair is sticking to his sweaty forehead. He looks good, anyway.

“No, you’re not, you manipulative piece of shit,” Chanyeol says angrily. “You don’t think I’m stupid, do you? Because I know you did all this because you’re jealous.”

“I’m not jealous… I just wanted sex,” Kyungsoo wants to laugh. How can Chanyeol turn a simple thing into a mess like that? “If you’re going to offend me, then, just leave.”

“Great,” Chanyeol says, crossing his arms. “Then I’ll leave and next time you feel horny and needy, will you knock on my door again? You do all this ethic speech and it all vanishes when you wanna get some dick.”

“I don’t need you,” Kyungsoo says. “I have everything I want, now.”

“Then why the fuck I’m here?” Chanyeol asks, angry.

“Because you wanted to,” Kyungsoo answers impatiently.

“The thing is,” Chanyeol walks closer to the bed. “I always want to fuck you. I’ve always wanted, to be more correct. If you ask me, I won’t say no. I don’t have a reason to do so. I don’t get a thing to lose, because clearly, I have no self-respect or dignity. But you can say no and you should say no, because ‘you don’t need me’. Then, what’s the reason I’m here? You just can’t live without playing with my feelings?”

Kyungsoo wasn’t expecting to be lectured after sex. This is a whole new experience.

“I want you,” he says because he doesn’t even have the energy to lie or to find an excuse.

Chanyeol seems to be taken aback with Kyungsoo’s sincerity.

“I know that,” he says, recomposing himself. “But you can’t just have what you want when you want.”

“Then why are you here?” Kyungsoo asks the same question.

Chanyeol stares at him for a few seconds, grabs him by the shoulders and kisses him.

 

 

 

 

 

 

.

 

 

 

Kyungsoo wakes up and he tastes alcohol and guilt in his mouth. He moves in the bed, looks up at the ceiling and just breathes for a moment. He’s alone and that doesn’t surprise him at all. He picks his phone from the nightstand and sits on the bed. He thinks a little about who he can reach out to, in a time like this and to his surprise, the most suitable choice is Sehun. He sends a message and leaves the room. He takes a long bath and looks at his body in the mirror – he looks like he had a huge fight and he probably did. He makes his breakfast full of comfort food: fat pancakes, honey, chocolate, waffles and miso soup, sits on the couch and watches a cartoon.

He feels like an addict.

Kyungsoo always followed his own rules very tightly. Thinking about last night, he realizes that Chanyeol was right to throw a tantrum. Nothing of that should have happened; it was a bad mix of alcohol, lust, and jealousy. Kyungsoo wasn’t using his brain and he fucked up badly. From all the people in the world that he was allowed to fuck, he had to go back to that mess?

Kyungsoo eats his pancakes slowly and watches the door opening. Sehun pops up and looks around.

“You came way too fast,” Kyungsoo points. “I thought you were sleeping.”

“I was,” Sehun said. “But I saw the message. Since you never ask for help, I had to come see what an emergency looks like. The house seems to be fine.”

“The house is fine,” Kyungsoo drinks his juice. “I’m the problem.”

“Wow,” Sehun says, impressed. “I never thought I would witness such a confession. Is the rest of the gang coming too?”

“No,” Kyungsoo shakes his head. “It’s a secret, so I only called you.”

Sehun is genuinely touched by that he walks to Kyungsoo and sits next to him. He’s using his pink pajamas and he has barely washed his face. He touches Kyungsoo’s shoulder and even if everyone reads Sehun’s emotions as if they’re all sarcasm, Kyungsoo is sure he’s about to cry.

“Hyung,” he says. “I’m so proud you trust me. I’ll keep everything a secret, I swear.”

“Okay…” Kyungsoo nods and offers his pancakes because he’s not sure of what to do. Sehun puts a whole pancake into his mouth. “It’s… not that serious…”

“Maybe it is and you’re doing that thing where you undervalue yourself and your problems, hyung,” Sehun says, drinking from Kyungsoo’s juice and leaning on the couch. “Just talk and I’ll listen. You don’t have to make excuses.”

Kyungsoo draws on the plate using honey.

“I’m having a weird sexual relationship with someone lately.”

“Is that Chanyeol-hyung?” Sehun asks simply. Kyungsoo stares at him.

“How do you know?”

“He tried to tell me once, but I didn’t believe it. Then I just had to connect the dots of this story. You two… your eyes… tell a lot.”

Kyungsoo doesn’t want to think about what that means.

“Okay,” Kyungsoo nods. “So, you know I had posted that picture.”

“Yes.”

“I did it because of Chanyeol… he made a move, but in the end, he just wanted to humiliate me. So, it was a way to get back at him.”

“Yeah, I thought that you were probably just getting revenge,” Sehun nods. “The probability of Chanyeol doing a stupid thing is way higher.”

“But we… started having sex… but it wasn’t very healthy. We decided, then, just to be polite and be friends. It was working nice until last night, when I brought him home.”

“You.”

“Me,” Kyungsoo says. “I was there, I saw him with someone and I… think I snapped. I think that’s how people say it.”

“Yeah,” Sehun laughs. “Yeah, it is.”

“This is so weird,” Kyungsoo is trying to find some sense in his actions. “I don’t really want to date him or to be with him but at the same time I’m the one not letting it go?”

“Well, Chanyeol-hyung always had a special place in your heart…” Sehun considers. “Maybe you two are in different moments, right now. Because you two were pretty much best friends when we were teenagers.”

“Maybe we grow up to be different people,” Kyungsoo says. “And we can’t understand each other anymore.”

“Or maybe you two kept too much feeling and words inside and now you can’t deal with them stuck there,” he points to Kyungsoo’s chest. “Because I’m sure you two truly love each other. Maybe you’re not in love, but you care about him, hyung. And he does too.”

“How do you know that?”

“No offense, but we have been friends for a while… It’s pretty easy to tell. It’s more than a decade, hyung,” Sehun stretches his hand on the backrest and looks up. “Sometimes we love someone, just a friend or maybe a boyfriend, I don’t know, but we don’t always get along with each other. We need a break or we’re having a bad phase.”

Kyungsoo thinks about that. He and Chanyeol really met again after years in a bad phase for the both of them. Chanyeol was just out of service and he was a mess; Kyungsoo was frustrated because he was still anxious and afraid even after so much time trying hard. Now they are getting back on their roads, Kyungsoo can’t feel like he can’t stay away from Chanyeol… because he never thought he would have to. He’s still friends with all of his high school friends, even the ones he wasn’t that _close_ with.

“You’re right,” Kyungsoo nods. “We don’t know how to be like we used to and we keep making mistakes.”

“I think you two need a real break,” Sehun says. “Like, stay completely away from each other for a while, until you fix this thing.”

“Yes, this was my original plan. But it was a mess back then,” Kyungsoo leans in the couch too and his head touches Sehun’s. “Now I think I can make it work. I don’t want this to become a toxic relationship.”

“I hope you can do it, hyung. I missed the whole gang together,” Sehun says. “Now everyone is mad at everyone…”

“What’s happening with Baekhyun?” Kyungsoo asks, suddenly remembering Yixing’s party. “Is he okay? He wants to talk to me, but I never have time…”

“Baekhyun…” Sehun sighs. “He tried to hard to have the perfect life since he got out and I think he just realized that life is never how he wants to.”

“Deep,” Kyungsoo smiles.

“Yeah, I’m a man of deep feelings,” Sehun says nonchalantly. “I also think he feels lonely, now he’s there. Yixing-hyung doesn’t even sleep, so he barely has time to spend with Baekhyun. And now Chanyeol is busy, we’re busy and Jongdae is avoiding him…”

They exchange a significant look.

“… so he’s by his own all the time and he doesn’t like to be alone,” Sehun adds. “Even if he’s working his ass off. But I don’t think he can admit defeat, also.”

Kyungsoo thinks about that. There’s always something missing, no matter how much they achieve. He should ask Baekhyun out to do some stuff.

“I see,” Kyungsoo licks his lips. “We’re all fucked up, then.”

“We are,” Sehun nods.

“Hey, back there, at Yixing’s party. Were you really going for that old man?”

“Nah, I was just stressing Jongin,” Sehun snorts. “I’m back to my ex.”

 

 

 

 

 

.

 

Kyungsoo waits on his chair, drinking coffee and holding the phone against his ear. He’s happy that he’s not the only one who went to work after a hangover, but at the same time, he’s not in the mood for talking and he’s tired of trying to go discreetly to the bathroom.

“ _Hello,_ ” Taeyeon answers the call. “ _Are you really calling the gym, Kyungsoo? Did somebody die?”_

“No,” Kyungsoo frowns, but then he realizes that his anxiety made him avoid calling people for time enough for them to think that this was impossible. “But I’m calling to sign out the gym.”

“ _Oh, my god, why,”_ Taeyeon seems genuinely worried. “ _Are those boxing guys harassing you?”_

“No,” Kyungsoo says. “I’m having two jobs. One of them is temporary and I can’t keep up with the Pilates while I’m doing it.”

“ _Oh, that’s sad._ ”

“Yeah,” he says. It’s truly sad, because going to Pilates was his favorite therapy. “When I have time, I’ll join you again. Can you send me the documents by email?”

“ _Of course. Send us back when you get it signed._ ”

 

Kyungsoo uses the excuse to get to the print to go to the bathroom again. He’s not having a stomach ache, but his body is convinced that he needs to put out something – a ghost feeling because he and Chanyeol did unprotected sex. Now, Kyungsoo has another problem, since he has to wait a month to get tested. And he has to because he doesn’t trust Chanyeol at all.

He picks the documents and signs them. The pen is not working fine and he comes back to his table to pick another. He opens his bag, where he has his entire drawing material. Kyungsoo hardly throws things out and he keeps even childhood pens if they work. He looks at his full bag and analyses it. He picks a new pen he just bought and puts in his pocket. Then, he grabs his bag and turns it upwards to let the things on it fall to the floor.

He selects the old ones and throws the rest in the garbage.

 

 

 

.

 

It’s a cold Friday and he’s in a need of a better coat, mostly because the airport is almost empty so late at night. Kyungsoo wanted to sit down and read his lines again because he’s doing great, but he has still few scenes to finish for the movie. He never expected a movie to be so long before the final cut and he wants to forget that he’s recording many scenes that won’t make it.

Baekhyun sends a meme on his phone and Kyungsoo doesn’t understand, but he sends emoticons laughing and crying at the same time.

He checks on his watch. The flight time is near.

Yoona runs to him, still drying her hand with paper.

“Are the gates open?” She checks, looking around.

“Not yet,” he smiles. “Don’t worry, we got time.”

“It’s my first international fight,” she says, sitting next to him. “I’m nervous. I mean, in a good way.”

“It’s mine too,” Kyungsoo folds the papers in his hands. “But my friend made me drink last night, so I’m too hungover to worry.”

She laughs.

“You’re a party guy, now,” she mocks him, poking his belly. “But still working… drop those things. Let’s have fun… It’s just for a week and a half. Not that much.”

“I know,” Kyungsoo says. “But I wish I had my entire work already done so I could go without thinking about it.”

“Work never truly ends,” Yoona sighs. “This is the basis of capitalism…”

“Don’t get too critical, I’m still hungover,” Kyungsoo pretends he’s talking seriously.

“Shut up,” she elbows him. “I’m just so nervous. I can’t wait to see the spectacle. Ah… I think I’ll drink too.”

“Take a strong chamomile tea,” Kyungsoo advises. “It helped me a lot during anxious moments.”

“A warm cup of tea,” she says. “Yeah, if it doesn’t work, then at least I’ll get warm. It feels so cold to be away from the person you like for too long. I never thought I would be that attached. I’m a Gemini, people always say I’m too detached but here I am. Love is a funny thing, isn’t it?”

“I wouldn’t know,” Kyungsoo mumbles when she walks away to get tea. “I… guess.”

He takes his cell phone out of his pocket and checks the old file that he put the old pics he scanned. It was mostly from his family and baby pictures, but it had few from his school friends. He clicks on one of them and it opens.

It was Christmas and he was seventeen years old. He and Chanyeol are eating cake and smiling to the camera. He stares at it and then turns off his phone.

The gates open.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks sis <3


	5. moon rising

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I… I have a confession to make…” Chanyeol whispers. “Which is something I’m doing for myself. I’m not expecting you to say anything back to me.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks <3 Midou <3 
> 
> alcohol abuse and fights.

 

 

 

.

The noise of the door violently being opened doesn’t wake up someone who lives with Kim Jongdae, but the singing definitely does. Not because it’s good or bad, but because it’s a special song:

“Happy birthday to you… Happy birthday to you…” Chanyeol rolls in the bed and opens his eyes. “Happy birthday Chanyeol!”

He sits up, rubbing his eyes. Jongdae is holding the cake and he’s actually surprised to see so many friends at once. Even Baekhyun is there – making noise and throwing confetti. Taeyeon climbs up his table with her phone to record better and Sehun has a champagne in his hands.

“Happy birthday, Chanyeollie,” Jongdae sings and bends a little to help Chanyeol to blow the candles. It’s a big, naked cake and it looks good, so Chanyeol gets anxious to blow the candles before it ruins the cake. “No, make a wish before doing it!”

Chanyeol closes his eyes. It’s too much pressure – he just woke up and his brain isn’t in his full capacity yet. His friends keep signing and he bites his lips and nods. _What do you want, what do you want, what—_

He thinks about Kyungsoo.

No, _money._ True love. A new car? Kyungsoo again. Fuck, at least five more pounds. No—No pain, no gain. He needs to work hard to get what he wants. He won’t get anything by luck.

 _That my mom lives a lot,_ he decides. That’s important. And he blows the candles.

“Happy 26, Chanyeol,” Baekhyun laughs. “Now we’re the same age and we are no longer young babes.”

“Yeah, but I’m like fine wine,” Chanyeol flexes and Taeyeon makes a deep sound of disgust. “You should be proud of me.”

“I am,” she says, recording him and smiling. “And I’ll be even prouder if you don’t eat like ten slices of cake.”

“Fuck, today is my birthday,” Chanyeol pouts and Jongdae bites the cake just to make him mad. “I can’t even have fun…”

“Actually, hyung,” Sehun says, still trying to open the bottle. “We are going to take you later, today. We called your boss so you could leave work early.”

“But I still can go to the gym, right?” Chanyeol gets out of the bed and stretches. Baekhyun takes a picture of him. “Ah, let me look good first… I just woke up.”

“You look great,” Jongdae says. “Now let’s eat the cake!”

Chanyeol has a nice morning. He eats the cake and laughs with his friends. He keeps what’s left of the candles to remember and goes to visit his family. His father gives him a nice amount of money as a gift and Chanyeol decides to buy himself pretty things. He works in the evening and his coworkers sing happy birthday for him. Steph gives him a cute cupcake. He gets tons of messages on his Instagram. At the end of the day, the gym guys send him a funny arm flexing keychain and he puts it in his bag.

His last birthday was so sad. He was still in service and he was beyond tired. A year later, it seems like every door in his life has opened and he feels relaxed, full, with nothing to complain. He’s doing better at his job, he has a good group of friends, lives in an okay place and he feels confident in his body. He wants more, of course, but he can’t complain at all.

That’s why while he’s sitting at the pub, late at night, he doesn’t understand why he keeps checking his phone. More messages from followers and friends pop up but he doesn’t get satisfied with them.

“… I was just telling Chanyeol that,” Sehun says and Yixing is laughing so much that he’s dropping the beer on himself. “I swear, wasn’t it, hyung?”

“… Huh, yeah,” Chanyeol smiles and nods, but he isn’t very convincing, because Jongdae takes his phone away from his hand. “Hey!”

“You should stay away from that for a while,” Yeri says. “I heard the radiation in phones kills spermatozoids.”

“Chanyeol won’t have kids,” Juhyun laughs. “He doesn’t care…”

“The kitchen is closing in thirty minutes,” Baekhyun checks. “Do you guys want something to eat?”

“No,” Chanyeol shakes his head. “I want another beer.”

“Go slow,” Jongdae frowns. “If you get too drunk, I won’t carry you home.”

“I would… it’s his birthday…” Yixing smiles until his dimple shows and he leans on his chair. “Ah, I’m so glad I’m here. I missed you guys. Haven’t seen you since my birthday and we had no time to talk…”

“We missed you too,” Sehun side hugs him and leans his head on Yixing’s shoulder. “You should not be overworking himself, hyung. Your pretty face is getting ugly eyebags.”

“Maybe with Sehun saying so, he’ll listen,” Baekhyun drinks his beer and licks his lips. “I’m done trying for now.”

“You’re never done with anything,” Yixing laughs. Sehun nods and maybe Chanyeol is getting drunk, but he agrees because he has never met someone who refused as much to give up as Baekhyun. It’s both a gift and a curse.

“Maybe I am,” he says mysteriously. His words linger for a moment and Chanyeol asks himself why.

“I have to go,” Yeri says. “Gotta wake up early for School.”

“This is what we have to deal with when we ask actual children out,” Jongdae says, pointing and smiling. “Don’t you have to go too, Sehun?”

“Yes,” Sehun nods and Chanyeol thinks he didn’t realize he’s being mocked. “I have class early.”

Jongdae laughs, his whole body shaking. Chanyeol smiles too. He’s truly happy, so happy that he doesn’t even mind that his night ends early – his heart is full and he’s satisfied. He and Jongdae walk home and eat churros and Chanyeol can’t stop smiling.

“I’m glad I’m twenty-six,” Chanyeol says. “It’s a lucky age.”

“You do look happy,” Jongdae comments; his eyes are showing that he’s sleepy too. “But you keep staring at your phone.”

Chanyeol doesn’t say anything for a moment, because it’s true, but he doesn’t know how to explain.

“I want to see if I got birthday messages so I can reply…” he says when he figures out the reason.

Jongdae stares at him and laughs.

“Any special person you’ve been waiting to call?”

Chanyeol shrugs. “No, I think. I just feel good when I think that people like me enough to remember my birthday.”

They walk in silence for a while. Their apartment is near and, because it’s not late, the streets are warm with people and Chanyeol doesn’t feel tired or like he has to run. Yet, Jongdae is right, there’s something missing… Chanyeol is expecting something. Maybe he’s just being insatiable as he normally is. Maybe it’s just a lingering feeling about waiting for something new.

“You wanna know something I’ve learn in the last months, friend?” Jongdae says casually and Chanyeol nods slowly because he can’t really predict if this is an important thing or not. “To not try to pretend that I can’t hear myself.”

“Everyone can hear you,” Chanyeol frowns. “Like, from Mars people can hear you.”

“I was talking about ignoring my own thoughts and intuition but thanks,” Jongdae nods. “I’d like to think that if my academic career fails, I can just be a street singer.”

“I don’t understand what you’re trying to say,” Chanyeol stretches a bit and fights the urge of checking his phone. They’re almost home.

“I’m just saying that just ignoring what you feel won’t change anything,” Jongdae says.

Chanyeol looks at him, intrigued.

“And _why_ are you telling me that?”

Jongdae shrugs and kicks a small stone in his way. Chanyeol doesn’t ask anything else. He just gets home, answers his messages and checks his Instagram for the hundred time. Now that he’s getting popular and he has lots of followers, it seems like there’s always something happening, but it’s just random people interacting. It feels like he has lots of attention, but in the end, it’s intangible and he’s still waiting for something else. Someone else. Chanyeol wants to ask Jongdae more, but he doesn’t want to expose himself anymore. People say that he’s obvious, but maybe he’s showing his feelings way too much.

Chanyeol is probably the dumbest man on earth, but he’s missing Kyungsoo – a lot.

He knows Kyungsoo isn’t even in the same country than him and he knows that he was the one to complain that Kyungsoo came to him, but… it’s difficult to live completely apart from him. Chanyeol doesn’t feel free now that Kyungsoo is unreachable. He feels…

He gets up and walks to Jongdae’s room, taking his pillow and blanket with him.

He knocks on the door.

“Come in, Chanyeol,” Jongdae says and he sounds tired. Chanyeol puts only his head in to check. Jongdae is staring at him.

“Can I sleep with you?”

“Yes,” Jongdae rubs his face with one hand and taps the bed with the other. “I know you want to talk.”

Chanyeol puts his pillow and blanket happily next to him and accommodates himself.

“Huh… so it’s about someone…” He tries. “I’m thinking about lately…”

“Ok, Kyungsoo,” Jongdae yawns. “What else?”

Chanyeol stares at him with wide eyes. Jongdae stares back with sleepy eyes.

“How do you know…?”

“How doesn’t everybody know?” Jongdae asks. “At this point, it is pretty obvious.”

Chanyeol buries his face on the pillow, rolling his body on the bed. He turns back after a muffled, angry groan.

“I don’t understand anything lately,” Chanyeol complains. “I am totally fine without him. Like, he’s… It’s not like I need him around anymore? My life is super great. I actually have good sex if I want to. I had such a fun day, but I keep thinking about him and all he does is to make me feel bad. Then why I can’t just kick him from my life? I said that to him, I told him I was uncomfortable with being his booty call or something but here I am waiting for him to call—”

Jongdae covers Chanyeol’s mouth with a hand.

“I want to sleep and I can’t wait for your slow conclusion, so I’ll make it short for you,” he takes his hand away from Chanyeol’s face, just to raise a finger and then bop his nose. “You’re in love.”

“No,” Chanyeol says immediately.

“Yes, Chanyeol,” Jongdae says patiently. “You love him. And you know what’s worse? I think you were in love back in school too.”

“No,” Chanyeol repeats absently. He wasn’t – it was just a crush. He was a hormonal teenager. He had a thing for round asses and cute tiny people. That’s all.

“Yes,” Jongdae sighs. “And Kyungsoo loves you back.”

“What?” Chanyeol wakes up from his thoughts. “Now, this is even worse. I doubt that he even has a functioning heart. It’s an iceberg.”

“Chanyeol,” Jongdae sits in the bed, yawning. “Listen, but look… listen carefully.”

“I am listening.”

“Kyungsoo has a master degree in ignoring things,” Jongdae points. “He doesn’t care about stuff, he never picks fights, he avoids any conflict around him. Am I right?”

“Yes,” Chanyeol nods slowly.

“So you told me that you kinda made out with him and then mocked him and stopped whatever stuff that you two were doing,” Jongdae says. “And maybe, have been a bit angry and mistreating him. And then, he decided to invade your internet accounts, fucked you in a love hotel and took a picture of you half-naked and asleep in your own Instagram and then posted it online, which, by the way, could get him arrested?”

“Yes,” Chanyeol mumbles.

“Do you agree that’s a bit overreacting?” Jongdae makes a gesture with his fingers to indicate the “a bit” part. “I mean, even for you, who basically overreacts over anything, I would think like that, but for Kyungsoo? Who I’ve never seen doing anyone wrong?”

“Yeah…” Chanyeol frowns. “I mean, I would never expect him to do so…”

“Chanyeol, if there is a reason why all this mess started, is that because you two are really affecting each other,” Jongdae concludes, laying in bed again. “You are just trying to find reasons to get each other’s attention, making excuses to have sex and to keep in touch. But you are both stubborn dumbasses that found the worst way to do that.”

Chanyeol stares at the ceiling for a while.

“Jongdae?”

“Huuhnmmm…” Jongdae moans, tired.

“Hnnn… assuming that… you’re kind of right,” Chanyeol tries, covering himself with the blanket. “Then… why does he date someone else…”

“Well, going out to get tattoos and flirt with strangers isn’t Kyungsoo’s strongest point,” Jongdae says. “I guess he’s trying to cope, just like you.”

Chanyeol cuddles him and rubs his face on Jongdae’s shoulder. Jongdae tries to pat his head.

“What do you think I should do…?” Chanyeol pouts.

“Sleep.”

“Jongdae!”

“Stop pretending you don’t care,” Jongdae says and he sounds… a bit emotional. “That won’t take you anywhere.”

Chanyeol thinks about that until he falls asleep.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

.

 

He waits outside the door, drinking coffee to distract himself. The radio is having famous guests and people are running around with cameras. Normally, Chanyeol would join them, but now he’s in the middle of a big decision. He didn’t talk to anyone, really. He just sat down and analyzed his life choices. After weeks of being confused, something is still screaming inside of him about what happened on his birthday; he shouldn’t do anything to change his situation since he reached a comfortable zone, but at the same time, Chanyeol has an adventuring spirit – he doesn’t like comfortable for too long.

Stephanie opens the door and checks who’s waiting for her. Her long, rounded earrings swing slowly. Her hair is short now and she has bangs.

“Hey,” she frowns. “What happened, friend?”

“I… Can we talk?” Chanyeol stands up and rubs his shirt unconsciously. “It’s a formal conversation.”

Steph seems curious, she leans her head and whispers:

“Is it about… your ex?”

“He’s not my ex,” Chanyeol sighs. “Yes and no. He has to do with it, but it’s about work.”

She nods and gestures for him to come in. Chanyeol feels weird because he was used to sitting behind that table, but now he’s back to his old spot. The room is back to its pink mess and the plants are alive and well. He sits on the chair and waits for her to accommodate.

“So,” Steph starts. “Please don’t tell me you’re leaving.”

“No, but… I want to,” he says and gets anxious when she widens her eyes. “Not away from the radio… but from this place.”

“What do you mean?”

“I know you’re working back at your city, abroad,” Chanyeol starts, fidgeting with a clip on her table. “And I just wanna say… hmm, if you need someone to work with you outside of here, then I am ready for that. If you need help…”

Steph faces him, surprised and amused. She holds her face with both hands and put her elbows on the table, examining him.

“That’s nice,” she says. “But quite… unexpected, Chanyeol. What motivated you to do so? You look happy here…”

“I am,” he explains quickly. “I’m super satisfied right now. But I want to keep growing, so…”

“I like that,” she nods. “Honestly, your hunger is something that I had when I was younger and it made me the person who I am today.”

“You’re three years older than me,” Chanyeol points. “And you’re a workaholic.”

“Small details,” she leans back in the chair. “I’ll let you know in case I find a spot you can be. Have you ever been to California?”

“No,” he shakes his head. “I would love to…”

“Well, then try to get your English in a good shape,” Steph says. “If you want to go, you need to speak the language and, if I call you, you’ll have no time to sit down and study. Also, save money, just in case.”

He nods eagerly – he didn’t expect her to be so receptive. It was a shot in the dark. She looks at him knowingly, like he can’t hide something. Normally, Chanyeol can’t hide anything.

“How is this about your ex?” She asks curiously. “You said yes and no.”

Chanyeol sighs, scratching his arm.

“I heard that when you have any type of addiction, you need to get out of this space. Change the environment, not just stop the things.”

“Are you treating this as an addiction?” She laughs nervously, a bit shocked. Chanyeol knows he’s being drastic, but he’s not a fan of being in the middle.

“I kind of stole a friend’s phone to know about him, because he doesn’t have social media besides food-related posts,” Chanyeol confesses. Sehun didn’t notice because he was too naïve sometimes. Chanyeol went to their group chat and found Kyungsoo’s pictures with his boyfriend in a very cold place. They looked happy and Chanyeol felt bad till the next day, breaking his diet twice with very high caloric ice-creams. “So, yeah. I think I am… kind of… obsessed.”

Admitting is the first step.

“I’ve been there,” Stephany sighs heavily, taking her phone off her pocket. She types on it and gives it to Chanyeol. “Two years of my life crying over a heartbreak. Look at my evil ex.”

Chanyeol stares at the screen in shock.

“This is my trainer…?” Chanyeol blinks.

“Taeyeon?” Steph screams. “Is she your trainer?”

“Yes,” Chanyeol mumbles. “And she really is evil!”

“Oh my god,” Steph slaps her table loudly. “I know, right?”

Chanyeol gives back her phone and thinks about how small the world is. Now, he’s bonding with his boss about their tiny evil exes.

“He’s not my ex,” Chanyeol whispers to himself, but then shakes his head as if that would make Kyungsoo go away. “Sorry, Steph.”

“You know,” she crosses her arms, thoughtful. “I will think about that carefully, Chanyeol. Sometimes I think that we may be wasting our times here. I don’t know. The US may be a mess, but it’s a lot more interesting and freer. Maybe if…”

Chanyeol waits, but she’s just thinking.

“No,” she says, biting her lips. “Go do your stuff. I’m still planning it.”

“Okay,” Chanyeol bows. “Thank you for your time, anyway.”

Chanyeol leaves the room and he feels like he just lost a pound. He’s more confident, now he just talked what he wanted to. But now he has even more things to do and he can’t just sit down and wait. He’s determined and focused.

His phone vibrates.

 

**dks_93 just posted a photo for the first time in a while**

Chanyeol’s finger dances over the screen. He doesn’t have to see the photo. It’s probably a dumb dish that he’s having during his dumb travel with his dumb friends and boyfriend. Chanyeol isn’t interested in anything that Kyungsoo does. They aren’t friends anymore, they have no benefits, no relation at all. He repeats that mantra a few times before falling into an emotional outburst and clicking to see the damn picture.

It’s not food.

It’s Kyungsoo kissing a dog on the street.

Chanyeol’s heart hurts.

 

 

 

.

 

Chanyeol bought new, bright sneakers. He’s using an expensive new shirt that he cut the sleeves off to fit his aesthetic and his new pants show off the new butt he has been spotting since he started to do the gluteus training. Chanyeol is just fixing his hair in the mirror before going out to make people wish they look as good as him.

“Can’t you do that in your room,” Jongdae complains. He spits one of the popcorns that he’s been eating and rubs his feet – under the hello kitty socks – until he kicks it out of the bed. “You put too much perfume and it’s ruining my meal.”

“No, your mirror and lighting are way better than mine,” Chanyeol says, checking his comma hair one more time. “Do you think I need some eyeliner?”

“No, you look shiny as a turkey in Christmas and hot as a hot pocket,” Jongdae eats one popcorn that landed in his dirty, baggy shirt. “You’re fine, please, go away.”

“I can order food, I can see you suffering with this the popcorn thing,” Chanyeol turns back to check his ass. “Maybe now people will want to eat that… I never get to be licked down there because I didn’t have a butt.”

“Awaaaaaaaaaaaae,” Jongdae screams, leaning his head back and trying to block his ears with his hands. “No oversharing! I want to watch this movie in peace!”

Chanyeol looks at him and sighs. Jongdae looks like one of those romcom sad protagonists after a breakup.

“You should come with me,” Chanyeol says. “You look terrible, but I think you could look okay with like, and a good bath.”

“I don’t wanna go anywhere,” Jongdae complains. “It’s late anyway? You took two hours to get ready, why you don’t go while you can?”

“I’m worried about you being alone here again,” Chanyeol says sincerely. “When you have to study, I understand, but now you don’t even have things to do. You should come with me and have some fun.”

“I’m having fun,” Jongdae argues. “Not moving. Taking a nap. Chilling.”

“When was the last time you got laid?” Chanyeol raises an eyebrow. Jongdae shrugs. “You got none since you broke-up, right?”

“Sex isn’t the main goal of my life,” Jongdae points. “And maybe there isn’t anyone for me in that party.”

“You’re single, young and bisexual,” Chanyeol sighs and counts on his fingers. “I guarantee you that you’ll get tons of people to hit on.”

“Ah, I don’t want to,” Jongdae whines. “Leave me alone.”

Chanyeol is about to give up, but he has a brilliant idea. He walks to the bed and sits down.

“If you come with me today and the party ends up being boring, then I’ll never ask to come with me again.”

Jongdae side-eyes him suspiciously.

“Pinky promise?”

“Pinky promise.”

They interlace their pinkies and Chanyeol smiles widely.

“Go take a bath, you stink to butter!”

Chanyeol uses his stories to take pictures of himself while he’s looking flawless and to expose Jongdae’s choices of clothes. Seungwan leaves a comment and he asks her in the chat if she’s going too. When she says yes, he asks about her friends.

“Did you choose the outfit,” Jongdae walks in, drying his hair with the towel. “Please tell me you’re not taking pictures of my room.”

“Do you know who’s going to be there?” Chanyeol teases. “That cute friend of the girls, Sooyoung.”

“And?” Jongdae puts his underwear, unaffected.

“And she’s hot? I’m trying to be a wingman here,” Chanyeol says. “Also, Seungwan too. She said that Sooyoung thinks you’re cute.”

Jongdae almost coughs in surprise.

“What? No,” it’s cute to watch him getting shy. “She’s too young and hot for me, Chanyeol.”

“You talk like your thirty,” Chanyeol complains. “First, she’s 22. Second, you’re hot!”

“I don’t know…” Jongdae sighs. “I’m not sure if I would be confident walking around with a girl like her…”

“Ah, look at that,” Chanyeol shakes his phone victoriously. “You’re both Virgos! See? A perfect couple.”

“I hardly believe that two Virgos would be ‘a perfect couple’,” Jongdae whines. “Don’t pressure me, okay? I’m already going, I did not promise I would try to get laid…”

“Fine,” Chanyeol smiles. “No pressure.”

It was a lie, but…

The doorbell rings and Chanyeol gets up to answer, since Jongdae is half naked. He always forgets to check who it is and he’s surprised when he faces Baekhyun.

“Hey,” Baekhyun says, smiling, then he checks Chanyeol out and frowns. “Oh, are you leaving?”

“Yeah, as soon as Jongdae gets ready,” he says excitedly. “Got a party to attend today. And you, friend?”

“I was… thinking about… just came to chat,” Baekhyun blinks. “It’s been a while since we did that… I mean, besides your birthday, of course.”

“Come tomorrow,” Chanyeol says. “Or Sunday, I don’t know. Unless you want to come with us.”

“No,” Baekhyun says quietly. “I’m exhausted. I have been working for four days and I hadn’t time to get a full night of sleep.”

“Then, I see you later,” Chanyeol says, closing the door. Baekhyun stops him, pushing back the door.

“Wait,” he complains. “Who are you going with?”

“Me and Jongdae?” Chanyeol frowns. “We’re gonna meet our friends from school, mostly. I bet Sehun will be there and everything. His gang isn’t around, so he sticks with the girls.”

“Ah,” Baekhyun mumbles. “That’s fine, I will—”

“I look ridiculous in this,” Jongdae announces, leaving his room. Chanyeol selected that black button up shirt that never get buttoned for a long time and his only cool jeans. “I mean who— Oh, hi, Baekhyun.”

Chanyeol sighs silently. The weird aura.

“Hey, you look good,” Baekhyun says in his enthusiastically fake tone. He’s too tired to pretend he’s not. “What a miracle that you’re leaving home. You never go anywhere.”

“Yeah,” Jongdae says with a tight smile. “Some of us have boring lives—”

“Baekhyun is leaving,” Chanyeol closes the door forcefully. “Done. Bye.”

Loud knocks on the door. Chanyeol leans against it and smiles. Jongdae frowns.

“Open the door, Chanyeol.”

“No,” he shakes his head. “I have plans to tonight and it doesn’t include you two fighting.”

“We’re not going to fight,” Jongdae says calmly. “We are going to talk.”

Louder knocks on the door.

“Talk about it tomorrow,” Chanyeol pleads and fails. Jongdae takes him off the way and opens the door. Baekhyun enters, glaring at Chanyeol.

“You asshole,” Baekhyun raises the fist to him first, then, turns to Jongdae, serious. “What were you implying?”

“That you’re working hard to have the life of your dreams,” Jongdae says peacefully. “So we don’t want to be in your way.”

“How are my two best friends in my way?” Baekhyun crosses his arms.

“Ah, now we’re your best friends,” Chanyeol mumbles, sitting on the couch. His night is probably over. “Glad to know you remember that.”

 “I haven’t forgotten you,” he says defensively, eyes widening. “I’m just busy. I’m here now…”

“Yes, you are,” Jongdae says tiredly. “So now we’re going and you can go back to your things…”

“Why are you two treating me like that?” Baekhyun asks and he sounds sincere, not hurt. “I thought you wanted me to be happy.”

“Are you?” Chanyeol asks.

“Yes,” Baekhyun says resolutely.

“You’re right, I feel satisfied,” Chanyeol stands up and grabs Jongdae’s arm. “Let’s go.”

Baekhyun looks at them and he looks… disappointed. Jongdae seems calm and tired and Chanyeol just wants to leave.

“Okay,” he finally nods. “I guess I’ll pass here tomorrow. Have fun tonight.”

Chanyeol doesn’t believe that. He waits until Baekhyun steps out and then, he ‘s right, Baekhyun comes back.

“Just because I’m chasing my dreams doesn’t mean I’m leaving you two behind,” Baekhyun says, breathing fast. “I do want to live a different life and I want you to be a part of them.”

“Then do it,” Jongdae says dryly. “Let us be a part of it.”

“You’re the one who keeps avoiding me,” Baekhyun almost whines. “And Chanyeol is being a fucking mess!”

Chanyeol raises an eyebrow.

“A what…?”

“I’m busy too,” Jongdae says. Chanyeol wishes he could speak that peacefully. “I have a life as much as you do. It may not be as glamourous, but certainly is exhausting.”

Baekhyun crosses his arms.

“Ah, I see,” he spits. “You think I’m becoming someone else. A _glamourous_ guy.”

“Why am I a mess…?” Chanyeol is still confused. “I’m great.”

“Just go, Baekhyun,” Jongdae sighs. “You just want to throw your frustrations on someone.”

“Yes, because of you two—”

“No,” Chanyeol says, because he’s a bit offended. “Everybody knows you’re not happy, Baekhyun. It’s clear as water.”

“And everybody knows you’re out of control,” Baekhyun points a finger. “And that you don’t shave downstairs, because we actually saw it.”

Chanyeol’s mouth makes an ‘O’ and Jongdae gets in the middle of them.

“Ok, that’s enough,” he says. “Chanyeol, don’t start a fight. Baekhyun, don’t mention that incident.”

“Fine,” Baekhyun screams. “Go to your stupid party! I don’t give a shit!”

“I don’t give a shit either,” Chanyeol screams back. “Go have fun being alone, dumbass!”

Jongdae lets out a long sigh when Baekhyun slams the door shut.

“Let’s go, then,” he rubs his face. “Now I have a reason to drink.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

.

 

 

 

Chanyeol feels awful. It was like that time when he was hit on the face, but ten times worse, because he wants to throw up and he’s feeling dizzy. He waits until the nightstand stops dancing to blink and try to move. It’s not— He’s not dressed, but he’s not at home. He probably overstayed in some hot dude’s house after sex and he needs to leave as soon as possible. He moves in the bed and stares the ceiling, it’s moving. Chanyeol rubs his face and tries to sit, but his head hurts badly. He tries again and this time, he can’t help but grunt loudly. Fuck, maybe his friends are right. Maybe he’s going too fast and abusing his body. He can’t even sit.

He stares at the ceiling. He looks around.

Chanyeol definitely knows this place.

Oh-oh.

“You’re awake,” Kyungsoo announces, entering the room with a mug. “Life is made of circles and here we are, with you blanking out again.”

Chanyeol stares at him. He’s using some thick, brown sweater, too big for him. His hair is a bit longer and messy and his glasses are thick but small. He offers Chanyeol the mug.

“Are you truly awake?” He frowns.

Chanyeol isn’t sure. It could be a dream induced by alcohol and that video of Kyungsoo and the tail. Who knows.

Chanyeol picks the mug. It’s warm and it feels real. He sips it – it’s a strong tea. He makes a face.

“Yeah, tastes bad,” Kyungsoo nods. “But you’ll need after throwing up that much last night.”

Chanyeol blinks. Last night?

He remembers going to a party… with Jongdae… he won a bet… he drank a lot… he found his fans… oh, yeah, he fought Baekhyun, before and… he can’t really remember Kyungsoo.

And he’s only using underwear.

“What the fuck am I doing here?” Chanyeol says, but his head hurts immediately. “Fuck!”

Kyungsoo gestures to Chanyeol to drink more. Chanyeol does it. 

“You got really drunk and asked for an Uber,” Kyungsoo said. “But you were truly wasted and you gave my address instead. You’re lucky it was a big guy and he was nice to drag you upstairs. I would have left you on the street.”

Chanyeol stares at him in disbelief.

“No,” he says. “I wouldn’t do that.”

“You did,” Kyungsoo snorts, but it sounds too serious. “And you also threw up in my bathroom floor, your pants and shirt and on my arm.”

“I didn’t even know you were back already…” Chanyeol gulps. “How…?”

“Check your wallet and you’ll see money gone,” Kyungsoo shows him the jeans in the corner of the bed. “That’s because I paid your bill.”

Chanyeol drinks a little more of tea, just to wake up of this nightmare.

“My clothes…” he mumbles, realizing what Kyungsoo just said. “They’re…”

“I took them and I washed them for you,” Kyungsoo walks away, leaving Chanyeol alone in the room. Chanyeol checks his clothes and they stink – he must have thrown up for real. He looks for his phone and finds it charging on the floor. He checks the messages and, by the amount of Jongdae’s freaking out questions, he may have gone without warning anyone. Chanyeol answers that he’s fine, but doesn’t tell where he is. He can’t explain, because he still can’t believe that this is happening.

Kyungsoo comes back with folded clothes.

“These are all that may fit you,” he says, not sparing Chanyeol’s almost naked body a look. “They won’t be fashionable, but it’s cold and you can’t use the old clothes. I couldn’t wash them properly.”

Chanyeol takes a moment to accept it.

“Thank you,” he says shyly. He wants to die. “You didn’t have to…”

“Yes, I know,” Kyungsoo sighs. “When you’re okay, come eat your porridge. You threw up a lot. You need food.”

Chanyeol nods slowly. The clothes are obviously not Kyungsoo’s – they’re a mix of Tao, Sehun, and Jongin and that’s probably some forgotten old pieces. Chanyeol kept mocking Jongdae’s Hello Kitty socks, but now he’s using a fucking t-shirt.

Chanyeol sits on the bed. He must have drunk a lot. This is the worst scenario ever; he doesn’t know what to do, so he just follows Kyungsoo’s orders and goes after him. Kyungsoo is watching a movie on the couch, under a fluffy blanket. The porridge is on the tiny table in front of him, so Chanyeol sits on the couch too, just putting some distance between them. Kyungsoo looks unaffected by Chanyeol’s presence.

“Hey,” Chanyeol says. “Anh… thank you. I’m sorry if… I made a mess.”

“That’s fine,” Kyungsoo says distracted and he drinks from his own mug.

“No, it’s not,” Chanyeol realizes. “I threw up on you and in your house.”

“Don’t worry about that,” Kyungsoo waves his hand dismissively. “I’m sure I did worse things to you.”

Chanyeol looks at the porridge on the table and then moves a bit to lean his head on Kyungsoo’s shoulder.

“You can’t keep punishing yourself forever for what happened,” Chanyeol mumbles. “I forgave you and I’m forgiving myself too. We did a lot of stupid things, but that’s how we grow up, learning what we can’t do anymore.”

Kyungsoo turns his neck to look at him.

“Nice words from a hangover.”

“I get emotional in hangovers,” Chanyeol smiles. “I hope this movie has no sad scene.”

“It’s a Pixar movie.”

“Well, damn.”

Chanyeol watches it for a few minutes, head on Kyungsoo’s shoulder, then he feels hungry and eats his porridge. It’s tasty and better than the ones he does every day; probably because Chanyeol is doing them automatically and Kyungsoo always cooks like it’s the most important thing in the world.

Chanyeol looks around and realizes why he didn’t recognize Kyungsoo’s house immediately. A lot of things are missing.

“Was your house invaded?” He says, still munching.

“No,” Kyungsoo moves his head slowly. “I’m throwing a lot of things in the garbage later or… just donating them. I don’t know, I can’t stand old things anymore.”

Chanyeol has no idea why, but that bothers him.

“Huh… how was your travel?”

“Nice.”

“You know, if I asked, you can say more than one word?”

“Very cold.”

“I’ve enough fights for a month,” Chanyeol complains. “And my head hurts too much, so I give up.”

“You need to drink water,” Kyungsoo stands up. “You’re dehydrated. What did you drink last night?”

Chanyeol watches him disappearing and coming back with a bottle of water. Chanyeol drinks straight from it.

“Whisky and Vodka,” Chanyeol answers, wiping his mouth. “Expensive thing, but you know, all I have to do is flex and they fall for those guns…”

“So, you’re selling your body for alcohol,” Kyungsoo confirms with a straight face. “Why I’m not surprised.”

Chanyeol snorts, but his head hurts and he makes a face. Kyungsoo isn’t very interested in that, so he sits back and covers himself with the blanket.

“Cute,” Chanyeol mumbles and drinks water again because he needs it.

“What are you going to do now? Should I call Jongdae?” Kyungsoo asks.

“No, I can go home on my own,” Chanyeol pouts. “I just need a moment before I try to move…”

Kyungsoo watches the movie and drinks from his mug. Chanyeol gives up of trying to get up and watches the movie with him. He doesn’t want to leave, too. It’s been a while since he and Kyungsoo talked or just stayed together as they are now.

“Why are you being so nice?” Chanyeol whispers. “Do you still feel guilty?”

“I don’t forgive myself easily, it’s true, but I don’t have a reason to treat you any other way,” Kyungsoo says simply. “I have known you my whole life, we used to be best friends and I like you. Why wouldn’t I be nice to you?”

Chanyeol picks the blanket Kyungsoo is using and gets inside – at least half of his body – of it. Kyungsoo doesn’t complain.

“I… I have a confession to make…” Chanyeol whispers. “Which is something I’m doing for myself. I’m not expecting you to say anything back to me.”

Kyungsoo moves slowly and faces him. Chanyeol feels a chill down his spine.

“I love you,” Chanyeol says and it’s pretty easy, not because he’s brave, but because he’s always knew it. “Not in a… friendly type of way. For real.”

Kyungsoo doesn’t seem to be surprised.

“I know,” he nods. “You said it before, between vomits.”

Chanyeol wants to hit himself. So, that was the reason why he asked the Uber driver to take him to Kyungsoo’s home. He drank too much and wanted to confess. Chanyeol is really a lot dumber when he drinks.

“Sorry,” Chanyeol says.

“There’s nothing to be sorry for,” Kyungsoo looks down. “Besides what happened to my arm.”

Chanyeol is feeling that storm inside of him.

“You won’t say anything else?”

“You said you didn’t want me to,” Kyungsoo frowns.

“Are you uncomfortable with that?” Chanyeol is worried. “I know you’re dating someone else. I’m not asking you to do anything, I just want to know if you’re going to hate me now.”

“No,” Kyungsoo says. “I don’t hate you. I don’t know how I feel about it, but I don’t feel uncomfortable. As I said, I like you.”

Chanyeol leans his head on the couch and sighs. It’s so weird. He’s never satisfied.

“I’m happy we stopped those things. I couldn’t take just sex anymore,” he realizes. “I want you to be only mine. No more homeopathic doses of anything.”

Kyungsoo doesn’t say anything because there’s nothing he can say. Chanyeol knows it.

“I know you think we wouldn’t work out as a couple. I know you don’t trust me and we fucked up our relationship. I know everyone thinks I’m a mess, but I’m not,” Chanyeol continues and he’s talking more to himself than to Kyungsoo. “This was just a phase. I can change. I know what I want now. I’m not confused anymore.”

Kyungsoo is just staring at him. Chanyeol touches his face.

“Things change and things don’t,” he says confidently. “You’ll see.”

“What are you talking about…?” Kyungsoo says. “Are you feeling well?”

“No, I may need Jongdae’s help to go home,” Chanyeol finally admits. “But until then, let’s cuddle?”

Kyungsoo leaves to call Jongdae, but when he comes back, he settles himself close enough to Chanyeol to cuddle him. Chanyeol nudges his nose on Kyungsoo’s hand and smiles. Jongdae takes half an hour to get there and rescue Chanyeol. Kyungsoo offers him a tea, but Chanyeol already gave him too much trouble, so they just leave. Before closing the door, Chanyeol takes a good look at Kyungsoo and smiles.

As soon as they reach home and they are completely alone, Jongdae asks,

“Did you two…?”

“No,” Chanyeol says, taking off the ridiculous Hello Kitty shirt. “I think I’ll burn my old clothes. They smell like death.”

“Why are you smiling, then?” Jongdae is confused. “You came to Kyungsoo’s house to throw up and take a nap and you’re happy?”

“Is like Jay-z says: _A loss ain't a loss, it's a lesson, appreciate the pain, it's a blessin'_ ,” Chanyeol takes off the pants – too tight, must belong to Sehun’s Dorito legs. “I’m training for my English with rappers.”

Jongdae looks so confused that he just gives up. Chanyeol smiles.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

.

 

 

The news came on a Friday, so of course, Chanyeol had to take a little time to talk to his friends. He was just leaving the gym when Stephany sent the message and he started to freak out and coincidentally he was just passing by a cake shop, so he had to buy the biggest cake and bring home.

Jongdae comes home with the sodas and finds him already packing his things.

“Ah, are you leaving so soon…?” He smiles at Chanyeol’s mess of clothes. “You shouldn’t tell us things when they are so close to—”

“No, I’m just worried because Steph asked me to bring one suitcase only,” Chanyeol throws his head back. “How can I put my entire life in one suitcase?”

“She was probably exaggerating because she knows you,” Jongdae laughs. “You can bring like, two. But you have a lot of things to clean and take from here…”

“How about you?” Chanyeol asks. They were talking about it, but Jongdae never confirmed what he was going to do when Chanyeol left. “Don’t you have things to do, too?”

“In theory,” Jongdae smiles and he sits on the bed, still holding the sodas. “But I don’t have to think about that now. I’m not in a hurry like you.”

“Ah,” Chanyeol sighs happily. “I’m super excited! Can you believe I’m going to live in another country?”

“I can,” Jongdae giggles. “You always loved to travel, Chanyeollie. I think you will do great.”

“Thank you,” Chanyeol says and he wants to start some emotional speech, but someone rings the doorbell insistently and he knows he has no time for that. Maybe because it’s a ‘farewell’ reunion, everyone gets early and no one is truly dressed for a party or a celebration. Chanyeol laughs with his friends, puts on loud music and takes lots of pictures. There’s this moment that he realizes he won’t be around them for a while, so he needs to take a break from the intense need to cry that hits him and he leaves the apartment and goes sit in the stairs.

Then he cries. A lot. Mostly because he’s happy, but also because he’s still clingy, no matter how much he loves the world outside.

“Hey,” Baekhyun says, shaking a beer. “Want one?”

“No,” Chanyeol tries to wipe his face quickly. “I’m not drinking, I told you.”

“Yeah, I know, crybaby,” Baekhyun sits next to him. “I was just checking if you said that because you were around your obsessed gym friends.”

“No, it’s serious,” Chanyeol uses his shirts to dry his cheeks. “They’re disciplined, not obsessed. That’s why they got muscles and you can’t lift the beer right.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Baekhyun opens the beer. “No pain, no whatever. Why are you crying alone here? I thought you were happy.”

“I am,” Chanyeol says. “I’m super happy, but I’m also already missing everyone…”

“You’re too soft,” Baekhyun mocks, but Chanyeol knows that he’s being fond. “We’ll miss you too.”

“I hope so…”

“I’m sorry for trying so hard to not be like before,” Baekhyun says, serious. “Being locked like that made me too eager to live the life I always dreamed of. The feeling that I was wasting my time… it was consuming me.”

“Yeah,” Chanyeol nods. “I wasn’t mad. I just missed you.”

“I know. I… realized that my dream life wouldn’t be truly what I wanted if you guys weren’t in,” Baekhyun drinks the beer, lying on the stairs, supporting himself on his elbows. “Not without my best friends.”

Chanyeol smiles and he wants to cry again. Baekhyun seems to sense it and they keep quiet for a minute.

“It’s really frustrating to get where you want to and then realize it’s not like it was in your dreams,” Baekhyun says, licking his lips. “Yixing wants me to live with him, but if I do that I know I’ll be alone in that house.”

Chanyeol sniffs involuntarily.

“If you love him, then you should demand more attention,” he says. “You’re two are dating, after all.”

“We can’t change people,” Baekhyun sighs. “That’s a hard lesson, but I finally get it. Take it or leave it.”

“Jongdae is going to be alone here too,” Chanyeol suggests.

“He doesn’t even make eye contact with me,” Baekhyun snorts sadly. “He doesn’t want me around. I would give my arm to make things be like they used to be.”

“Maybe you two should talk,” Chanyeol says. “I’m certain that he loves you and he wants you around.”

“Don’t worry about that, Chanyeol,” Baekhyun says.

“I don’t,” Chanyeol explains. “I believe that what’s true remains. _What good is a ménage à trois when you have a soulmate?_ ”

“Please stop quoting Jay-z songs. No one can take that anymore.”

“Fine!”

 

 

 

Chanyeol has a nice night and he sleeps early as he should. He lays in bed and smiles, thinking about this next chapter of his life that’s about to start. He doesn’t look at his phone anymore – he knows there’s no message waiting for him.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Besides his mother crying in the airport, Chanyeol doesn’t get emotional or regretful when leaving. He sleeps on the flight, because he’s going alone. There’re two stops, but he only has time to pick some food and buy few items before going to another plane. It's exhausting, but nothing can destroy his excitement after seeing a whole sunset greeting him. Chanyeol smiles to no one in particular and he feels content.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

.

 

 

Chanyeol prefers to use the stairs always. One or two neighbors ask him “Is that how you do at your place, _Tchãinieoll_?” Chanyeol laughs because some of them truly believe that he never saw an elevator before. It’s summer, so his sweat is mixed with sunscreen, but no one is expecting him home, besides his dog – and Toben couldn’t care less about his sweaty smell. He checks what he grabbed in the mail: some pamphlets, bills and a community newspaper. Chanyeol picks the keys and enters home absently, almost tripping on a box. He gets startled and for a dramatic long second, he thinks that it may be Toben, but he sighs in relief when he sees that’s just a thing on the floor.

“Hey,” Jessica, his roommate, makes a weird gesture that Chanyeol doesn’t get, but he nods back. “This is for you. It’s too big to fit the mailbox.”

“What?” He asks – she knows how to speak his language and he always expects her to do so, but she keeps talking in English, like that could erase the fact that they are from the same place. She has also a cool American name, which Chanyeol couldn’t do. His friends call him Loey, as a cute nickname.

“It’s for you, from your home,” she says slowly and Chanyeol knows that she’s hungover, even with her perfect state of a beauty&fashion vlogger. Once Chanyeol watched her channel and found out that she called him “big ears roommate”, but he didn’t complain. After all, she was friends with Steph and she didn’t charge him the real price of their expensive apartment. She was just a bit afraid of living on her own and Chanyeol gave her some sort of safe feeling by being a huge gay man.

“Ah,” he thumbs up. “Thank you.”

Jessica wanders around looking for her things and Chanyeol sits on the couch, welcoming an excited Toben in his arms.

“Hey you,” Chanyeol tries to contain him. “Calm down… Daddy is back home. Want a treat?”

Chanyeol follows up routine and after finishing every chore, he faces the box. It’s not big or impressive and may be one of the things he bought by the mail since American products aren’t exactly his first choice when he could wait for the mail.

He opens it and to his surprise, he finds gifts.

 

 

_Dear Chanyeol,_

_We decided to send you some things since you’re there for half a year and still didn’t come back home, not even once. We are missing you very much!_

_Your family and friends._

Chanyeol tears up because he’s truly missing everyone. He’s busy and he made some new, nice friends, but that doesn’t make him less sad when he opens Instagram and sees everyone having fun together without him. Something keeps telling him that his friends will forget him and be very happy without his presence and Chanyeol tries to fight the urge to drop everything and go back home.

He unpacks the gifts and he doesn’t even have to read from who they were; everything is very obvious, from the sex toy that Sehun sent (“you must be lonely, hyung”) to the Actually Very Useful pack of beauty care products that his sister carefully wrapped for him. Chanyeol keeps everything, the keychains, pictures, and cards and spends a week reading them over and over again. When he’s taking off the trash, he finds out that a card was stuck in the corner of the box. It’s a Rilakkuma singing card.

 

_Hello Chanyeol,_

_How are you doing? I hope you’re okay. I was in a store buying some work supplies and found this card. I remember that you used to be obsessed with those bears, so I thought you may like it._

_Xoxo,_

_Kyungsoo._

_Ps: Is my English very bad? I hope not._

Chanyeol stands in the middle of his room, shocked.

 

 

 

 

Jessica finds him crying on the floor and Toben being rightfully confused about his behavior. She pushes down her Dolce&Gabbana sunglasses to stare at him properly.

“I thought… you were… going to take out the trash,” she mumbles. “What… happened…”

“I’m the trash,” he says. “Take me.”

“I feel like you need time to yourself,” she blinks. “I’ll give you the privacy to cry. Come on, Toben…”

He’s a loyal dog and he takes a whole minute (and a biscuit) before following her. Chanyeol wipes his face and holds his knees. He was fine – it was just that he was missing everyone so much. The last months were great and he learned a lot.

But he wasn’t expecting anything from Kyungsoo, really. Chanyeol lived his everyday life without thinking about him; of course, when he did think about Kyungsoo (or just stumbled on a cute online picture of him), it was like he was being kicked in the guts. Chanyeol doesn’t think his feelings became less intense or that he moved on. Chanyeol was just distracted by how life was full of new things. His adventures on American dating apps wasn’t exactly successful, but not that bad (if he didn’t have to learn what “no rice” meant on Grindr, it would be _a lot_ better). He went to parties and had fun. Jessica introduced him to lots of people. He wasn’t lonely.

“Damn,” he sniffs. Kyungsoo really went there and bought him something from their high school days. Chanyeol picks the card again and opens it, listening to the repetitive childish song. “God, why did you make me with so many feelings?”

Chanyeol takes an hour to get ready to live again. He keeps the card, because he can’t just throw it away.

 

 

 

 

.

 

 

 

After ten months, Chanyeol is almost sure he’s not getting anywhere in the Radio. They consider him an intern, not a regular employee. Most people are fighting too hard and there are celebrities (and minor celebrities, a whole new level of comparisons about followers and weird magazine “scandals”) everywhere, stealing the spot of actual competent people. Chanyeol is mostly disgusted, but his work isn’t bad. He pays his bills and has fun, doesn’t bother about not having much perspective yet. Actually, it helps him to be more diligent, after noticing how hard it is to people to get their work known in such competitive market. He’s always surrounded by artists doing smaller jobs in any place, chasing their dreams while overworking. Chanyeol gets serious, thinking about how many will never achieve what they want and just settle for an ‘okay’ life because they need to and he works harder, is more grateful for what he has. Chanyeol spends a long time thinking that he was stuck and confused, but that was a privilege that some people don’t have; to get to choose their own path freely.

He's buying some cleaning products when he gets a message from home.

 

 **Kim Jongdae (kr):** _what’s up?_

 **Chanyeolllie:** _buying disinfectant_

 **Kim Jongdae (kr):** _American life is not as glamorous as they sold it_

 **Chanyeolllie:** _yeah_

 **Chanyeolllie:** _but what are you doing?_

 **Kim Jongdae (kr):** _getting ready to defend the thesis_

 **Chanyeolllie:** _fuck, is it today?_

 **Chanyeolllie:** _sorry!!! I forgot!!_

 **Chanyeolllie:** _how are you feeling, bro?_

 **Kim Jongdae (kr):** _chill_

 **Kim Jongdae (kr):** _Minseok is sending you a kiss by the way_

 **Chanyeolllie:** _cutie_

 **Chanyeolllie:** _send him another_

 **Chanyeolllie:** _good luck… do you want me to distract you?_

 **Kim Jongdae (kr):** _yeah, I actually am talking because of that…_

 **Kim Jongdae (kr):** _wanna see your reaction after I tell you something that a little bird told me_

 **Chanyeolllie:**??????????

 **Kim Jongdae (kr):** _got some sad news today_

 **Kim Jongdae (kr):** _a really cute couple broke up ://_

 **Chanyeolllie:** _was it my sister and her husband_

 **Chanyeolllie:** _was it MY PARENTS??????_

 **Chanyeolllie:** _do you want me TO CRY?_

 **Kim Jongdae (kr):** _NO, OFC NOT, YOU DUMBASS_

 **Kim Jongdae (kr):** _our fave goth gay couple_

 **Chanyeolllie:** _is that… who I think it is…_

 **Chanyeolllie:** _k &t?_

 **Kim Jongdae (kr):** _yup!_

 **Kim Jongdae (kr):** _fresh news_

 **Chanyeolllie:** _hmmm_

 **Kim Jongdae (kr):** _so?_

 **Chanyeolllie:** _I don’t care lol_

 **Kim Jongdae (kr):** :(

 **Chanyeolllie:** :)

 

Chanyeol runs home as soon as he buys what he needs, because he needs good internet. Toben is sleeping and barely greets him, Jessica is out, so he’s lucky. He sits down and calls Sehun. Of course, Sehun takes a while to answer. His sleepy face is on the screen and he stares, waiting for Chanyeol to say something.

“Did they break up?” Chanyeol blinks. “Are you near Jongdae now?”

“Good morning, hyung,” Sehun says pointedly. “No, I’m not, because I’m waiting for my flight so I can go see him.”

“Yes, today is an important day,” Chanyeol mumbles. “But did they break up?”

“It’s more like ‘on a break’ than ‘a break up’,” Sehun says, rubbing one eye. “Kyungsoo is very busy lately, it’s like those famous people complaining that their schedules don’t meet, you know.”

“Ah,” Chanyeol says and he can’t hide his disappointment. “So, hmmm… was it mutual or…?”

“I don’t know the details,” Sehun says. “But I guess? None of them looked sad or mad about it. Maybe they kept the benefits.”

“Ugh,” Chanyeol sticks his tongue out, disgusted. “Please no.”

“Why do you care, hyung,” Sehun is amused by Chanyeol’s reaction. “You’re not here, anyway.”

“Yeah, I don’t care,” Chanyeol tries to keep his face straight. “Just curious. Jongdae said they broke up, so…”

“Humhum,” Sehun giggles. He _giggles_. “You’re so funny.”

“Shut up,” Chanyeol spits. “Yeah, maybe I do want them to break up because I want to believe in karma and I don’t think Kyungsoo should be in a happy relationship after what happened.”

“Yeah,” Sehun nods, mocking. He’s using a hoodie and now Chanyeol can see it. “I totally believe that, hyung. Have you got that card he sent to you?”

“I did,” Chanyeol pouts. “I guess it was cute.”

“It was super cute,” Sehun says. “I bet he wrote he found it accidentally, but he went to a store to buy you a giraffe plushie and he bought this too. He even thought about giving you the plushie, but he spent days overthinking and he asked me about my opinion.”

“Really?” Chanyeol asks; his heart is beating faster.

“I told him that you would like if he wrote something, so the card would be better,” Sehun says. “Did you like it?”

“Yes,” Chanyeol smiles. “Yes, I did.”

“Good,” Sehun leans his head, smiling back. “So, I guess I’ll have to go, hyung. Don’t worry about Kyungsoo too much. He’s okay here and you’re okay too, right? There’s nothing you can do from there, anyway. Relax and enjoy your time!”

Sehun’s face disappears, but Chanyeol keeps staring at his phone. He’s right. There’s no reason to think about whatever happens to Kyungsoo’s life, because he and Chanyeol are walking different paths, now. Chanyeol is happy where he is, Kyungsoo is happy and well too. They are on good terms, being friendly and keeping up with each other’s life, even with the distance. It’s like it should be since the start.

Chanyeol should be satisfied and just appreciate that. There’s nothing else he can do.

 

 

 

 

Or there is?

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I guess the fic is finally ending and I want to know what you think!  
> thanks for reading!


	6. domicile of Venus

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Taemin is munching, so he just put his elbows on the table and rubs his hands, staring at Kyungsoo.  
> “It is the Instagram guy, right?”  
> “What?” Kyungsoo stops cutting the pancakes.

.

 

 

 

 

 

He kneels in the front of the toilet and breathes again. He has read the entire scrip three times. He knows each one of his lines. He’s good – it’s his third project. He’s not a newbie. He just needs to calm down.

“Hey,” a voice comes from outside. “Are you okay?”

Kyungsoo counts to ten, inhaling deeply. He lets out a breath and his voice is back.

“Yes,” Kyungsoo says and his voice is stable. “I am just a bit nauseous. Thank you.”

He stands up when he hears the sound of the steps fading out; he’s probably alone and all that he needs is to wash his face and walk out. He gets nervous in every audition, of course, but he gets better when he focuses himself and forgets there are people looking at him.

Kyungsoo leaves the stall and watches himself in the mirror. He’s pale. He washes his hands and face and dries with paper. He’s been so busy lately – his second job as a voice actor was a short series, but still, it took him a huge amount of time to get the right pronunciation as a villain. His family suddenly needed his help with his brother’s divorce. Kyungsoo hated himself for being slightly satisfied with the news. He wanted his brother to be happy and satisfied, but at the same time, he thought it was a good lesson to everyone who preached that being married was all that was needed. Because Kyungsoo would never have such thing, they kept treating him as a lesser adult, an incapable person.

He looks at himself as he faced the mirror. He could do it.

Almost two years before, on his birthday, he was sad, tired and depressed. His family’s remarks about his life – and the veiled prejudice – made him want to disappear. Kyungsoo did his duty, he served, and somehow it wasn’t enough. They weren’t satisfied by that. Now, Kyungsoo realizes that he delayed his dreams because he tried so hard to please people that would never get satisfied with he was doing, because they just wanted him to act as they wanted. He was so afraid of being seen, of being hurt and to bother that he erased himself and hid. He avoided people, friends, things he wanted to do…  he avoided being completely alive.

He throws the paper in the trash can and fixes his clothes.

He’s fucking ready.

 

 

.

 

It’s not just because Sehun and Jongin have decided to work that hard on their outfits and people probably can’t even see Kyungsoo even if he stands in front of them. Also, not because Kyungsoo’s table is just full of people talking loudly. And definitely not because Kyungsoo doesn’t think that he can or he shouldn’t.

Kyungsoo isn’t looking for sex because he’s not interested in getting some tonight. He just wants to celebrate, have fun and relax. It starts when he’s betting with Amber and Seungwan that he can drink the caipirinha faster than them, gets crazy when Jongin starts to dance over the table and a guy actually throws money on him and it definitely gets out of control when Kyungsoo drinks vodka he won in the bet from the bottle. He enjoys how he feels relaxed, how he’s happy to be with his friends and how much he waited to feel like this: free.

On the way home, he sits on Sehun’s lap and almost falls asleep. They sing in the car, loud and Kyungsoo closes his eyes and enjoys. It’s a moment to remember.

Yoona is the only sober one who can help him climb the stairs and he tells her how much he appreciates her company. She makes him drink two cups of water, just to be sure he’ll be okay, but Kyungsoo has a high tolerance to alcohol and he’s quite okay. She leaves after he goes to bed and Kyungsoo picks his phone to watch the pictures and the messages.

He laughs again watching the video of Amber rapping while drunk. He keeps scrolling when he gets the small message of new posts and he clicks on it.

It’s Chanyeol.

He’s using sunglasses and he’s shirtless under the open jeans coat. There are two guys with him and they’re drinking milkshakes. They’re in front of a big white wall with a stunning street art painted on it. The colors are blinding Kyungsoo’s drunk, tired eyes.

the gang is out today ☼

Kyungsoo stares at the picture and then clicks on Chanyeol’s profile. He spends the next hour scrolling through his videos and pictures, without thinking about anything else. Kyungsoo misses Chanyeol’s laugh—his voice. No one has a similar voice. Chanyeol is just one of these rare people who can never be mistaken by someone else. Everything about him is very unique and Kyungsoo has lived around him for so long that he got used to Chanyeol’s details. When they were in school, Kyungsoo pushed the chairs around Chanyeol’s chair because he always ended up hitting something while laughing or moving.

He stops scrolling in a picture of him with a dog filter.

“You’re almost twenty-seven, you dumbass,” Kyungsoo giggles and turns in bed to face the ceiling.

What a bittersweet feeling to be so happy and miss someone so badly.

 

 

 

.

 

 

Kyungsoo read in a magazine that a public place was the best place to do it and yet he feels like an asshole. He even chose the best place he knows; it’s fancy but intimate. The only sound is ambient music. Kyungsoo spent a week in a brutal hangover that he reluctantly admitted after the third day of headaches, he was grateful for the moment of peace, even with the conflict within. Or maybe not.

“I don’t really know the difference between kebab and falafel,” Taemin frowns. “Are the kebabs the little cakes and the—no, the opposite, right?”

“Yes,” Kyungsoo says, distracted. “Are you going to order soon?”

Taemin looks up and his purple, straight hair falls over his eyes – it’s always like that as if he likes some curtain protecting his gaze.

“Are you in a hurry?” He smiles, as always. “Or my slowness is bothering you?”

“No,” Kyungsoo explains quickly. “I just want to talk without anyone bothering us.”

“Then, we could have stayed at home,” Taemin says casually, turning the page of the menu. “Did you really make me shower and dress up to break up with me in public?”

Kyungsoo tries his best to keep his face unreadable. Apparently, he is _that_ predictable.

“It’s not a break-up,” he says easily because it’s true. “We’re not dating anymore.”

It wasn’t even a hard decision. After an entire month of living in the same city and not finding a single day to meet due to having busy schedules, they had to agree they had no time or patience to maintain a relationship in those terms. It was so peaceful that… well, lead to this whole situation.

“Then why does it feel like it?” Taemin asks calmly, seeming to finally choose an option. “Ah, it does have a kebab with only falafel. The vegetarian diet made me a reader.”

Kyungsoo considers his words and realizes that he may be right; that explains the conflict, at least.

“It’s kind of a break-up because it still feels like we’re dating.”

“Does it?” He smiles and pushes his hair behind. He didn’t take the coat when they sat at the table (probably because he hates following rules or because he’s cold, but so is Kyungsoo) and Kyungsoo is bothered. For many reasons.

“We’re doing exactly the same things,” Kyungsoo frowns. It’s a bit repetitive to say that when they are eating out after sex. “Literally. Changing the status haven’t changed anything.”

“Does it bother you?” Taemin closes the menu and raises his hand until someone notices him. “The lack of closure?”

Kyungsoo just stares. It does. It bothers him. But if he says yes, then he’ll have to explain why and he doesn’t have a satisfactory explanation. He doesn’t even understand why he’s not trying hard to make this work. Being in a relationship was comfortable and he had nothing to complain specifically; being busy was affecting his entire life, after all.

Taemin orders for the both of them, turning to Kyungsoo when they’re alone again,

“You said you want to talk…? I’m listening.”

Kyungsoo looks around; the few tables taken are full of couples. He keeps searching in his mind for anything to answer, but he has no reason to put an end after more than a year together. The tiny shiny adornment on Taemin’s shirt reflects the chandelier light and Kyungsoo can’t concentrate.

They stay in silence. They eat in silence.

“Okay,” Taemin sighs. “Is it someone else?”

“No,” Kyungsoo says quickly and he’s surprised with how fast it came out. “No, it isn’t.”

“Then…?” Taemin leans back in his chair and he looks as good as always. It’s kind of unfair. He could just dump Kyungsoo if he wanted to.

“Nothing,” Kyungsoo announces and then drinks the rest of his wine.

 

 

 

 

 

 

.

 

It takes him a whole month to figure out and it’s as humiliating as it sounds.

 

Kyungsoo is just reading his script, late Thursday night, too tired to move in his chair. He’s back to Pilates – he wanted to destress, but his body was taking a while to get used to his old routine. The doorbell rings insistently before he even stands up, so he’s too concerned to check who it is. He opens the door.

“Hello,” Jongin smiles. He looks like he was in a party: expensive dark clothing, makeup and one of his women’s bag. Yet, his hair is down and sweaty, his shirt is wet and his eyeliner is dripping. “I brought this. Can you take care of him?”

He shows a guy sitting on the floor. Oh, it’s Taemin.

“What happened?” Kyungsoo pushes him gently out of the way.

“We went too hard on the happy hour,” Jongin says. “He’s wasted and I’m drunk.”

Taemin isn’t as wrecked as Jongin looks, but he looks confused. Kyungsoo helps him get up and guides him inside. Jongin helps him too.

“Where were you?” Kyungsoo asks Jongin, as soon as they put Taemin on the bed.

“Dance club near the academy,” Jongin wipes his sweaty forehead. “God, I need water.”

“Are you going to throw up?” Kyungsoo asks, scared.

“No,” Jongin raises a hand. “I’m fine. Just drunk.”

Kyungsoo makes him sit and gives him a cup of water and a towel.

“Why did you come here, then?” Kyungsoo frowns. “This place is too far. Are you hiding from your girlfriend?”

“Yes, but I’m gonna sleep at Sehun’s,” Jongin smiles, giving back the empty cup. “He’s not at home, though. I couldn’t take care of Taemin, anyway, so—”

“And why did you bring him here?”

“I mean, he’s your boyfriend—”

“He’s not my boyfriend anymore.”

“Is there a difference, though?” Jongin asks and he sounds sincere. “If it makes you feel better, I knew you would be at home and you’re a good caretaker.”

“I’m not a rehab center,” Kyungsoo complains, standing up. “Take your drunk people elsewhere.”

Kyungsoo goes back to the kitchen and he’s angry, but he can’t figure why. He grabs more water to put on the nightstand; Jongin walks by, leaving.

“I’ll go now, hyung,” he announces. “If he wants to go elsewhere, he can go to Sehun’s, I’ll be there. I’m sorry if I brought him here when you two are in bad terms.”

“We’re not,” Kyungsoo frowns. “We’re okay.”

Jongin sighs deeply and his shoulders fall. He must be very annoyed because he rarely treats Kyungsoo that way.

“Why do you two have to be this mysterious with this whole thing,” Jongin whines. “This is so complicated, hyung If you’re not toge—”

“I’m in love with someone else,” Kyungsoo lets it slip.

Jongin blinks.

“What?”

“I… I…” Kyungsoo licks his lips. “You heard it.”

“But who?” Jongin’s eyes are wide as if Kyungsoo had announced to be leaving the country. “I mean… how?”

“You don’t need to know that,” Kyungsoo says resolutely. “Just… that we’re not together anymore because of that.”

Jongin spends a minute staring at him with his mouth open.

“Okay…” he nods, shaking his head. “I don’t understand anything anymore. I’m going. Bye.”

Kyungsoo waits until he heard the door closing before he sits on a chair.

Wow. Is that… true?

 

 

 

 

After thirty minutes of intense thinking, Kyungsoo is ready to fight himself. He wasn’t lying when he said that. He was never a fast liar, after all. He can do a good job of convincing people, but he’s not the one to have excuses immediately, he’s slow. If he had been prepared to put on a face, he would certainly have many answers in the tip of his tongue. But he wasn’t.

He goes back to read his script and then, gives up and goes to bed, too.

 

 

 

 

 

He wakes up in his regular waking time. He’s alone and he rolls out of bed, looking for his glasses. He hears a noise in the other room and realizes that he wasn’t sleeping alone. Kyungsoo puts on his slippers and leaves the room.

“Ah, there’s you,” Taemin says, spreading jam on his toast with a fork. He’s using the same clothes, but no shoes or rings. “How can you wake up so early with no help of a clock?”

“Old habits die hard,” Kyungsoo inspects the breakfast table. He even cooked pancakes, perfectly round. “Do they taste good?”

“I’ve learned how to cook on my own lately,” Taemin smiles, tapping the table with the fork. “Come on, nothing is too burned. I know you don’t like it.”

Kyungsoo sits down, but the atmosphere is too weird and he’s suspicious. He pours orange juice in his cup.

“Are you okay? You were wasted last night.”

“Yes,” Taemin holds an empty cup and shakes it. “Drank seven cups of water, thank you.”

Kyungsoo smiles.

“Was there a reason to drink that much?” Kyungsoo asks gently. “Hopefully good news.”

Taemin eats his toast, amused.

“I can ask you the same,” he puts his hand over his mouth before saying it. “You’re drinking a lot lately.”

“I don’t blank out and end up in the other people’s house,” Kyungsoo raises an eyebrow.

“I wasn’t unconscious. I get even more attentive when I’m drunk,” he says casually. “I was just drunk, quiet and sleepy. If Jongin would have waited for an hour or two, I would’ve gone back home on my own.”

Kyungsoo wants to say something, but the words get stuck in his mind. It means something, he knows, but he’s not feeling very confrontational in the morning, so he just eats his toast and stops overthinking.

“The pancakes are good,” he says politely. “Thank you.”

Taemin is munching, so he just put his elbows on the table and rubs his hands, staring at Kyungsoo.

“It is the Instagram guy, right?”

“What?” Kyungsoo stops cutting the pancakes.

“About what you said to Jongin,” he licks his lips. “Is it him?”

Kyungsoo shouldn’t be surprised that he heard. After all, his apartment is really small. Yet, he’s not getting the logic. He looks at his half-cut pancakes and…

“Yes,” Kyungsoo says. “It’s him.”

“I knew since the start,” Taemin leans his head, as if he can see beyond the surface. “You got that mad with someone. It must have been a rooted feeling then.”

Kyungsoo doesn’t say anything. He feels like he did something wrong – he knows he hasn’t, but his ears are burning. They keep eating like nothing is happening just like in the restaurant, Kyungsoo realizes.

“I got rehearsal five hours from now,” Taemin checks his watch. “But thanks for letting me stay the night.”

“Aren’t you mad at me?” Kyungsoo is a bit worried. “I’m sorry for only explaining things now.”

“You didn’t,” Taemin mocks, taking his dirty dishes. “But I’m glad to know that you’re sorry.”

Kyungsoo stays in the table, listening to the water sounds and he’s not hungry. He feels… hopeless. Well, he’s in love with Chanyeol and now that he has said it out loud, it seems like it was the simplest thing in the world. He loves Chanyeol, he misses Chanyeol and nothing will probably be done about it, because Chanyeol moved on with his life; he didn’t wait for Kyungsoo’s realization. And he’s right because Kyungsoo did lots of stupid things. Their timing is wrong, their lives are going separate ways and they’re too distant now.

What an amazing way to find love.

                                                                                                        

 

 

 

.

 

 

Kyungsoo has a long, unproductive day at work.

After finishing his last project, he has time, a bit more money and energy, but nothing to do, unless apply to do more work. Having this much time in his hands isn’t comfortable for him. He doesn’t rush during worktime, his mind wanders. Kyungsoo isn’t in his more creative moments. He gets tired of drawing and getting nowhere and goes out on his own.

He doesn’t do that. Social anxiety ruined his independent life for too long. Kyungsoo doesn’t want to drink alone, so he picks a simple’s activity: going to the movies. No one will stare or bother him in a dark room. Kyungsoo chooses the more diverse place, he’s tired of blockbusters. He walks by the posters, checking the time and stops in front of an Iranian movie poster. It’s an old movie, but there’s a session starting in thirty minutes.

“Of course, he would choose the boring-est movie.”

“He works with animation and he’s missing the best one…”

“He’s too smart for that.”

“An intellectual.”

Kyungsoo turns back slowly, looking for the owner of the voices. Baekhyun and Jongdae are behind him with smiles on their faces. They are dressed casually like they weren’t planning to go out.

“Hello,” Kyungsoo blinks. “What a coincidence.”

“You never have time for us, yet you’re here by yourself,” Baekhyun crosses his arms. “Are you waiting for someone?”

“A date?” Jongdae suggests, waving his eyebrows.

“No,” Kyungsoo sighs. The lines are getting longer. “Just left work earlier.”

“Oh, I see,” Baekhyun nods. “Just in time to watch the movie with us!”

“No,” Kyungsoo says without thinking. “I…”

“Shut up,” Baekhyun walks closer and grabs his arm. “It’s on us. Right?”

“Yup,” Jongdae nods. He’s holding a McDonald's bag. “Since we have no fries for you, even the popcorn is free.”

“What are you going to watch?” Kyungsoo panics a little while Baekhyun drags him.

“Venom,” Jongdae announces happily.

“The critics hated it,” Kyungsoo tries. “They said it was like a bad comedy.”

“My favorite genre of movies,” Baekhyun says and to Kyungsoo’s horror, the longest line is to watch Venom. “Also, we came to see Tom Hardy making out with a monster, friend. That’s the catch.”

“What a man,” Jongdae sighs cutely.

Kyungsoo gives up. The line to pay is long, but to come in is even longer and they have plenty of time to talk.

“The singing class is pretty close from the movie theater,” Jongdae points with a finger, but Kyungsoo is distracted by the piercings in his ear. Baekhyun is using the same one. “It’s fun, Kyungsoo. You should come with us.”

“I’m too old to start singing,” Kyungsoo laughs. “And I won’t do anything with it.”

“We do because it’s super fun,” Baekhyun shrugs. “You don’t have to become a professional singer. You can just win Karaoke championships.”

“I’ll think about it,” Kyungsoo says dismissively. “I thought you two were busy.”

“Ah, I’m taking a break since I defended my thesis,” Jongdae nods. “I’m helping Baekhyun with his work.”

“Well, I’m learning a big life lesson that is seeking help,” Baekhyun smiles at Jongdae and his eyes are shining in a certain way. Kyungsoo frowns.

“I’ll sit in the middle,” Kyungsoo says. “I don’t want this to become Chanyeol’s teenage sleepovers.”

Baekhyun and Jongdae laugh, instead of being embarrassed by the memory of their teenage groping.

“Talking about Chanyeol,” Baekhyun says casually, “he’ll be back for his birthday.”

“Yes, he’ll stay for a little bit,” Jongdae adds. “If we’re celebrating, you’ll come, right?”

“I guess…” Kyungsoo says and he’s trying his best not to show any reaction. Of course, Chanyeol would be back sometime. He’s been away for almost a year. “If I’m not busy.”

Baekhyun and Jongdae have this similar grin in their faces, but Kyungsoo chooses to ignore them. After all, he had nothing to hide. He even sent Chanyeol a card when the boys gathered to send him gifts. No one is expecting Kyungsoo to avoid the topic.

“Ok,” Jongdae winks. “Hey, what about we do a drinking game next time we come here?”

“Next time?” Kyungsoo panics.

 

 

 

.

 

“The thing is,” Tao holds one mini waffle and dips it into the mug with honey. “You’re a Capricorn. So, you tend to cling onto things that hurt, because they’re familiar. You keep doing things that look comfortable and predictable, because you hate to destabilized.”

“In conclusion,” Sehun says, stealing the mini waffle. “Drop the job now.”

“How can we be best friends…” Tao squints his eyes, slapping Sehun. “When you’re an Aries and you steal my food?”

“I didn’t say that I was going to leave my job,” Kyungsoo presses his forehead. “I said I was planning to ask for a part-time period of work, in the future. But thanks for the advice and the astrology rant.”

It all went downhill as Kyungsoo was offered to travel to spend an evening in Tao’s new boat. He only accepted because he wanted to escape his other friends, but he notices now that Tao and Sehun aren’t the best options too. They lose control when they’re together. They speak about things that make no sense to Kyungsoo. They bicker.

“I’m glad that you’re dedicated to your dream, Kyungsoo,” Zitao says, picking another waffle. “I thought you liked to draw, too.”

“Yes, but it’s hard to grow in this type of business, I’m just copying styles and applying things,” Kyungsoo says, trying to get comfortable in the seat. The boat is small, but it’s getting too cold to be floating in the sea. He didn’t imagine that people enjoyed doing such a thing, but apparently was the best moment to use fancy clothes was to be in a boat at the same time. It’s a bit extravagant for him.

“Ah, look,” Sehun shows his phone. “Jongin is complaining that we are having fun without him.”

Kyungsoo reads the messages and snorts.

“He’s having an emotional breakdown.”

“He’s right to stay with his girl. It’s been breakup season,” Zitao says. “I mean, someone has to be successful at relationships here.”

“After Yixing and Baekhyun, the perfect couple, I doubt any relationship can survive,” Sehun says. “I didn’t even have time to ask for a threesome.”

“You’re a hoe,” Tao laughs.

“We’re all hoes here,” Sehun laughs back. He puts on his black sunglasses and Kyungsoo drinks a sip of wine before looking at the sunset.

Chanyeol would love this. This whole trip is just his type – and if he was there, Kyungsoo would definitely laugh more. If Chanyeol could make the school look good, then he would convince Kyungsoo that this is the best thing ever.

“Kyungsoo,” Zitao snap his fingers. Kyungsoo blinks, coming down to earth. “Wow, you’re smiling to nothing. Are you okay?”

“Yes,” Kyungsoo says. “I was…”

“That’s fine,” Sehun waves his hand dismissively. “We all know what are you thinking about.”

Zitao drinks his wine, but Kyungsoo can see the corners of his mouth moving up.

 

 

 

 

 

.

 

Kyungsoo opens his eyes and looks at the ceiling. He searches for his glasses, slapping the nightstand and put them on his face. He stares at the screen of his phone:

 

**27 November 2018, Tuesday**

Party at Jongdae’s, 19h

 

Kyungsoo sighs.

He washes his face, shaves, takes a bath, dresses up, cooks breakfast, and leaves. His way to work is short and quiet. He walks to his table and sits down to catch up with the last frame. Seulgi passes by with coffee, they chat a bit. She doesn’t ask about the party, but Kyungsoo knows that they’ll be there. He has a break and he eats a sandwich and drinks juice. His mother calls and he answer her outside, next to the parking lot. He sits back and draws.

17:35

He avoids checking his watch. He keeps drinking the cold morning coffee in small sips. He finishes the frame easily and sends it to revision.

17:59

He gets ready to go, checks his table and goes to the bathroom. He’s not dressed to go to a party, but he looks okay. He fixes his hair and dust off his black t-shirt. He has muted the notifications on his phone to avoid getting more anxious. He still has an hour to freak out.

18:15

He gets on a bus. If there’s no traffic, he’ll be by Jongdae’s in thirty minutes or less. He turns on the notifications. Mostly are from the group chat, the daily bickering between the boys, but there are messages from other numbers. Kyungsoo answers some of them before checking the missed calls.

**Kjd (home): 3 missed calls**

Kyungsoo stares at his phone and frowns. His hands are sweating and he starts to breathe faster. It doesn’t mean that Chanyeol is calling him. It may be something else.

Kyungsoo has no idea of what he’s going to do. He gets off the bus a stop before the one near Jongdae’s house and he finds a small place serving beer and meat. He enters it, because he doesn’t want to be early. It’s small, but there are tables and ambient music inside, so he sits near the counter after ordering a beer and a burger. Kyungsoo turns off the notifications; he only sends Jongin a picture of where he is, in case they decided to go to his house to drag him to the party.

Kyungsoo zooms out a little, then he hears someone sniffing. He looks around. There’s a man, just in the corner, with at least five cans of beer on his table, eating a gigantic piece of meat that’s floating in his ramen soup. He’s also crying.

He stares at Kyungsoo. Kyungsoo pretends he hasn’t seen a thing.

Kyungsoo drinks a beer waiting for the burger and another three while eating.

19:08

It’s too soon, Kyungsoo thinks. Most people haven’t arrived yet. He asks for another beer and this time he does stare at the crying man. He’s using an expensive suit and his watch is definitely a Rolex. What a guy dressed like that would be doing at a small place like this?

19:17

Kyungsoo sighs. He could go – but he knows that Zitao only gets in an hour or two after the beginning of the party.

He still doesn’t know what he’s going to say to Chanyeol. It sounds stupid to confess after all that happened. When Chanyeol did, Kyungsoo didn’t say a thing. Now, Chanyeol is living abroad. Kyungsoo needed all this time to realize something so obvious. And he didn’t even realize by himself. He’s not very smart when it’s about feelings.

Maybe he shouldn’t.

Chanyeol is probably doing a lot better without him and Kyungsoo wasn’t exactly nice when they were together—

“Did you break up too?” The guy at the other table asks. He asked in such a hopeless tone that Kyungsoo actually looked at him. “Today isn’t a nice day.”

“No,” Kyungsoo answers defensively. He isn’t that drunk to open up to a stranger.

“Ah,” the man nods. “Sorry. You looked sad.”

Kyungsoo watches him eating his noodles. He’s a handsome man – the swollen eyes and the red face can’t disguise his attractiveness.

“What if I said yes?” Kyungsoo asks.

“I would buy you beers,” the man munches. “Solidarity between dumped people.”

Kyungsoo snorts. He’s kind of funny. Kyungsoo checks his watch. 19:32. Kyungsoo has nothing to do but wait, so…

“It’s the opposite,” Kyungsoo says.

“Are you going to get married?” The man asks, confused. “I’ve been married. It’s not that bad. I know people make it sound like it’s horrible—”

“How old are you?” Kyungsoo frowns suddenly.

“Twenty-eight,” the man sniffs.

“You’re young to be divorced.”

“I got divorced three times,” the man sniffs again. “I’m a hopeless romantic.”

“Huh,” Kyungsoo wants to laugh; the man is pouting without noticing. “I have a friend I would like to introduce you. You two would be a great couple.”

The man looks at Kyungsoo for a long time and then pushes the chair next to him, gesturing to Kyungsoo to sit. Kyungsoo already finished his meal and he’s not in a hurry to leave, so he goes. He has to get ready to do crazier things and he doesn’t want to think about it.

“It’s a guy,” Kyungsoo announces in a quiet voice.

“Is it a hot guy?” The man asks. “That’s more important.”

“Yeah,” Kyungsoo takes his phone off his pocket. “Hot, tall and has… fashionable taste.”

The man is carrying his car keys in a fluffy bunny key chain. This is really meant to be. He shows Tao’s pic on his phone. The man seems to like him.

“Is he… single?” Th man smiles. “I like his header. What’s his handle?”

It’s a hello kitty glitter header.

“@taozi, t-a-o-z-i,” Kyungsoo says. “Save it in your phone.”

“I broke my phone,” he says and his face falls. “I was… out of my mind… threw the phone off the window.”

Kyungsoo is impressed.

“You can tell me the whole story,” Kyungsoo shrugs. “I’m a good listener.”

It’s actually an amazing story. He tells how he met each one of his partners, “marry” (officially, only the first wife) and got divorced the same way: they all accused him of working and traveling too much. Kyungsoo does believe that he found Tao’s soulmate at this point. Kyungsoo drank more beers and he’s feeling a bit high, but he’s way more relaxed. It started to rain and the sound is better than the music they were playing before.

“It’s almost ten pm,” the man says, checking his watch. “I can’t believe I was talking this whole time!”

Kyungsoo checks his watch, the guy was right.

“I’m sorry to keep you here,” the man fumbles his pockets. “I’ll give you my card.”

“I have a party to attend,” Kyungsoo says. “But I’m not sure if I want to go. I would have to face someone I don’t want to.”

“Who?” He asks, still searching in his pockets.

“A guy I’m love with,” Kyungsoo confesses. “He’s… back. I don’t know how to tell him…”

“Awwwnnnn,” the man smiles. “This is so cute… ah, here it is…”

Kyungsoo takes the card and reads it.

 

**KIM JUNMYEON**

**MANAGER**

**(XX) XXXX - XXXX**

 

“Kim Junmyeon,” Kyungsoo says out loud. “Ah, should I call you first or should I ask him—”

“Hey,” Junmyeon says, frowning. “This guy you talked about. Is he tall, muscular and he looks like an elf?”

Kyungsoo blinks.

“Yes…? How do you…” Junmyeon points discreetly and Kyungsoo turns back.

Chanyeol is outside – not that much, just standing a step behind the entry. It’s raining on him and he’s using a giant coat that makes him look even bigger. He’s holding a bag and he looks… mad.

“Chanyeol…?” Kyungsoo asks, shocked. Chanyeol walks in slowly, staring at him. He’s tanned and his hair is longer, now in a silver color, but Kyungsoo can’t tell it right because it’s mostly wet. Chanyeol only stops by their table and he raises a finger to Kyungsoo.

“I traveled for a fucking day, it’s my goddamn birthday and you’re here,” Chanyeol says slowly. It’s crazy, but Kyungsoo is actually happy to see him, despite Chanyeol’ s annoyed tone. “I looked for you in at least ten places and if Jongin hadn’t helped me, I would be running around while you’re here asking a hot guy’s number?”

Kyungsoo is so surprised that he can’t answer.

“Am I the hot guy?” Junmyeon points to himself, confused.

“Shut up,” Chanyeol spits. “I got him first, okay? You won’t get your… really okay… hands on him. I’ve been waiting for too long—”

“What the hell you’re doing here?” Kyungsoo’s brain starts functioning again. “Your birthday party—”

“Fuck my birthday party,” Chanyeol says and he’s pouting. “I’m done with those little games. I came back to get you and I won’t move my ass while we’re not dating!”

“Oh, this sounds like a romantic movie,” Junmyeon coos.

“Did you leave everyone there and come here? What do you mean with “dating” and—”

Junmyeon slaps Kyungsoo’s arm. Kyungsoo looks at him offended and Chanyeol is ready to fight.

“He has something to tell you,” Junmyeon says to Chanyeol. “Come on.”

Kyungsoo looks at Chanyeol. Chanyeol is doing that face, that particular face with big eyes and his mouth curled back, when he’s actually about to cry, but he doesn’t want to show it. It’s cute.

“I love you,” Kyungsoo says.

Chanyeol’s mouth now it’s a perfect ‘O’.

“I have loved you since we met,” Kyungsoo says easily. “I never, ever, have been as comfortable around someone as I am with you. I just…”

“Just?” Chanyeol is scared.

“I just got distracted by my life and how much bad shit was going on,” Kyungsoo completes. “Being with other people just… I can find reasons to date them and to convince myself you’re the worst and I can do better, but I want you. I want to come back to you.”

This is love, Kyungsoo thinks. He had expected something more complex and louder, but in the end, it was just having a best friend.

Chanyeol actually sheds a tear – or maybe his hair is dripping. He turns his palm to Kyungsoo and Kyungsoo takes his hand.

“Ah, let’s go home, Kyungsoo-yah,” Chanyeol smiles and his dimples appear. “I have got lots of things to tell you.”

“Wait,” Kyungsoo puts Junmyeon’s card in his back pocket when he stands up. “Don’t worry, I’ll give your number to Tao. He’ll love to meet you.”

Chanyeol looks at both of them and frowns.

“Tao…?”

“Yeah, dumbass,” Kyungsoo says, interlacing their fingers. “I’m actually a useful friend.”

Chanyeol seems to finally understand.

“Ah, of course,” he giggles. “Are you a useful boyfriend?”

“You’ll have to find out,” Kyungsoo says. “Start paying for my beers if you’re so eager.”

“I can pay for them,” Junmyeon says. Chanyeol takes out his wallet in less than a second.

“I’ll pay for my boyfriend’s beers,” he says, offended.

“Okay,” Junmyeon raises his both hands and nods. “Don’t get stressed. Just trying to help.”

Kyungsoo raises his hand and pushes his finger against Chanyeol’s mouth until he stops pouting.

“Dumbass.”

“Tiny evil demon!”

 

 

 

 

 

.

 

 

Chanyeol’s birthday party is actually really boring. Besides the gossiping, there’s no other fun thing to do. Chanyeol didn’t allow any alcoholic drink since he wasn’t drinking anymore and it felt like a teenager party – it could be, Kyungsoo realizes, because all of his school friends are there. The boys, the girls, the one who were just kids and now are adults… Kyungsoo thinks about how much they have to walk to end up in the same spot.

“I missed you,” Chanyeol says and he gives Kyungsoo a tiny kiss on his cheek. “I missed you.”

“Stop repeating that,” Kyungsoo complains. Chanyeol is being an octopus and he doesn’t let Kyungsoo move in his arms. “I missed you too!”

“But I missed you more,” Chanyeol complains.

“You two are being disgusting,” Sehun complains – he’s the only who didn’t care about them hugging and sat on the same couch. “If you leave to your room, no one will care.”

“It’s not my room anymore,” Chanyeol points. “And it’s full of clothes and mannequins… it’s scary…”

“Use mine,” Jongdae says, passing by with a cup and smiling. He’s very smiley lately, Kyungsoo notices. It seems like breakup season ended, Kyungsoo notices. Even Yeri, the youngest of them all, is dating a girl. He smiles at Chanyeol.

“I want us to talk privately,” Kyungsoo says.

“Talk privately,” Sehun mocks. Chanyeol and Kyungsoo stare at him. “Go have sex!”

They end up being kicked out of – or into – the room. Kyungsoo sits on the bed and Chanyeol looks around as if he’s searching something.

“Before you start this boyfriend thing,” Kyungsoo says seriously, even if Chanyeol isn’t paying attention. “Are you going to stay? I’m not sure if you want to have a long-distance relationship.”

Chanyeol nods, but he’s messing with Jongdae’s closet.

“Yes,” he says. “I left because I was running away and that’s not a good reason to start a new life.”

“How about your job?”

“I got a job here,” Chanyeol sticks his head in the closet and his voice comes out muffled. “It’s the same old thing, but at least I’m home.”

“And your friends back there?”

“They remain my friends,” Chanyeol gets out of the closet. “Look at this bastard. He’s fucking someone.”

It’s a bottle of lube.

“What are you doing?” Kyungsoo frowns. “I am trying to solve things here.”

“We have time to discuss that,” Chanyeol kneels in front of him and rubs Kyungsoo’s tight affectionately. “Now I do want to do really sappy sex while we hold hands.”

“No,” Kyungsoo says.

“Yes,” Chanyeol nods. “And you’ll have to say that you love me the entire time.”

He kisses Kyungsoo and Kyungsoo thinks it’s a simple way to convince someone. It’s a bit different – they’re not in a hurry. They take off their clothes one by one and Kyungsoo stops to appreciate Chanyeol’s new tattoos.

“I like your tan,” Kyungsoo whispers in his ears while Chanyeol is helping him with his pants. “It looks good on you, the beach guy type.”

“I look better on you,” Chanyeol smiles.

It’s… a bit sappy.

Kyungsoo enjoys the long kisses and rubs Chanyeol’s back. Chanyeol’s ears are red and this is probably the cutest thing that could happen. Kyungsoo rubs them.

“Don’t laugh,” Chanyeol says. “I’m nervous.”

“Why?” Kyungsoo asks.

“I’ve been waiting for this for too long,” Chanyeol confesses. Kyungsoo understands; he’s not talking about a year or so. He’s talking about the real thing. Kyungsoo closes his eyes and enjoys the sensation of their skin rubbing, of being grabbed and kissed.

“Are you giving me hickeys?” Kyungsoo opens one eye and watches Chanyeol biting his shoulder. “Really?”

“Stop complaining,” Chanyeol whines. “I love you.”

“I love you,” Kyungsoo says, pulling him for a kiss.

It seems that their bodies haven’t lost the memory of touching. It’s so easy to accommodate Chanyeol inside of him, like a really old song that you never forget the lyrics.

“Can’t wait to have this every day,” Chanyeol whispers, a bit breathy. He holds Kyungsoo’s leg against his chest and rubs his tight. “I will make you pay for being that slow…”

Kyungsoo is just being led, letting his body being moved and he’s unbothered by that.

“You’re slow too,” he says. “All this time… you… never noticed I was in love… with you?”

Chanyeol smiles and he looks satisfied, not horny. Kyungsoo can’t believe he’s really that whipped already.

“Are you going to fuck me right or…?” Kyungsoo pushes his hips up and Chanyeol groans. “I’ll… have to do it myself…?”

He missed Chanyeol’s angry looks, for some reason. He pulls out his dick and Kyungsoo thinks absently that they’re doing sex without a condom, but it’s not the first time.

“Turn back,” he slaps Kyungsoo’s leg softly. “Wanna go back to the old times? Then you get it.”

Kyungsoo sits in bed instead. He’s probably messing up the sheets with lube, but he grabs Chanyeol’s hand and pulls two fingers, guiding to his mouth. Chanyeol is hypnotized, looking how he licks them.

“Holy shit,” he mumbles.

Kyungsoo is serious.

“I’ll turn back, fine,” Kyungsoo says. “But then you’ll grab my hair and you’ll make me your bitch. You’re going to fuck me good, right?”

Chanyeol looks truly shocked and he’s back to horny in a second.

“I can’t be romantic with you,” he says.

“We’ll have time for that,” Kyungsoo grins.

 

 

 

 

 

.

 

 

Chanyeol’s boss, Stephany, comes out of a pink Cadillac in a short, pastel green hair and looks at them. More specifically, at their matching black clothes.

“Not only you’re back to your evil ex,” she says. “You’re evil now, too?”

“I guess,” Chanyeol says, licking his ice-cream. “Thanks for coming. I know you’re busy.”

She closes the car door and offers him a box. Chanyeol gives his ice-cream to Kyungsoo and takes it.

“What is it?” Chanyeol is opening it, but he can’t wait.

“A gift for your new house,” she winks to Kyungsoo. “Congrats for the moving together, by the way.”

“It’s a bad idea,” Kyungsoo repeats because he knows he’s right. Chanyeol will destroy his little, well-kept place with all of his trash. Kyungsoo threw the old stuff, but Chanyeol remained; he needed a place and Kyungsoo would never let him go. Like Kyungsoo agreed in throwing him a kid’s themed party since he ruined Chanyeol’s birthday by making him walk around in the rain. He’s taking responsibility.

“Oh, that’s so cool, it’s those waffle bowl maker machines,” Chanyeol says, excited. “Look, Kyungsoo! You didn’t have one…”

It’s pink and the reason why Kyungsoo didn’t have one was that who the fuck needed that?

“Thank you,” he says because he’s polite.

“No problem,” she smiles. “I’ll see you on Monday?”

“Yup,” Chanyeol nodded. “Congrats on not getting back at your evil ex!”

“She’s dating the other girl,” Stephany says. “But I guess they deserve each other. So do you two!”

Kyungsoo isn’t sure if he’s being offended.

“Thank you,” Chanyeol says, waving while she leaves. “We need to put this in the box. I want more crepes.”

“Finish your ice-cream first,” Kyungsoo says tiredly. Baekhyun and Jongdae are in the ball pool and they can’t stop screaming. He’s hundred percent sure that Zitao ate the entire mini-pizza truck. It’s hard to be the only adult around.

Chanyeol kisses him – a small peck in the lips.

“Thank you. I love you,” he smiles. “Why don’t you try to have fun?”

There were actual kids being invited (like Chanyeol and Jongin’s nephews and nieces), and every time Kyungsoo tried to talk to them, they started to cry. Kyungsoo needed to think better before accepting the villain role in a kid’s movie.

“I’m fine,” Kyungsoo sighs.

“Am I exhausting you…?” Chanyeol says pointedly.

“No,” Kyungsoo says and licks his ice-cream. “But you can definitely exhaust me later.”

Chanyeol smiles.

 

 

.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for being with me! I hope you enjoyed this fic :)  
> It was a bit tiring, but I had fun.   
> Thanks again Midou for helping me!
> 
> <3

**Author's Note:**

> hewwo!
> 
> I just want to thank Midou for reading this!  
> Hope you all enjoy the fic :)


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